Confidence dented.............but not destroyed

[Michelle 78]

Hey Ladies,

Just want to tell you about what happened to me this morning,

I had a few things to buy from the supermarket and as I do quite a lot I decided that Michelle would be doing the shopping, so I wrote myself a shopping list as normal and started to think about what to wear, this can take some time sometimes but today I knew that I wanted to wear my new skirt that I bought last week and I teamed it up with black tights, black flats, nice top, leather jacket and I took an hour to do my makeup and hair then checked myself in the mirror more than a few times to make sure I was ok then when I was happy grabbed my bag and walked out of the door. It was a nice morning today so I thought I'd enjoy the fresh air and walk to the supermarket as I had my flats on it wouldn't be a issue.

So I got away from home onto the main road and started my 10 minute walk to the supermarket, I passed a few people no funny looks or anything and I felt pretty confident in myself and was enjoying being a woman out and about, but then here's the but.......as I walked along a saw around 6 young lads on bicycles heading my way on the pavement, I thought to myself this might not be good because as you girls know young lads are not shy to speak their mind. As they got closer and they looked different ages, one looked around 15 and the rest were any age up to 19 I would say, I thought to myself just don't flinch and keep walking and you'll be ok, but I had a feeling that something was going to happen. As they approached me one of them said "Now then lass" I didn't look at him and kept going and as they passed me I heard another one say something about my outfit and another say "that's a lad dressed as a lass!!" at this point I was a bit scared because I know what happened to poor Isha not so long ago and 6 onto 1 would be a no win for me as they were younger than me as well.Thankfully they kept going, but I know only too well that things could have gotten ugly very quickly as in my town girls like us are not exactly welcomed with open arms and if this had been at night and nobody was around I could have been seriously beaten up or worse.

After they went past I walked for a little bit longer and turned around to see if they had gone, thankfully they had. I stopped, I was feeling a bit frighted to be honest and I must admit girls I thought about going home right away as my confidence was at zero now after what they had said, I felt very exposed and like everyone was going to make me, but I knew that if I gave in and went home, when would Michelle dare to go out again? maybe never!! So I said to myself stuff them!! who are they to judge me?? it's my life and I'll live it as I want!! So I turned around again and headed for the supermarket. When I got there I still felt a bit exposed and like everyone would make me and the place was packed too on a Saturday morning, but I grabbed myself a shopping trolley and walked in, got everything on my shopping list including some makeup and headed for the self serve tills, they were really busy and I waited behind and older couple scanning their things, they were around 70 I would say and they were having a bit of trouble with scanning their shopping. Then lady was scanning the things and suddenly the man turned to me and said "I'm really sorry love, I'm not very good at using this machine" I replied in my best Michelle voice "that's ok, I'm not in a rush" they finished up finally and as they were walking away he turned again and said "sorry again love, bye" and said again "that's ok" and they went, I started scanning my goods and then around 5 students waited behind me, this wouldn't normally bother me but as my confidence had been knocked I was a little jumpy and I rushed a bit, and I did the worst thing us girls can do I kept looking down because I was scared of being made, but they didn't bat an eye, I sorted my things out, bagged everything and headed for the door. I put the trolley away and started off for home and I'm pleased to say nothing else happened.

So the moral of the story is don't let these people win, be yourself, it's your life and why should we live our lives as others say we should?? My confidence has been knocked back a bit, but it won't stop me, even though like poor Isha it could have been a lot worse.

Michelle