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Thread: What is the most.....

  1. #1
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    What is the most.....

    After watching Caitlyn Jenner's very public proclamation of celebrating her true self I've just been in a quandary. I feel so empowered with all of the newly trending acceptance that I just want to disclose my transgender existence to everyone.

    But, I won't.

    No matter what anyone wants to think, it's still the dark ages for most of us with broadened gender experience and proclivity.

    So, for me, the most frustrating thing about being transgender is that being my true self to everyone in my life, just wouldn't be truly accepted.

    So, for you, what's the most annoying, frustrating or depressing thing about Knowing that you are transgender?
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  2. #2
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    Most annoying thing is trying to fig are sizes out men and women's body's are not the same so it makes it truly hard to find what fits use lady's right. As fare as frustrating and depression goes has to be not being able to open to any of my family or friends or even make a attempt to leave my house cause of what others would think.

  3. #3
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    I suppose Caitlyn has an income stream from her coming out whereas many here could lose theirs for doing the same.

    I would love to be able to pick my 'gender of the day' and live my life that way, but reality isn't like that for everyone, especially this everyone . Although it is frustrating, I don't get depressed about it as some people live with much greater challenges in life than I, so I count my blessings instead. That last line made me sound very pious (fat chance of that).

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  4. #4
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    I recall a former defense minister for Israel, when asked if he found the pace or absence of progress towards peace to be frustrating. His reply struck a chord with me. He simply said, "I choose not to be frustrated."

    It reminds me still that our emotional reactions to events or circumstances are a choice.

  5. #5
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    Hi Sarla, I don't see an acceptance of us in our lifetime.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    I recall a former defense minister for Israel, when asked if he found the pace or absence of progress towards peace to be frustrating. His reply struck a chord with me. He simply said, "I choose not to be frustrated."

    It reminds me still that our emotional reactions to events or circumstances are a choice.
    I like that quote.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    For me the annoying thing is not being one or the other, male or female.
    I like being male, I'm 6'4" and when you dwarf people or others simply have to look up at you there is a certain aspect of power to it, obviously women can be tall but with broad shoulders and a large frame it is more impressive. As well as being asked to lift heavy things because I'm male, or to walk a friend home for safety, because I'm male gives a level of dependency.

    However there are times when I want to be a girl, to be shorter and have normal measurements such as size 6 or 7 feet. For the most part when I dress I enjoy my time, mentally I half switch over, performing the correct mannerisms and acting differently but there are the times when I think I look ridiculous, or I have the wrong features.

    But the problem lies in that I can't be just one, if I wanted female eyebrows I would have to keep them as male and if I wanted large biceps I'd have to half them as female, I recently wore an off the shoulder top and all I could see were my arm muscles and veins, similarly my hands have quite large veins on them which in male mode is fine but women generally have small, smooth hands. And that's what annoys me, is being caught between a rock and a hard place, eternally
    I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.

  8. #8
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    Carla and reb. I'm with you. The potential loss of those near and dear along with my loss of earnings are too great to risk. I'd appreciate if others don't judge me/us on this, they aren't in our shoes.

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    Carla - I am glad you feel empowered and also agree that personal acceptance of transgender behavior is still difficult to attain. Unfortunately, it will continue to be risky to disclose our secrets and innermost identities. I do not feel annoyed, frustrated or depressed. I try to enjoy and accept what freedoms and abilities to express myself that I have.

  10. #10
    Silver Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    I just want to disclose my transgender existence to everyone...I hear you Carla.

    But not practical to me. I have revealed to crossdressers in my support group--no problem there. But a co-worker, brother, daughter, wife--not so much--not very supportive. A lot actually depends on having a warm, social, likable personality. I am quiet and shy. More studious than outgoing. Not sure I want to talk about my secret to anyone else. Well, except for the very friendly sales clerks I have met.

  11. #11
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    By far the most frustrating thing for me is that I would prefer to dress as Raychel every minute I am home.
    But knowing that my family would really rather not see it is very frustrating.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  12. #12
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Carla I agree there are many days I just want to open up and let the family and friends in on this part of me, not so I can dress 24/7 cause I would not but so I would be more comfortable with this TG stuff.
    Like you though many just would not get it and dare say never speak to me again so I understand

  13. #13
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    It can get expensive in time, money, and relatives/friends.

  14. #14
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    I vote for potential loss of respect by my peers, sad but true? 😕

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    The most depressing thing for me is not being able to find people like me in my area,or even within an hours drive. Being on this site is all well and good but I'd sure like to just get together with others for drinks or dinner and just be able to talk.

  16. #16
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    A few things...good question Carla....I can't come out because I am in Financial services and we don't allow CD's, Gays , trans or women....of course we have tons of those people in my business we just call them all men! lol I just couldn't sacrifice all I worked for just to come as a CD, if I was trans maybe but not for being a CD sorry

    I don't think Caitlyn having money is the boon everyone things it is. She can't leave her house without hiding in trunk or something...Ill pass personally. Everyone has their cross to bear

    What do I want...someone to love me so much they truly accept and love me for me. I know my wife loves me but she sure wishes my CDing would do away...I wish just one person loved me in totality...now I am sure this is hard under any circumstance...but it is what I want!
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  17. #17
    Junior Member laurenp245's Avatar
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    I definitely agree with several of the above answers, not being able to open up to everyone in my life is the hardest thing about being CD/TG. I so badly want to share this part of myself with the people I care about the most, and presently only my wife knows (she loves it BTW), but I am so terribly afraid of negative reactions that it keeps me from doing so. Even with people in my life who I am almost positive would accept it, I keep it a closely guarded secret and I am sure that the reason is I just fear I have to much to lose if the information spread beyond the circle I would like for it to be contained within.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah-RT View Post
    For me the annoying thing is not being one or the other, male or female...
    I also very much resonate with this quote from Sarah, I very much feel the same way. It feels a bit like being born between the two genders. Mostly, I absolutely love feeling like I can express myself as either gender at any given moment but there are times where that dysphoria kicks in and I don't feel like I match up well with either gender and that can sometimes be troubling. All-in-all, I am glad I was born this way as it has given me a unique perspective on the world for which I am grateful.

    <3 Lauren

  18. #18
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarlaWestin View Post
    what's the most annoying, frustrating or depressing thing about Knowing that you are transgender?
    Knowing that it's a turn off for almost all women is what does it to me. It's hard enough in this world, trying to find someone compatible with us. When you add crossdressing, it's like trying to run through a pit of chest deep mud. In the dark. With our ankles chained together. In the snow. While listening to someone play sitar music off key.
    Just frustrating as can be. But I try not to let it bother me. Life could always be worse. I could be a blind, deaf, crippled crossdresser.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    What I have found so far is an amazing amount of acceptance I have been going out underdressed for a little while which boosted my confidence but now I also go out with bra and forms as well. The number of people that do not notice is quite amazing but also several acquaintances of mine who did not know I cd but found out when they then saw me have completely accepted me as I am.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Carla,
    I agree with you completely. I think most of us who have spent any time in "men's world" have heard the chuckles and snide comments from time to time whether it was about Caitlyn Jenner or drag queens on Jerry Springer. So we know what "men's world" thinks of us. Similarly, while "women's world" might not be so crude about it, I think it is generally accepted that most women don't have crossdressers on their list of most appealing people (more specifically, as mates). Sp, as a result, most of us crossdressers have spent a lifetime building our careers, our marriages and our social relationships around our male persona - I know I have. I don't have the millions of dollars and the Hollywood connections like Caitlyn to throw myself into the loving plastic arms of the Movie Star Bubble where everything is so wonderful and no one dares criticize anyone else. I still have to live with my family who I would choose not to embarrass, I have to live in my community and my social and professional relationships would suffer. So, long story short, yes, someday - far away from home and anonymously, I would love to get together with other crossdressers to share experiences and enjoy dressing as I would like to but until then, I will keep life in balance and Lacey will stay in the closet where she belongs.

  21. #21
    Shoe Addict Paula J's Avatar
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    Well, I am not transgendered. I am just a CD. But for me, the most frustrating thing is buying shoes. I don't dress in public. And I am not at all comfortable trying on women's shoes in a store. Usually I can buy a size 10 and they work ok. But occasionally they don't.

    But that is just a minor pet-peeve. What really frustrates me, is these ridgid rules that society has pounded into everyone's consciousness. Men have to look and dress like this. And only women can wear makeup or paint their nails. Or whatever. God, I just hate that. I just wish everyone could do what they want. Wear what they want. Be whoever they want to be without being judged. Actually, being judged is one thing. But how many of us would have our lives destroyed if we just openly did what we want to do? How many people are on depression meds? How many people are suffering alone without the help and support they so desperately need, just because we have a society that is so cruel?? It just breaks my heart to think about it.

  22. #22
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    For me the most annoying or frustrating and depressing thing about knowing that I am Transgender is that I cannot always be open to everyone that I know and that I have to live double lives with some people. I have some very religious folks in my family and I feel like if I am honest with them they will want nothing to do with me even though that might not even be really true but that is the mind games that I play with myself.

    As with Caitlyn Jenner's proclamation of celebrating her true self I think its easier for people that have money and don't have to work if they don't want to, she doesn't have to worry about getting fired from a job or get that treatment, when you have money you pretty much can get away with whatever you want and live however you want. If I won a million dollars I would spend it all on transforming my body from male to total female in every single possible way.

  23. #23
    Member Brooke B's Avatar
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    The most frustrating thing for me is to want to meet more friends. In public but not being able to. Wanting to open up to my family so they can understand me better. My immediate family is not very understanding at all. Maybe the in laws but how do you table that conversation when the wife isn't 100% on board with it either.

  24. #24
    Junior Member kelseygal's Avatar
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    The most frustrating thing? Knowing that I am stuck in the CD closet for the foreseeable future. Honestly hearing the way my friends/family talk about Caitlyn, I best head so far back in the closet that I end up in Narnia. It is really sad to me that people are so weird about crossing gender lines *sigh* I may get out to play here and there, but certainly not as much as I would prefer. It's hard finding fool proof places to 'hide' my kit, limits the outfit options for sure!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarlaWestin View Post
    So, for you, what's the most annoying, frustrating or depressing thing about Knowing that you are transgender?
    Actually, I don't have an answer right now. However, in about 2 weeks I will out myself in front of 200-250 people. Might have an answer at that point...

    DeeAnn

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