Trying to understand TS

[Rachael Leigh]

Today I've seen a few new threads about some here and one GG who's husband is going to transition and it all began with them knowing and sure they were just a CD. I just don't get that don't get me wrong I admire those who admit this but with all the pitfalls of going thru process why put yourself thru it?
I have enough issues being a CD when it comes to family or friends of not wanting them to know or just hide it. Is this a new movement that society is going thru because it's now more acceptable since it's now in the news. I really don't think I will ever be one to go this route and I really want to understand those who feel this is their only choice but still have a hard time with it.
I'm happy with my male self but do enjoy my feminine part but 24/7 it's hard to get my head around
Leigh

[Princess Chantal]

I accepted the fact that I will never understand women! So I don't wrack my mind in doing so

[Lorileah]

obvious you don't understand being a TS. Why do you think we do this for fun? Not doing it to avoid "issues"? Clearly you don't have any idea.

Is your question how does an avowed CD decide they are TS? Or do you think that there is a choice where you are on the scale? So many times here CDs complain that the Ts keep saying "you'll change your mind" when we all know we don't. You are what you are. Yes, some, including me, have had to grow into that position. Trust me, many TSs wish they didn't have the "issues" either, but we don't get to pick and choose. Sure we can hide or submerge any thoughts we have of becoming the person we are, but that rarely ends well. Someone gets hurt. Sometimes they even die.

I am very happy you love your male part and life. You should be happy in life then, yes? Personally my male life or part was a sham or something I wished didn't exist. Great, you don't want the issues, bravo. You evidently don't have to have them to be happy with your life.

Is it a new movement? a cause Du Jour? The new "thing to be"? If that's how you see it, I am truly sorry for you. Keeping it from the family? Really hard to do when you are transitioning. But you can by simply stepping into your phone booth and becoming "Joe Suburb"

] why put yourself thru it?

I will gladly listen to your alternative idea because I would love to live a life with no issues

[MelanieAnne]

I've been CDing all my life, but never considered transitioning. I don't know much about it, but I've done some reading. And it seems that they cannot help but cut some rather important nerves down there. I cannot imagine how it would feel waking up from the surgery, and feeling all numb down in the important parts. And then being told it is irreversible. Just my take on it.

[Lorileah]

Please....have you not done ANY research on this? Where do you get your information?

I give up

[Rachael Leigh]

Thanks everyone for your imputs I really was feeling like I just didnt understand enough about those who go the route of HRT and and the like and while I know there is a lot of places to go out there where I can get info I felt I had a great place here to ask and understand. I still struggle with my own part of this TG/CD world and Im glad I have a place to share and ask questions.
Sandra yes I thought this might not be the right place for this thread so I do apologize, it hit me just as I hit post.
Leigh

[arbon]

I think it is a good place for it.

Being ts was not a progression for me. Transitioning was though as the different ways I coped failed.

[PaulaQ]

The idea that there is some type of spectrum or progression where your presentation suggests your probability of transition is a popular one here, but it is absolutely baseless.

It's neat to put someone like me who was apparently a fetish dresser at one end of the scale, and someone like Isha at the other end of the scale. Except for one small detail. I went from "stocking fetish" to "transition or die" in about six months. Isha plugged away at fully presenting as female quite a long time before starting her transition. You'd think the severity of our gender dysphoria would be predicted by the extent of our dressing, but in fact it's quite the opposite. Isha joined about the time I started my transition. I'd joined the site 6 months prior, and when I joined, I wore stockings and panties, and that was it. In the two years following, Isha has come out as being TS, while I've gone through HRT, electrolysis, breast augmentation and GRS. (This isn't a race, just pointing out that our presentation proved nothing about our need for, or pace of transition.)

At most CDing is like the tip of the ice berg - the important part of the iceberg isn't what you can see, it's what's below the surface that really matters.

[MelanieAnne]

I don't see how they can avoid cutting some important nerves during the transition surgery. I cannot imagine the feeling waking up from the surgery and feeling numb down there, and being told it is irreversible.

[Lorileah]

OK once again I ask...where did you get your information? You obviously haven't researched any of this.

OK, here goes. One, you don't lose anything but the erectile tissue and your testicles. We get to keep most of it. And surprise we are sensate! We have feeling. We can orgasm. We can feel contact.

It isn't irreversible. It may be difficult but it has been reversed. Not really much different that a Female to Male Transsexual would be. Name the important nerves...please. Because if the surgeon cuts those I wanna know about it. The femoral nerve? The sciatic nerve? Sorta not the plan.

You have a whole site here with all the information you could ever use if you would just search. The site doesn't just cater to the crossdressers.

You don't want GRS (SRS) AWESOME, you don't need to get it. It isn't castration. It doesn't leave a "giant hole" like I was told yesterday by someone who has no idea.

Contrary to popular belief we don't have a quota to change men into women....well not after you get 5 anyway. We aren't contagious. The clothes aren't magic and make you a fairy tale princess.

If you are a fetish dresser, bless you, have fun, enjoy your kink and please be safe. If you are androgynous, swell blend into the crowd and have fun. If you are a crossdresser, terrific, wear the dress, shave your legs (or don't), pretend that you're a woman for an hour then go back to what you were doing. We support you. But please, don't wonder why we aren't like you. We don't wonder why you don't jump on the HRT bandwagon. Although we may question why you would think it would be a lark. If you love your boy part then by all means enjoy it!

Let me try and explain this again. Transsexuals don't do this for fun, we do this to survive and be who we are. We don't miss our boy parts because we still get to keep most of them. We don't end up eunuchs. We have known most of our lives who we are and we are just heading in that direction. Unfortunately up until a very few years ago we were considered mentally ill. If you aren't a TS but you like dressing, that is marvelous. But don't think we chose to be who we are and we certainly didn't chose to be what we are. On this railroad, you don't have to go the same station I am going to.

Please, do a search or read the Transsexual boards. Read about GRS on the web. Watch videos if need be. You don't have to join our club. But rush is next week so...

[Slipstream]

I can understand that there are those who truly believe that they are a woman in a man's body. I dress because it's something I enjoy in my downtime and thank God I have an accepting wife. Hence, no drama. The group I don't understand are those want to crossdress 24/7 but have no interest in transitioning. To me, dressing 24/7 would slowly erode the enjoyment of "enjoying In Moderation". I'm not trying to badmouth anyone but we are all at least a little different here. Some find it better to post on a forum than to research. No need to be harsh with the OP who is just trying to understand.

[Lorileah]

Slip,why do you need to understand what others do? I don't agree with surgery or hormones just because someone thinks it would be a kick, but I am not going to try and analyze why they think that way, when I don't even know why anyones thinks the way they do.

I admire those who admit this but with all the pitfalls of going thru process why put yourself thru it?

sort brings up the idea that we TSs make a conscious decision no? That we could, or should, just dress and be happy about it. The response to research was in regard to the false and misleading information about the surgery, not the OP.

[Confucius]

I've enjoyed reading this thread and thought I'd add my own perspective to the mix.

Gender identity depends upon three factors; (1) the physical morphology (penis or vagina), (2) the chromosomes/genes (X,Y=male, X,X=female), and the brain (males and females have distinct neural networks). In most cases these three factors are in agreement, however, they don't have to be in agreement. For instance, you can have a genetic male (X,Y chromosomes) who will have a defect in the SRY gene of the Y-chromosome. This condition will make the person appear as a normal female (with vagina, breasts, etc), however he/she will be sterile. They usually don't know they are genetic males until they question why they don't have a menstrual period and see a physician who determines that they are genetic males.

Similarly, researchers using magnetic resonance tomography can perform brain scans and see the neural networks in real time. Simply by observing the brain scan they can determine if they are seeing a male or female brain by the activity of their neural networks. However if they observe the neural network activity of a transgender person the pattern will somehow be between male and female. Crossdressing is a biological condition hardwired into the brain. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0107082133.htm

The crossdressing spectrum covers a wide field and it should include TS. The extent that we pursue our crossdressing, and even transitioning, reflects the extent of our neural network's gender identification. What works for one may seem completely out of the question to another - why? Because our brain's neural networks are different.

Personally, i am content just being a man in a dress.

[Joe Ann Miles]

Hi.

Just love Your Patience Lorileah. :-)

[Thea Pauline]

Please, do a search or read the Transsexual boards. Read about GRS on the web. Watch videos if need be. You don't have to join our club. But rush is next week so...

You're bound and determined to see G & T come out my nose aren't you! See what I did there?

[Tina_gm]

I don't know if it is for anyone to truly understand other than those who are TS. Cis gender people will never be able to understand any of it, TS or CD, because there truly is no point of reference. CDers will never understand TS, but I also think TS will never understand CDers. I can imagine them thinking either, why bother if you are only going to switch back in a few hours or a few days, or, why go through going back at all.... They are likely no more able to understand what it is like to feel connected to both genders, as they are only connected to the opposite gender of their birth.

I recall some TS members talking about how their genitalia and its functioning causes them anxiety or anguish, or some other profound negative experience. I can understand someone who may feel it worth it to be on HRT, for feminizing, or for emotional effects of it, sort of like SSRI meds in a sense, but I cannot understand how what I feel would cause someone to feel the anguish or anxiety or whatever else. My enjoyment of intimacy as it is is a big part of why I don't go on HRT.

I think both for our S/O's, and ourselves, many of the TS members had a path that started a lot like ours. That can be confusing and perhaps scary. We come to a point where we are more, or mostly fulfilled with our dressing, enough to make life decent or bearable, so why go through all of what they do?

Addressing what Paula Q said about her sexuality as being fluid, I think that there very well may be similarities to gender fluidity. Not in a connection of sexuality and gender, but of how one can feel or be both. I can walk in a mall, and have both men's and women's sections be interesting, attractive, call out to me kind of thing. My own dual/fluid gender thing, I guess I can describe it as at times, two people sitting in a car, neither wants to ride shotgun. Then other times, one is ok with the other driving... but both are present, in the car at all times.

[AbigailJordan]

Sue got it pretty much right. Just as there are a few CD's who are actually on the path to realising they wish to transition, there are many who knew from an early age and it manifested not as a desire to dress but a desire to change and become truly who they felt they were.

You will find that the stories of log term cd'ers deciding to transition is actually quite rare. For many it is merely a non binary gender issue where even as males, their feeling of femininity falls much further along the line. I think it's difficult for a lot of people to grasp that you can't use a single spectrum to encompass all of us. Imagine more if you will, a split spectrum, with "normal male" at one end.. (societies stereotype of a male that is), at that end, you start to get the "fetish" types as it were (again societies.. and it appears the view of some TS girls), the HPW's and stocking lovers etc.. Then the spectrum splits along the TS line and the none TS line.. the start of the former MAY be CD'ing, but it may not, the start of the latter is usually an increased CD'ing activity, so they may or may not run in tandem, but the further along the spectrum you go, the bigger the difference between a non transitioner and a true TS will become.

This is why it seems so unusual for a long term CD'er who stated she was happy with that to make the difficult leap across to the other path. As I said, some girls know from very early on.. some either aren't sure, or choose to avoid the possibilities.. the only thing for certain, if you are TS, then one day you will realise it and after that, nothing can really stop you from striving for that match between physical and emotional gender.

[Katey888]

Leigh - well done for being prepared to ask and then being prepared to listen in an effort to understand...

Lori - well done for not giving up...

The TS forum is there to be read by all who are prepared to broaden their understanding... 'nuff said on this subject.

Katey x

[Rachael Leigh]

Lorieah I really appreciate your perspective and yes that's why I am asking, as I said for me I have enough issues trying to figure out why I enjoy women's clothes and presenting as a women in public.
As I said I do admire those who have made what must be a very difficult decision. I'm just trying to understand as the title says

[TrishaTX]

I think everyone is different while I "stay" a CD it is by choice and life decision.Someone who transition, that is the path for them and I admire it. The best part of this country and being a human is choice....and hopefully with more acceptance we should all be able to choose who we are. I think yeah of us, knows inside who and what we are...getting there is at the hard part.

[Robin414]

Not trying to throw another log on the fire but from the perspective of a 'tween' (more than CD but not TG), it's NOT a choice, it's how you were literally conceived! Not like you were given a checklist to fill out before your parents did the deed...OK, I wanna be full on boy, dark hair, blue eyes, etc, etc. As Lorileah suggests, do some research on the topic, it can get pretty technical at times but in the end it just plain comes down to bio-physics...laws of society are mere recommendations, but laws of physics, EVERYONE obeys those!

[Rachael Leigh]

One thing I must confess I have in the past struggled with my own if I was TS question but that was very many years ago and of course when there was not as much info on it. Over theses last few years Ive come to what I think is a good place in my dressing by accepting that its not likely to go away to where I am now is this going to be it for me or do I want or need more.
I honestly dont feel as if Im somehow trapped in the wrong body but there is something about being dressed and being out dressed that does change me and so I always think if this was what I wanted all the time. I really enjoy being dressed but there are times I just need my guy time and I think thats what slows me down and I understand I am just a guy who has a strong fem side and Im ok with that.
Its a difficult balance but having this group has been good for me and again thanks.
Leigh

[PaulaQ]

I'm going to break it down for you to be really simple. Really, really simple.

There are only a couple of questions, that you need to answer to decide whether or not you need some form of transition. They are really simple questions:
1. Am I a man, or am I a woman?
2. Can I continue to live my life as I live it now, or must I change.

All of this "trapped in the wrong body", "always knew since I was 15 minutes old," etc. is just not the key issue.

The only issues that matter, at the end of the day are:
- who are you?
- what are you going to do about it?

BTW, identifying as partly male, and partly female is a possibility. However, knowing people like that, in a lot of ways, this is harder. People have trouble understanding someone like me, and I'm simple - I'm a girl. That's it - end of story. There are all sorts of social conventions for a person like me - a woman. Same thing for men.

There is no social model or template for someone who's neither male nor female, is both, or fluidly shifts between them. There is little medical support for such people either. It only seems easier, because there is this temptation to think "I can keep my stuff / my wife / my life!" This is the wrong thing to focus on, even if it ends up being true. The key thing is to be honest, and to be true to yourself, whatever that means.

Know who you really are, and be who you are.

[Slipstream]

Thank You Isha. Well said.

[pamela7]

There are only a couple of questions, that you need to answer to decide whether or not you need some form of transition. They are really simple questions:
1. Am I a man, or am I a woman?
2. Can I continue to live my life as I live it now, or must I change.
Know who you really are, and be who you are.

Easier asked than answered, and just like perhaps a CD cannot understand a full TS, can the full TS understand the fluid/nongendered?

What if one has so suppressed this within oneself, in soul-service to others, that only only knows or discovers later in life? Donna in particular, and Isha to some extent, most closely speak to my own experience. I don't actually want to ask myself the man/woman question, I'm a human. What am I going to do about it? I'm happy in female clothing, and get angry in male clothing, so it does not take a genius to realise what that implies. People feel unthreatened with me in a dress, and definitely seem scared of me when I'm in male mode. I know what that also implies. I hate shaving, would love to not have the beard. I know what that implies. I also prefer female company, always have, and never understood the male fighting-testeronic world, and I know what that implies. I also know my soul-father sees me as a male soul, and I know that once a male has evolved enough it can become a female in the next life. So when I say I'm a man in a dress and happy like that, I am. But maybe I'm still not aware or accepting of a real gender identity because it never crossed my mind, I just didn't fit society as the male. In summary, it aint so easy Paula.

xxx Pamela