My mother (in her 60's) is coming over for a visit this Christmas and I'm thinking about letting her know about my cross dressing. I'm really close with my mom as she has helped me get through some of the toughest times of my life and I trust her but I'm not sure if this might be too much. We're already separated by the Pacific and I get to see her maybe once every 2-3 years at best. I started cross dressing only a little over a year ago and was a typical little boy growing up; into sports and the outdoors, preferring comic books and shoot 'em up video games to dolls and tea sets. She has no idea that I enjoy wearing a dress and heels and never had ANY clue that I had tried on her lipstick or pantyhose once or twice when I was a teenager. I know my mother is reasonably open-minded as I have step-sister who came out as a lesbian and my mom didn't bat an eyelash, but I have a suspicion that when it's her blood and because cross dressing is a different kettle of fish to same-sex relationships, her reaction could be different. There won't be threats of getting disowned or insults thrown, and I highly doubt she'd "out" me to anyone even if she disapproved, what I'm terrified of would be her possible disappointment, a greater distance developing between us than just geography or even worse an awkward silence/avoidance that possibly affects my daughters' relationship with their grandmother. It's also quite possible that my mom accepts the situation and I end up with tremendous supporter and someone whom I could finally confide in (I respect and appreciate everyone on this site, but we all know it's different when it's family) as my wife is still adjusting to my journey of self-discovery and worries about the consequences to our family should I ever get accidentally 'outed' or decide to go public (I'd lose my job for sure) and more people knowing about my cross dressing increases the risk. I know have to discuss this with my wife before doing anything of course but how I start that conversation is an even more daunting proposition as we are DADT at the moment.
I can pack my clothes and shoes away for a few weeks, say nothing and maintain the status quo. I can leave my stuff where it is and choose to deflect or fess up should it be discovered. I can take a chance and either find myself adrift and isolated from my family or with a shoulder I can lean on and an ear to bend. As the holidays creep closer I'm getting increasingly nervous about the whole thing and hope to arrive at some kind of decision before I drive myself nuts (well technically even MORE nuts than I already am!)
Any advice and/or experience in this matter would be greatly appreciated.