For the past 10 months, I have been going to the same gas station since it is around the corner from where I live and it tends to be the cheapest. During these past few months, I have never run into any type of problems with other people. Which made feel comfortable enough and safe enough to continue to go there; and not worry about things such as haters, transphobic remarks, and so forth. Yet, for some reason, within almost two weeks of each other, there where two incidences that have now left me questioning if was ever really safe to go there; and looking for a new gas station.
The first problem happened when this sketchy guy came right up to me (while I was in the middle of pumping gas), to the point of invading my personal space. Wanting to know if I would like to buy a set of large gold plated hoop earrings for $5. But after I politely told him no thank you; he continued to describe how nice they were; as he put them next to his ear and insisted that I buy them. At one point, he even asked how much money I had...("uhhh, none to give to you sir"). Finally, after a few minutes of him insisting I buy them, even though I kept telling him no thank you; he finally gave up he beings to walk towards his friend sitting near the entrance of the store.
Then, several days later, when I stopped by the gas station again, to fill up my tank and get a soda. One of the two men behind the counter, who has rung me up for gas and other things several times before. Seemed to be more focused on hitting on me then ringing me up for the stuff I was trying to buy. He spent like 15 minutes wanting to know if I was a boy or girl, if I was married or single, making comments about the batman shirt that I was wearing, the fact that I had nail polish on (trying to grab my hand to look at them), or that I had stubble/facial hair. He tried to explain that he was indian and how great that was compared to other cultures. Telling me how well he would treat me and respect me. While I somewhat found it very flattering in how hard Mr. Charmer was trying to hit on me. It became annoying, when he kept asking me if I was a boy or girl and then question me if I was sure when I gave him my answer; all because of how I looked.
Of course, while I am having this interaction with Mr. Charmer, the other guy behind the counter at some point chimes in to ask if I was a teacher. Because he saw me at the school (where I work) his kid goes to. After several attempts of being rung up for two items (due to his error), Mr. Charmer finally rings me up for the gas and soda. And of course, Mr. Charmer couldn't let me leave without asking me when I was free, telling me his schedule, and that he hoped to see me soon. Seeing that I'm more interested in woman then men and my sexuality is in a bit of flux right now...my sex drive and interest is virtually non existent since starting HRT. I just smiled back at him and said I was busy with work (two jobs), taking care of two children by myself when I have them and I'm not working, and other commitments I have.
When I'm finally outside and being to walk to my car, another random guy rushes over towards me, because he was trying to give out homemade music CD's for a small donation. I tell him no thank you and quickly walk to my car to fill up the tank; only to find out that I was never rung up for any gas. At this point, I just wanted to go to another gas station, but I was already on E, so I was kind of stuck in getting gas there. When I go back inside the store to pay for the gas again, there were several people at the counter. Who all had to look at me as they take out their phones to take pictures/videos. As if they were tourist and I was the attraction. One of the customers even had to ask me "where did you come from".
When I get to the counter, I made sure Mr. Charmer was not helping me this time. But, as the other guy beings to ring me up, they switch, and I'm stuck with Mr. Charmer hitting on me again. Luckily, I go rung up for the gas without a problem this time and finally walk to my car and fill up the tank. As I stood there filling up my tank, Mr. Charmer comes outside towards me and begins to asking yet again; if I was a boy or girl and then if I was sure when I gave him my answer. He then continued to ask if I was born a boy, and then felt it was okay to ask if I still had certain working parts; after telling him I was transgender and in transition. As soon as he asked that question, he crossed the boundary, I should have said something, but I didn't.
He continues to ask me again what my schedule was, told me when he was free (he really wanted to meet up at 11pm that night), and that he hoped to see me soon. Why is Mr. Charmer so intent on hooking up with me? Who does he think I am? When he sees that I'm finally finished filling up my gas tank, he asked me again if I was his "friend", as he extends his arm to shake mine. Being the nice person I am and the need to end this interaction, I quickly shake his hand. But of course, while in the middle of shaking his hand, he had to take his index finger and rub my palm...that has never happened to me and it made me feel down right violated and uncomfortable.
Originally Posted by STACY B
