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Thread: How comfortable do you feel when out either enfemm or just underdressed

  1. #1
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    How comfortable do you feel when out either enfemm or just underdressed

    My first time out underdressed was nothing short of nervous hell the second time was much better but now the more I go out the more comfortable I am and since getting my forms and presenting a more feminine looking top the happier I am.
    Do you fill happy, content, comfortable or threatened at all when out?

  2. #2
    Junior Member taylormercedes's Avatar
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    I used to be very nervous to the point where I was constantly looking in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect every single second I was out and I would be profusely sweating from my nerves. But as I continued to go out my nervousness has calmed down alot and I van enjoy the experience more. There are still cases were I psych myself out, but they are getting fewer and fewer.

  3. #3
    Member Candice June Lee's Avatar
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    Under dressing bothers me none at all since I been doing it so long.
    Full out in fem I still get nervous and worried. Add I been doing little things now more than I used to, it's been getting better. I once worried about piercing my ears, now except for siblings and parents I don't worry about it. As they are now pierced. Recently the weekend is spent in some women's pants and shirts when we go out on the town and I am letting my hair grow.
    Truthfully I have many fears i am confronting and moving forward with. Bring in the conservative mid south, crossdressing is a bit frowned upon. So I am testing waters here and there out and about.
    Candi
    Perfection Is a Road Not a Destination

  4. #4
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I don't own any male underwear, so underdressing is normal and I don't ever think about it. Fully en femme is largely the same way. If I think about it, I feel euphoric. But usually I don't think about it.

  5. #5
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    Hi Bobbi,

    To answer your question, I feel an internal sense of contentment/happiness when I am out because I have aligned my gender identity with who I am, a woman.

    For most, feeling nervous when going out fully dressed is common place at first. It almost seems as though every fibre in your body screams "This is wrong and people are staring, pointing and laughing! " However in reality you will find that most people either don't notice, don't care or if they do notice it is simple curiosity stares. As you come to realize this and accept it . . . the nervousness slowly dissipates to the point where you begin to wonder why you were nervous to begin with.

    Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to leave you with the false sense it is all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns as there can be rude people who might snicker, point, laugh or say something. So you do need a bit of a thick skin to navigate these waters in the beginning. However once you get past that and your confidence builds, you will care little for the stupidity of a minutia fraction of society who try to make themselves feel big by making fun of things they don't understand.

    Cheers

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    The retired Navy SEAL that transitioned, that did 13 combat missions; somehow I don't think anyone has snickered, laughed or staired at her/..........Wonder Why???????

  7. #7
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    Under dressing never made me nervous, because, well it's under....not readily observable. Most people would never know. I'm pretty much at ease in public, fully enfemme , but then I've been doing this for a long time now, and it's simply everyday life for me.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

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  8. #8
    Junior Member Zoe B's Avatar
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    Like people have said, underdressing is just that and therefore never bothers me. I don't really go out a lot enfemme but I will say the only comment I have ever had about it was from a little girl who was probably about four or five and that was about my shoes....

    Most people are far too busy and self absorbed to notice. There is that insecure element who will make fun but that is usually over quickly and occasionally others will leap to your defence.
    “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
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  9. #9
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I remember when I underdressed the first few times I was nervous. Intellectually I knew that nobody could know and that nobody would care, but emotionally I felt that everyone knew and everyone condemned me. I assume it's a reasonably normal reaction to believe our innermost thoughts are apparent to all, even though we know they aren't. I got over it. Now I dress more openly and care less about other peoples' reactions. But I have that thread of solidarity with everyone who posts about their first underdressing adventure as a momentous occasion. The important thing is not the physical fact, the important thing is the personal bravery involved in pushing that envelope. It doesn't matter how you achieve it, it matter that you achieve it.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by taylormercedes View Post
    I used to be very nervous to the point where I was constantly looking in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect every single second I was out and I would be profusely sweating from my nerves. But as I continued to go out my nervousness has calmed down alot and I van enjoy the experience more. There are still cases were I psych myself out, but they are getting fewer and fewer.
    It all depends on where you go at first, park, shopping, malls. After becoming comfortable out and about,I just don't give it a thought anymore even around family and friends who know the real me.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Ally 2112's Avatar
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    I have underdresed many times and it really did not bother me i just went with it and enjoyed the experience
    I have a hubcap diamond star halo

  12. #12
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    It used to be that getting out the door took almost as long as getting ready for me! I now get ready and go without any hesitation.

  13. #13
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    As with pretty much everyone my first time out was a major struggle. I think it took me almost an hour and trips to three different stores before I could get out of my car. Once I finally psyched myself up, went in and the world didn't blow up, I had to make two more stops!

    I'm working on my second year of going out en femme and occasionally have days when I abort a trip early or can't get myself to get out of the car. It seems to happen more often when I try some new kind of clothes or when some sort of "incident" happens. A good example of that is I once planned out a trip to a grocery store followed by going to a shopping mall. I was on cloud 9 grocery shopping until two elementary school age boys came running down the aisle and almost knocked me over. I called it a day and changed back to male mode! But even now I still get days when all I can't bring myself to do is drive around town.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    As many here have said it does get easier with each outing. Believe it or not I would never thought I would go to Walmart because I thought the mall was easier. So I stayed away from going there, well guess what the last two times I went out, yep went to Walmart without even a thought. It felt great

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    Quote Originally Posted by LeighR View Post
    As many here have said it does get easier with each outing. Believe it or not I would never thought I would go to Walmart because I thought the mall was easier. So I stayed away from going there, well guess what the last two times I went out, yep went to Walmart without even a thought. It felt great
    I'm the exact opposite! I like Walmarts because most have self check out! Despite getting getting dolled up I still shop in guy mode and have problems of going to a store and not actually buying something! I always suspected buying something in the typical shopping mall store would be a chore with the necessary human interaction and my one and only attempt at a Sears was a TOTAL disaster!

  16. #16
    Member SHINY-J's Avatar
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    I always feel very comfortable when I underdress. It's never obvious and i don't purposely wear clothing that reveals that I'm wearing panties or some other type of lingerie. In fact, when I go out for my late night walks, I have everything on I'm going to wear with the exception of my heels or boots, wig, and breast forms which I keep in a backpack. The only thing I have on is a loose fitting zip hoodie, loose fitting sweat pants, and a pair of tennis shoes that I can slip off and on quickly. Just enough to look inconspicuous at first glance if anyone sees me walking out of the neighborhood under a street lamp or if I'm in view of the headlights of a passing car.

  17. #17
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    I've been underdressing for so long I honestly don't remember what I felt like wearing panties out for the first time.

    My first time I went out dressed was just a quick drive to the packy. I wasn't all that nervous. I go out so much now it doesn't really phase me. As long as I'm going somewhere I know I won't run into anyone I know I'm fine. It's waiting in parking lots that make me the most nervous.

  18. #18
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    I have had three fears.
    1) you mom use to say ... what if you get into a accident and ... I would be found out at the Hospital.
    2) and this has happened ... while driving, i saw a accident and quickly went to help the elderly couple who were hit by this girl texting. I was in C size forms, bra and I am sure someone noticed but I just forgot, and
    3) When I forget that I have a jacket and have on problems hiding it in rain gear, but I am in the store Ralphs or Costco and open my jacket because it is getting hot ... I have raised a few eyes.

  19. #19
    0 to trans in 60 seconds! Donnagirl's Avatar
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    I underdress all the time so it just feels normal. As for fully dressed, well I still get just a little nervous before I head out but, that very quickly dissipates and enjoyment settles in... As others have said, practically everyone will not notice, nor care or politely say nothing if you are dressed appropriately. I went shopping today in jeans, sneakers and a top. Even got my nails done without anyone looking like they noticed, or cared.
    If you plan it well, it is a great feeling. It's wonderful validation of the woman I am.
    Call me Donna, please

  20. #20
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    Hi Bobbi,

    I've been underdressing for years both at home and work. If I'm not wearing panties and hose under my clothes I feel uncomfortable. They just feel "Right".

    I don't go out dressed very often but when I do I'm a little scared and excited. Once I'm out though I relax and just go for it. It has always been worth it in the end.

    Good Luck and Enjoy!

    Love,
    Linda W.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    I got a chuckle out of this one. I have never been out en-femme - not even in some androgynous garb but I have been out a number of times underdressed and I love to shop for things for Lacey while underdressed. However, I did recall my first trip out underdressed with a smile. I was wearing a pair of pink PAM nylon hipsters with a lace waistband under a pair of jeans. I went grocery shopping at the local Safeway and I was sure that everyone had X-ray vision. I was worried that people could detect a panty line and I was terrified that if I bent over that counters that some lace would show,
    Needless to say, times have changed

  22. #22
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    Hi Bobbi, Underdressing gives me a very relaxing feeling that is so rewarding.

    When I am out & about I always wonder about the other guys if they are underdressed .
    Last edited by BLUE ORCHID; 09-20-2015 at 07:35 AM.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

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  23. #23
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    linda I feel the same doing more gets easier but somehow I feel more at home as it were when I am wearing forms as well as underdressed. When I first underdressed and went out I somehow did not feel complete with my forms I feel so much more comfortable and complete. But total comfort "out there" is still a little way off.

  24. #24
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    Hey Bobbi, Isha has given a great answer as to how it is with me as well. I've been going out in public for over 30 years, but never felt totally comfortable. Once I finally convinced myself that I am in fact female, I did some things to give me confidence. Lasering my beard has just about removed the only thing that made me self conscious. My shadow would show up just hours after shaving or I had on so much makeup to cover it up that I looked a bit cartoonish.
    HRT has calmed and adjusted my demeanor to the point where I'm happy as my true self and no long worry overtly about my presentation. I just get out and enjoy my true life.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  25. #25
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Underdressed has never been a problem at all for me, totally comfortable.
    More so then when in full guy mode.

    As far as full on dressed out, Always nervous, I have always been very self conscious about my looks
    and going out dressed en-fem, only makes that works. Even though I feel way more comfortable dressed that way.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

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