Adriana, your 3-month cycle theory has no merit, and I'll tell you why in my next post, around mid-December. haha
Adriana, your 3-month cycle theory has no merit, and I'll tell you why in my next post, around mid-December. haha
Most other forums allow you to like or up-vote someone's post, it's just an easy way to say I agree with what you said. Many a time I have liked what someone has written but am not about to add a post to say that.Originally Posted by Suzie Petersen
With regard to people falling off the map, perhaps the forum managed to (or not) fulfil its purpose and they have moved on.
This site fulfills a specific purpose for everyone who comes here. But it is, for specific reasons, very strictly regulated. Many people are eventually bored or irritated by all the rules.... And especially since Facebook provides a faster more convenient and far more liberated interface as well as access to a much larger portion of the TG community.
IRL younger TG are mainstreaming and skipping the older support groups. And so those groups, one by one, are experiencing loss of membership and slowly withering away.
I know not all people like FB, and many are afraid that f it, but the range of contacts and the flexibility of interface certainly are liberating
Every fear that held me back, when faced, has proven to be hollow.
Courage is not the lack of fear, but the willingness to ignore it.
It's your life. Make it count.
Perhaps they got what they wanted out of coming here and they got the support and the advice they were looking for. Perhaps some left because of other situations that happen that weren't so good. usually forums for ladies like us have members that come and go, hopefully I can stick around for awhile
I'm sure the ones we don't see here anymore simply reached the "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt" stage.
Great topic Alice, I think a number of reasons myself. ..novelty wears off, some find '3D' circles to belong to, and regrettably I imagine some of our friends here pass on as well 😢
A few reasons I can think of. 1. Some just died. A lot of us are in the 'danger zone', we're over 40, and so can drop at any moment. 2. Some come here in hopes of finding an answer to how to deal with it, how to find a CD friendly woman, and, upon finding out that the chances are so slim, simply give up. Most of the threads here tend to repeat themselves; just look at all the old locked threads, and you'll see that. 4. Others are curious, perhaps seeking a way to convince a wife, GF or other woman that they're really straight and that they're crossdressing won't compromise thier (her) life. When they find out that it's not that which is the biggest problem, but how a woman feels about a guy who suddenly seems to lose his masculinity, that can be disheartening as well. Perhaps others see the writing on the wall, and decide to try to quit, and never come back. Under the right circumstances, some of us will be able to do that. And last, some will simply tire of discussing it, and just go back to their lives living in the closet, making the most of whatever their lives have to offer.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Most people come here looking for answers or some kind of connection. For some it may be like a new relationship where everything is new (forum) and exciting and like many relationships after awhile those feelings may start to dissipate or wear off somewhat and so being active on here for them may start to feel more like work or something to keep up with. This may explain some of them. There are some relationships where people commit to keeping the excitement alive and continually "work it" and that may be similiar to how and why some remain active here for years and even a decade or more. I personally feel that its very rewarding to hear stories from newcomers and offer advise, soak up wisdom from the vets, and get to know the various people in this community. Just out of curiosity is there a page that lists all the registered members on here, that would be kinda neat.
BTW what color are your panties and do you like pantyhose or garters?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Karren is still around I see her on face book.
I happen to know that this problem has become quite active on this forum. Sure there are some strict rules on this forum to keep the traffic moving, but tracking down Cyber Bullies is not one of them appearently! Fine, respectable people have been run off do to the fact they don't agree with your point of view. Now this is different than correcting misstated facts or trying to educated a person with a misinformed belief. But running off people just because they say your way stinks or its not being done the way most of us are doing it, is Cyber Bullying.
A professor I had in college used to use a story he picked up from an internationally known professor he had when he was in school. "Facts are things that remain true until proven wrong. You need true facts to build your car, but there is more than one road to Chicago from here". In other words, your way is not the only way to a goal.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!
This forum has a broad cross section. Once someone's interest becomes a little more specific, there are sites better suited to those specific interests. I see some on the makeup boards, the skirts boards, the boob boards, etc.. Also, we tend to be a bit of an older group. The young girls seem to drop in and out of here pretty quickly. They live in a different world than most of us.
I really miss some of the girls who used to be here all the time and have disappeared altogether. Kathi Lake comes to mind. I still check on TxKimberley's blog. Karren was such a favorite of all of us. It's a lot less fun around here without these girls.
Kathi Lake disappeared so quickly I worried about her. Seemed like one day she was flitting around all over town in her tiny little dresses (She's like a size zero), then nothing.
Kathi, if you're out there....!
Maybe the ladies haven't gone away, maybe they mostly lurk. Sometimes one of the girls that I haven't seen in a long time will contribute to a thread that they feel needs addressed, they have gone into their quiet stage for the time being.
I have been here a number of years myself, and I have wondered where many of our members went, also. I am especially glad to hear Karren Hutton is still around. I have wondered where Texas Kimberly went too. Both of those members added lots to the information younger members needed.
Not only have they gone, but many more have left for varied reasons I know, but it feels like I have lost family.
I must add, that sometimes, people on this site , who are damaged people, have suffered abuse from family and others, leave , when people are just inconsiderate and mean on here, at times. A lot of us have been emotionally and mentally tortured, and really don't want to add more, and just leave.
I know that Kathi, Karren and Kimberly were among my favorite contributors to the site. I'm sure that wherever they're at, they know we're here for them with welcoming arms. Ladies... If you're lurking... Hello! Hope all is well 😊
yep wondered what happened with Kathi Lake as well, always enjoyed her stories
Perhaps it has something to do with the letter K.
Perhaps a better question is why don't more of us just move on? I don't know the answer to that one either.
Hi Alice, Every day I click on ( Calendar ) at the top of the forum and go through the birthday list and wish the active members
A very special Happy Birthday, I look at the join date and last activity It's amazing some are only active for one day or
a couple months.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Amen, Amen and Amen!!!
To be quite honest, I deciided to leave last week after some really hurtful comments were directed at me - some of which I probably deserved, but there was so much piling on! Then out of the blue a few girls who were total strangers came to my defense, and I decided to stay for now. This really is a great group, and sometimes we don't realize how deep negative comments cut, it was a real lesson to me.
hi Alice. I'm curious that you focus on so many negative reasons for the Vanishings.
In my own case I have simply lost the fire, the fixation, which I had for crossdressing for about a year. I still wear the underwear, it seems that will never quit. But it just isn't practicable to dress up in my daily life, and I don't need it badly enough to do as some do, get up early, put it all on then take it all off...I can't be bothered! But I still love to look at women's fashions, occasionally wear an item around the house, and very much enjoy checking new posts on the forum, though I only contribute a fraction of what I did.
I've been very interested to see your own emergence into the public realm, for instance.
Hugs, Nikki
I used to have a short attention spa
Alice - I know you have a tough time but I think Nikki's right, it's not always a negative reason that folk leave... or mortality, hopefully...
People move on in life, with their passions or their condition - whatever their motivation is for coming here and joining in is probably related to whether they find what they need and then stay or go... I know if my circumstances were different it would have been difficult to stay around for more than a year, but I continue to learn more about our shared nature that helps me with my self-acceptance and understanding, and if I can put back a little at the same time as doing that - and perhaps crack a corny joke or two on the way, then I feel it's worth it and making a difference to those who are genuinely struggling with how to manage their condition or situation (and maybe Karren just ran out of corny jokes..?)
I know some people struggle with the rules when they first join here - apparently the internet for them is best used when every other word is an expletive and abuse and hounding is a normal way of life... they don't stay long - but most get used to it, and we all get a few slaps on the way (yes - mods and admins still make mistakes...
On Cyber-Bullies... (said with best Public Information Announcement voice) All members have the ability to report anything that they feel contravenes the rules - few people seem to do this as I suspect we all like to feel that we can fight our own corner, but we do take action against the worst incidences if our oh-so slightly Draconian rules get breached... But this is a forum for discussion and debate too - if you broadcast an opinion you always have to be prepared that someone may offer a counterpoint for debate... It's a tough balance...
Now go and think positive thoughts... we're all still here...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Easy: All dressed up, and no place to go. While I'm not crazy about the censorship around here, I really don't want to discuss having sex and romantic relationships with guys, which I have found to be a pretty common topic on other boards and newsgroups. OTOH, the variety of personalities we have here is one of the reasons I stay.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Nikki, and Katey, My first girlfriend ended her life, shortly after one of my long time school buddieds hung himself after his wife left him, and a dear friend's gay ex marine son ended his life. i am personally affected when i see people vanish, and i have been moments from ending my own pain, a number of times. I agree that not all the disappearences are negatives! Maybe they move on to better things, don't feel the need to be here anuymore. Who the heck knows? I suffer form emotional/mental illness, and even today, felt like ending it all, as i had a very stressful confrontation with my sister, when i can't understand her speech, and she blew up, and almost assaulted me. This extremely sicko family is enough to drive anyone to drinking, or worse. If only i had the money to move far away, but i am broke. My tramatized life experience, has made me more sensitive to people in crisis. I do not relate well, to people with more stable lives.
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