Always check before telling!

[AprilMayy<3]

Now I'm sure most of us at some point have thought "She might be accepting of CD'ing, maybe she'd be a good girlfriend?"(As is girl girlfriend, like "Hey gurlfrand!")
Anyways, my co-worker is a year older than I, and an easy person to talk with. She is married with a kid, so I can't have her, though maybe April can? I have just brought up various TG topics in the news recently, e.g Caitlyn Jenner. And boy oh boy, was I glad I checked her opinion before telling her.

"It goes against my religion, and I can't deal with anyone like that" (Not starting a religious debate, her words not mine)

Well, I'm glad I checked first before just letting her know about April lol. April will have more IRL friends soon enough, just not now it seems haha

[kimdl93]

Of course one should never presume. Besides, I don't think that coming out should be an exercise in exhibitionism. If you need to come out, do so in a planned and thoughtful way, starting with those nearest and dearest. Casual acquaintances come last.

[Robin414]

Wow, dodged a potential bullet there girl! I'll take that as good advice! What has CJ done for YOU personally?

[Jazzy Jaz]

I guess its a good thing shes already married!

[pamela7]

i guess it depends on whether "loving thy neighbour" is top priority for a person's belief system, or at least not hating thy neighbour for his dress code or beliefs

[sometimes_miss]

The pink fog can get very thick, very quickly. One minute we're afraid of anyone knowing, the next, after a celebrity comes out, we think that CDing is perfectly normal, that no one would bat an eye at a 60 year old man in a tutu and toe shoes. Glad you dipped your toes in the water before taking the plunge and sinking to the bottom!

[Candice June Lee]

I leave my personal life, personal at work. It's not their business. Coworkers are not more than acquaintances and I try to keep it that way. I don't even have conversations about much that doesn't affect our work.
It's good that you didn't just jump in and open up to your coworker. You could lose a good work friend and have strife at work.

[alwayshave]

April, did your co-worker know you were a CD? Then how would you know that she was culturally/religiously conservative. People at my office know about my fiancee and my children (pictures on desk), that I live in the city (walk to work) and where I go for happy hour (I take the associates who work for me out semi-regularly). Beyond that, my personal life stays as far away from the Office as possible.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi April May, See line #3 in my signature.

[AnnieMac]

I know her husband, he is in our CD group.

[Tracii G]

Best to keep your personal life away from people you work with.
I understand the urge to tell certain people about your "other side" but is it really the right thing to do? Not always.

[katie_barns]

I had one friend at work that I was out to but she switched jobs. She actually figured me out, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut about her cute cloths and accessories. She finally just flat asked. I figured she be ok with it, so I fessed up. She was, and we became good friends, at lease work friends. She was single, I'm married. So only work friends. But it was nice having someone to talk to. I do believe in making sure someone is ok with it before opening up.

[Meghan4now]

April will have more IRL friends soon enough, just not now it seems haha

IRL? Are you planning on a move to Indiana, and hanging out at the brickyard a lot? April will need sensible shoes.

Very wise for testing out the waters.

Generally, I would guess many women at her stage in life would not be all that interested in a confidential relationship with a CD. They've got a lot on their plate, and focus is on the PTA, keeping the house clean, and getting her husband to help with the chores. I can't imagine they would have time or the inclination to discuss beard shadow tips and the best adhesive for breast forms. Plus as EVERYBODY knows, CDS are all Perverts and Preditors. Try explaining hanging out with her to her red blooded husband. Yes, I know I'm being a little hyperbolic, but we sometimes have a hard time looking outside in. Since we know who we are (maybe), we can fail to understand others discomfort. Not that it's always the case. But you have a better chance at sharing this side of you with an individual that has some positive context with "trans something"

[IamWren]

I inadvertently tested the waters with my SO. Some of you may have heard about the transgender high school student in Missouri (i think it was) who wanted to use the girls locker room before and after gym class. Well that got a discussion going between my wife (who claims to be very liberal and open minded) and me where she said some pretty ugly things. Some of which I'd rather not spell out but let's just say she has very limited, narrow set of circumstances she would be accepting of a transperson.

I even asked about drag queens... "you know guys who do it basically as a means of performing on stage?" She responded by saying she didn't like that and that it creeped her out even more than trans people.

THIS coming from the gal who said I should try wearing women's jeans because they might fit my small frame better (they kinda do), who likes seeing me in my boy-shorts undies and my long tights when we go cycling.

weird huh.

Anyway, my point is I think testing the waters with anyone you might consider coming out to by using conversations about trans issues in the news is a good way to gauge how accepting they might be of CDing.

[Shads_Firehawk]

Telling co-workers is never a good idea. I dropped some very large hints in my younger days and it backfired on me to the point working there was uncmfortable to say the least, so I quit.

[Bobbi46]

It came to a head recently that I could not hold my life as a cd any longer, so I telephoned a close a friend and said that I had something on my mind that I needed to offload and could I go round which I did I carefully outlined my situation gently because I still did not know which way this would go and she said I thought it might be something like this. from there the conversation got quite deep and meaningful at the end of explaining she said how proud she felt that I had chosen her to tell her about my new life. The result of this is that I am more confident in going out but most of all I am now in a more content frame of mind than I was before.
If any of you have a friend like this there is nothing like a feeling of calm afterwards from telling that friend.

[Robin414]

... See line #3 in my signature.

Blue, you are a wise lady, I've often said the same thing!! 😊

Hmmm, Why does that not sound derogatory but being called a 'wise guy'...not so much?

[STACY B]

Take it from this old Fat Girl,, I was sure that when I was younger and didn't know Nothing about all this but I knew something wasn't right for sure. So I thought to myself if I ever told anyone I would tell my sister that was really nice and I was close to she was older and lived with my grandmother , We were separated dam near at birth from a screwed up family to say the least but we still seen each other. I lived with an aunt .

Even when I was younger I wrote her a letter but tore it up for fear of someone else finding it and outing me in the Mans Man world that existed here back in the 70's it wasn't easy and things were way different. Anyway I kept my secrete for most of my life got married and told my wife and she tries to understand the best she can . I finally was changing a bit as far as looks and thought it was time to tell my sister the news before she hears it from someplace else.

Why Not,, She surely would understand, She is the one and only person that knows Me, Stood beside me before marriage and she is understanding and very friendly to all ,, Big in Church and community functions. Very liberal minded and there is No Way she would EVER REJECT her little brother no matter what the circumstances where. One day after church I did tell her,, And Guess What? Just Guess? Yep you got it,, It has been around 2 years since that day and havent TALK TO HER SINCE!!

[Brooke B]

Testing the waters is always the best way but you still have to keep in mind it isn't 100%. For instance my wife loves catlynn jenner and everything she does. She supports her to the max but her acknowledging myself or others like us it isn't nearthat ssupport. So even if you test the water and it seems they're supportive it still could have a different outcome.

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, I use the Need to Know rule. I u r a closet dresser like me.

Early on, I felt the need to tell someone. So, I told an old gf. That did not work out well. Then, years later I had to tell me immediate family or get caught in the act. Which has resulted in a DADT situation.

Need to Know is the best for closet dressers!