Still dressing up as a woman at the age of 57

[Jennifer Voxxx]

I'm a single man, never married, not had many girlfriends, but crossdressing has more or less ruled my life for over 50 years.

I started aged 4 or 5 dressing up in my sister's clothes and then when I got to my mid teens (about 16), I started buying clothes for myself at charity shops. And boy that was so embarrassing.

There weren't many catalogues out back then so there was not the choice we have now.

I would say being a crossdresser has sort of ruined my life in a way because I couldn't be a proper man when I was younger. I am straight by the way, so when most guys at the age of 16 are wondering how they're going to get a girlfriend, I was figuring out how I was going to get into a skirt. I honestly say it is with some regret the crossdressing came before any attempt to bed a girl or have a girlfriend.

Crossdresing was something I hid back then for fear of being labelled a gay man. Now I couldn't give two hoots who thinks I am a crossdresser.

Indeed I am still doing it today. I live alone and on some days because I work from home I can spend all day in women's clothes. It used to excite me sexually but no longer.

I do it, just because I want to. If I wake up one day and think, 'right, it's a women's clothes all day', then that's how it's got to be. Ha. It's funny but crossdressing is still really weird when I thinking about it.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Jen, Like you I also stated to dress at a young age(no sister though, "borrowed my moms clothes") I loved how it felt to wear a skirt and everything else that went along with dressing. The only difference between you and I was the fact that when in "boy mode" I chased girls like the rest of the guys. As I got older, my dressing increased remarkably and I started thinking how would I feel as a girl ( got very excited) but never did that equate to doing anything about it. I'm in my early 70"s and still dress and it still feels GOOD.

Molly

[OCCarly]

Don't feel like crossdressing has ruined your life. There is a lot to be said for having lived your own life on your own terms. I wasted a big chunk of my life by marrying the kind of girl my parents wanted me to marry, raising her daughters as my own and having a son with her, just like my parents wanted me to.

That divorce cost me nearly half a million dollars, I ended up almost destitute and in bankruptcy at the age of 35, and I now have two adult former stepdaughters and an adult son who never talk to me and haven't spoken to me in years.

All because I tried hard to be the man I never really was.

You stayed true to yourself, and there is something to be said for that.

[Jilmac]

I started at age 7 on a dare, but liked the feeling and look of wearing a dress and panties so I started borrowing clothes from my three older sisters. When I was old enough to earn money I would buy my own clothes but I was a closet dresser for most of my life. I am widowed now, out of the closet, and still dressing at age 70.

[Nikki A.]

Sometimes it's easier as you get older. I've dressed as a youngster also, married twice first marriage ended in divorce (dressing played a part), widowed from a somewhat accepting wife. Now I'm on my own and dress more often and freely.

[flatlander_48]

J V:

As Eddie Izzard says, "They're not women's clothes. They're MY clothes.".

[Davinnia]

I don't believe crossdressing has ruined your life. It's had a big affect certainly and is a big part of your life & probably hasn't contributed much to being single. Being single isn't only for crossdressers. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, these can seriously ruin your life !

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe u can relate then, Jenn? I never thot about trying on women's things until I was in my 50's.
Just a regular, vanilla guy up until then.

So now, Sherry's about 18. Which MAY help explain why I dress like I do!?

[Nancy Sue]

I'm a single man, never married, not had many girlfriends, but crossdressing has more or less ruled my life for over 50 years. ...

I started aged 4 or 5 dressing up and I am still doing it today. I live alone and on some days because I work from home I can spend all day in women's clothes. It used to excite me sexually but no longer. ...

Jen, as time goes on we begin to learn things about ourselves, and life, that cause us to ask "why didn't I realize this (however many) years ago?".

One such thing is whether or not crossdressing "excites (us) sexually" - or whether our becoming excited (aroused?) was "added later" to something we were already doing? My parents dressed and raised me as a girl until I started school, so I have wanted to dress in female clothes, and did whenever I could, long before I reached puberty. So did dressing up "excite me sexually"? Most of my life I thought it did then, but do not think so now. My part(s) that get "excited" were not doing that, yet. I was not dressing "to get excited", or "because I was excited". I was dressing because that is how I felt, and wanted, to be. It was how I wanted to see myself, and to accept myself. Sexuality (arousal and such) would not come to me for many years! But dressing up excited/inspired/captivated (and I am sure other emotions at times as well) my mind for many years before I ever had sexual feelings, thoughts, desires or abilities. It spoke to my psyche, my inner me. It drew me - but there was no sexual context early on, because I was not a sexual person.

However, most begin to transition (pun intended) from being a non-sexual person to a sexual person between about ages 10-14. And when we become a sexual person we (genetic males, at least) often begin to relate our crossdressing to our sexual feelings - even if we were crossdressing many years before we ever had any sexual feelings, persona, or ability. We forget that we had the same emotional needs, wants and desires (to dress) many years before we made sperm, before we were "sexual". It is not until much later (when we are older, perhaps in your case about 57, or mine about 64?), as the physical side of our sexuality seems to be a less driving force in our lives, that we realize our desire to dress, to be feminine, was not for the purpose of spurring some sort of sexual release - but to caress our minds, our soothe our psyche, to satisfy our sense of being who we feel we really are - to try to merge our outer vision of ourself with what our inner sight is seeing. I think in many older dressers, as the sexual part of their life becomes less forceful, and the "frenzy" diminishes, they begin to see that they desire to dress even more - more often, more fully, to enhance the illusion (many have used the term "to pass").

This realization for me, of course, does not apply to all who travel in this forum, or in life. There are as many different stories, and paths, as there are people here. Others started dressing when they are/were in their 20's, or mid-life, or even much later. Their own stories and revelations are different. But your comments are similar to some of my own realizations, so I felt I would share them with you. I hope it has been worth your time to read it.

[Jennifer Voxxx]

Thanks for the replies. They're nice.

I only say crossdressing has ruined my life because as I said I do have some regrets I didn't have many girlfriends when I was young. I think from the age of 16 to 25 I only had two girlfriends and they were short-term.

Crossdressing always took priority and whilst it's fun and relaxing now, I don't think that was healthy back then.

Jennx

[Teresa]

Jennifer,
I was going to say sadly age doesn't come into it but I'm not saddened that I still have the need , I enjoy it as much now as I ever did and feel more comfortable with it now.
I know it's never going away so just accept it as part of me as my family now do !

[Leasa Wells]

Jennifer

Your story sound alot like mine. My thought was maybe if I was born in another time things would have been different. A few years back I met a women who has accepted me as me, I am blessed. Your story has not been fully written, I hope you find that special person just dont give up.

Lisa

[CarlaWestin]

Well now. Since you've figured out that it's not you but the crossdressing that's caused all of your misfortune, you're on the golden path to happiness.
Quit crossdressing and go have a proper life. It's not too late. And you really owe it to yourself after being the helpless victim all these years.

(I've been CD'ing for 50+ years and had many, many wonderful encounters and relationships.)

[binair10]

Jennifer V. Good for you. I am a 74 y/o and still a very passable Cross Dresser and love it, especially when going out.
Keep doing it as I can see it makes you happy.

Julie.

[bobbimo]

Hi Jenn,
I sure can empathize with you and your life.
I too wondered what was happening to as I grew up, and it wasnt until the WWW came around that I learned that I was not gay but I need femme and male in my life for me to be complete.
I too was all consumed with dressing up, but I had a good number of friends that drug me out into the real world and I feel in love with many beautiful women. I did notice that once I was 'in love' that the dressing came second place and I didnt miss it until the relationship has plateaued and you happen to find the hidden stash of pantyhose. Then its back to CD'ing until the purge happens.
As to losing your youth to CDing. Well thats done, it cannot be redone. So now is your chance to fully embrace life as trans gender, find a girl that likes CD's, or just accept your a CD and put the real world on top of your priorities.
Like the great sage Yogi Berra says, 'The game aint over till its over'
Enjoy YOUR life
Hugs
Bobbi

[Wendy me]

hi i am in my late 50s and i am not a crossdresser .... yes i wear womens clouthes but they are my clouthes i have a Wendy side of me and a "him" side .... Wendy wears her things and "him" weares his things.... that simple ......

[Stephanie47]

57 or 43 (bio page)?

I'm in my late 60's. When I was a teenage boy I was not consumed by wearing my mother's clothes. I did it on occasion, but, when I did wear her clothes I felt "defective." It was about the sexual component of wearing women's clothing...raging hormones. I was not homosexual, but, a man who wore women's clothing was deemed to be a homosexual. What did I know? I did not have a girl friend and really wasn't too interested in getting one just because it was "the thing to do." But, I had a lot of contact and group activities with girls. Being drafted pulled me out of any "funk" I was in. I had no thoughts of wearing women's clothing when in the military. I had no thoughts of having a relationship with men, and, in the military branch I was in there were many many virile looking guys with good bodies, including me. That was a wake up call that I truly was a "normal" guy. I got married and have raised kids. I am still happily married to a woman who does not share my love of wearing women's clothing.

Cross dressing or any activity may rule a person's life. Whether or not cross dressing has ruined a life is dependent upon whether or not one wishes different choices were made. If you feel cross dressing has "ruined" your life at age 57 or 43, there is still time to experience whatever you feel you have missed in life.

[windycissy]

First, 57 is hardly "old" by today's standards, and there are plenty of women out there just looking for a respectable man your age, so if that's what you want, go for it!

Second, you haven't "wasted" your life - you've been true to an aspect of yourself that's pretty overwhelming for all of us, and perhaps you've had the inherent decency not to want to hurt a woman who might not understand, so you've stayed singled. That's a pretty admirable thing.

And third, you are hardly alone! This forum is proof of that. In a way it's a shame that all of us weren't born after the dawn of the Internet and today's societal changes, which provide so many options for kids these days. But if you want to go beyond crossdressing and think about transitioning, there's still time! I recently ran across this article from BBC about "elderly" transgendered women which is pretty inspirational: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34454576

[Heidi Stevens]

I'll be celebrating my 60th at Keystone next March! You got lots of good years ahead Jennifer. Just be sure and dress your age and you can go anywhere!

[suzanne]

What's unhealthy is the conflict between your feelings and what our male centered society demands of you.
What's unhealthy is internalizing society's view of the male / female binary rather than what feels healthy and natural to you.
What's unhealthy is feeling like you're doing something wrong.
If you want to wear dresses, then walk proud and say to h*** with what others think.
Life is too short to not live it on your terms and you've wasted enough of yours already.
Get out there and enjoy your life!

[CynthiaD]

It's funny but crossdressing is still really weird when I thinking about it.

I disagree. Crossdressing is not weird. Being transgendered is not weird. Living your life pretending to be something you're not: that's weird. You had the good sense to be yourself.

As for myself, I feel weird when I wear male clothing. I wear female clothing to feel normal.

[sometimes_miss]

I do have some regrets I didn't have many girlfriends when I was young.

In several ways, it does seriously interfere with having 'normal' relationships with girls/women. Either hiding it from them, or coming out and trying to manage that. Neither works well for well, about 99% of us.

I don't think that was healthy back then.

It's not that it's not 'healthy', it's that it's seen as something unusual which is to be avoided. So it causes most of society to want nothing to do with us, and of course, kills any attraction that women might have for us (very, very few women find crossdressed men sexually 'hot'; a few will tolerate it, but there simply not many who really like it).

[Jennifer Voxxx]

I disagree. Crossdressing is not weird. Being transgendered is not weird. Living your life pretending to be something you're not: that's weird. You had the good sense to be yourself.

As for myself, I feel weird when I wear male clothing. I wear female clothing to feel normal.

You misunderstand. I am saying it's weird FOR ME. From my perspective. Not from anyone else's point of view. Noticed I used the pronoun 'I'

I still not have fully understood why I do it, other than it feels good to look good in these clothes. I don't think it's wrong. And as I said in my first message, I don't give a s*** (sorry!) who think I am cross dressing.

Have fun.

57 or 43 (bio page)?

I'm in my late 60's. When I was a teenage boy I was not consumed by wearing my mother's clothes. I did it on occasion, but, when I did wear her clothes I felt "defective." It was about the sexual component of wearing women's clothing...raging hormones. I was not homosexual, but, a man who wore women's clothing was deemed to be a homosexual. What did I know? I did not have a girl friend and really wasn't too interested in getting one just because it was "the thing to do." But, I had a lot of contact and group activities with girls. Being drafted pulled me out of any "funk" I was in. I had no thoughts of wearing women's clothing when in the military. I had no thoughts of having a relationship with men, and, in the military branch I was in there were many many virile looking guys with good bodies, including me. That was a wake up call that I truly was a "normal" guy. I got married and have raised kids. I am still happily married to a woman who does not share my love of wearing women's clothing.

Cross dressing or any activity may rule a person's life. Whether or not cross dressing has ruined a life is dependent upon whether or not one wishes different choices were made. If you feel cross dressing has "ruined" your life at age 57 or 43, there is still time to experience whatever you feel you have missed in life.

I have an online age and a real age. Real DOB is 1958. Online age is 1972.

It helps to stop Internet fraud. Never give your real full DOB out!

**** Thanks for the other replies. *****

[Teresa]

Wendy Me,
I had to smile at your comment but you do come under the literal translation of transvestite. They maybe your clothes as many of us have but they were designed for women so you are wearing clothes of the opposite sex !

Why do you have a problem with that ? I don't, I think it's wonderful to be able to dress and cross over into a fem world, I'm not bothered about the labels when it feels so good !

[Wendy me]

Teresa if not for 2 grandaughters i would trans... for now Wendy is rocking she has her place and enjoys it .... and "him" has his.....gf i have no problem with that .....i am Wendy all the time just from time to time Wendy steps back ....i don't think of Wendy crossdressing.... We crossdress "him" ...........