Why veracity matters

[Zooey]

And that kind of sums it up. If you're honest about yourself and you don't meet someone's litmus test for transness you get insulted. Is this supportive?

To me, it was ironic that in a thread at least partially about this very thing, somebody came in and started their post with the textbook version. Apologies if I offended anybody by finding the irony funny, and posting a picture of Alanis Morrisette singing a ridiculous song called "Ironic". To be fair, I tried to add a bunch of smiley faces too, but the editor didn't like it.

In my actual response to the body of Dawn's post, i think I responded very fairly and was not insulting at all. In fact, IMO, I was downright encouraging, because the whole point is that I'm PERFECTLY HAPPY to read about just about anybody's experiences, so long as they're presented for what they are. I love to read about Marcelle's experiences, because they are often so different than my own. I learn a lot from her posts. I appreciate the fact that she never tries to apply her experiences to other situations that they don't apply to. She says who she is, and talks about that. When she offers input on experiences different from her own, I think she's always incredibly thoughtful and responsible about how she does so, by offering them up as contrast to others' experiences rather than attempting redefinition of them. I think all of that is friggin' awesome, and I personally will be thrilled if more people start doing that.

[Kimberly Kael]

Do you know why? Because on the internet individual veracity isn't all that important. It really isn't....because we have MULTIPLE sources of info and can see what the overal consensus is.

I agree with the notion that it's important to consider multiple viewpoints. I disagree emphatically with the notion that the idea that we shouldn't try to judge the relative merit of each viewpoint based on our history with the individual in question. The popular consensus about LGBT people for most of my life is that we've evil, disordered, and just need corrective therapy. The fact that most of the negative viewpoints are from people who refuse to listen to anything that contradicts their world view thoroughly undermines their position. The fact that they profit from our misery makes their motives suspect. The fact that some who have screamed the loudest turn out to be hiding same-sex affairs demonstrates clearly their hypocrisy. This is a clear demonstration of the value of veracity IMHO.

Is it really an issue? I don't really see a plague of non-trasitioners giving advice on transition matters.

There's more cheerleading than specific advice, and general fooling about that drowns out transitioning voices, sometimes leading to thread closure. No, it's not an epidemic. Yes, it's sometimes a problem.

Besides, we both know that socio-economic status has a LOT to do with whether someone transitions or not.

It certainly shapes the details of a transition and the likelihood of having a good support network. Does it actually have a significant impact on who transitions? I'm less certain that's the case, but I'd be very interested in any demographic comparisons against the general population.

No one's marginlizing you, they're just not giving you a throne to be the Queen Bee.

I have had my disagreements with Missy in the past but I don't think this is a fair characterization of her position. She's lobbying for a point of view but clearly states her position as HER position. She's well aware that there are those who disagree and expects lively conversation on the subject. That's pretty much the point of a community like this.

I freely admit to having had an improbably easy transition. I'm sure my life occasionally reads like fantasy, and no "Kimberly Kael" isn't my legal name. I also haven't been called out as an imposter or made to feel especially unwelcome.

Excuse me? There are transitioned folks here who suggest NOT using real names here to help keep privacy and the ability to woodwork an option. I used to append my real name to every post, but it was a TRANSITIONED TS who suggested to me that might not be a good idea. So who should we listen to, you, or her?

You have no obligation to obey either one, but might be well served by considering both viewpoints. Harvey Milk called for gay folk of all stripes to come out of the closet and live their lives openly and proudly. Was he wrong to do so? Every individual needs to make decisions for themselves but I've frequently argued that stealth was a byproduct of a time that is passing. I expect it to be less common in the future. The reason I chose not to use my real name here? For one, I hadn't actually transitioned when I first signed up and didn't know what my name was going to be! Of course I'm sure I could have changed it since but my wife prefers that I use a pseudonym if I'm going to post anything about our relationship. Fair enough. That's me. That's my decision. It doesn't mean I think Missy doesn't have a point, and while she tends to state it rather aggressively I don't think she's power mad. She has no authority and knows it. Your unfounded accusations to the contrary are at least as belligerent.

[Nigella]

Whilst this has been an interesting discussion, it has run its course.