GG dating a CD...is it for the bedroom only? Does it become more?

[lexi0922]

Hello!

I have tons of questions... My bf has always liked the idea of dressing up. He thinks the sissy boy thing is hot...luckily I do as well.

He just opened up to me about this maybe a month ago. He's dressed up 3 times for me when I get home from work on Friday night's. And I LOOOVE it!!!

Today I asked him if he just does it for a sexual thing, like fetish...or does he legit enjoy the feeling...or both. He really didn't know how to answer at first...but ended up saying probably both. It's new to both of us I feel like he's still learning. He looks up ways to be more girly, why does he feel girly, music that is for TGs and the like, videos of sissy boys and so on...etc etc.

I just want to know if it's just a fetish or a phase. I honestly hope not because I love it. I tell him I love it and I want more. And that makes him incredibly happy and comfortable perusing it more. But then I just feel like he's not as in to it as I am or as much as I'd like him to be. So I feel like I'm lost....maybe he's lost.

Anyone have some advice? Or similar stories? We're still both young yet.. 25 and 28.

[Pat]

Probably not a phase. Most crossdressers do it for life. Could be a fetish as well, but probably not exclusively a fetish. Most crossdressers would kill for an enthusiastic partner, so he's a fortunate guy but may not realize it yet. To get his head straight, he might consider some gender counseling. But overall -- keep doing what you're doing!

[mikeyp]

I'm not sure if you're the guy in question or not, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, it's not really a phase most likely, unless he also has other fetishes that he likes to indulge in as well. His tastes could change over time. I also enjoy the "sissy boy" thing as well though. Why? I have no idea. Sometimes I have the urge to play out my fetish in real life though and have people unwillingly become a part of my sexual fantasies, but I manage to keep that stuff under control for the most part. Part of what arouses me is being accepted by women as a woman, heh.

If you're real, which I doubt, you are part of that 1% of women who love crossdressing guys and don't just tolerate it.

[Erica Marie]

For alot of people dressing starts as a fetish and grows to different stages with time. Maybe for him it is partially fetish and partially expressing his feminine side. Like you said you both are young and any one of us would die to have a SO like yourself. My best suggestion is keep the lines of communication open. Let him know not to be afraid to express his true feelings. Even if he feels that it is more than fetish to him, no reason behind closed doors you cant still enjoy some fun time.

[pamela7]

ask him, speak to him, not to us. if you like it, tell him you want more!

[Beverley Sims]

Probably not a phase, most certainly he is trying to handle having someone else genuinely interested in his activities.

Take it slowly with him and I think you are in for a wonderful relationship.

I know other readers here would be envious of his situation, I also think it is wonderful.

[Nadine Spirit]

Wow, really Mikeyp? A bit rude, no?


Lexi -

Despite what others may say, yes, obviously some women do enjoy it when their SOs do this.

So is it just a fetish or a phase? Hard to tell. It is hard to tell what is going on, even when it is happening with ourselves. I honestly thought my dressing was just a sexual fetish and it actually took my wife pointing out all of the other things I was choosing to ignore that occurred long before I ever donned my first female clothing item. So.... I only know my personal experiences. I have been gender non-conforming my whole life, kind of wanted to ignore it and hope it would go away, started dressing in my 20s as a supposed sexual fetish and ten years later finally realized the truth, it never was a sexual fetish for me, the sex part just kind of allowed me to express it.

I would say, just let him know that you like it, lightly encourage him, and support it as you see fit. If it is just a phase, maybe then you two will move onto something else you both enjoy, if it hangs around, the most important thing is to make sure you keep the lines of communication open, which it seems as though you are doing wonderfully! Good for you!

[lexi0922]

Thank you for the replies. And yes I'm real? Lol. I've never liked manly men. I'm that small percent of women that love CDs. Something about it is just so interesting and hot.

I support my bf 100% and have bought him special outfits, makeup, a wig, self adhesive breast enhancers, etc etc. I want him to be happy, comfortable and free.

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I want him to do it more and more.. maybe because it's so new to us he's a like hesitant and I'm a little pushy lol.

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Wow, really Mikeyp? A bit rude, no?


Lexi -

Despite what others may say, yes, obviously some women do enjoy it when their SOs do this.

So is it just a fetish or a phase? Hard to tell. It is hard to tell what is going on, even when it is happening with ourselves. I honestly thought my dressing was just a sexual fetish and it actually took my wife pointing out all of the other things I was choosing to ignore that occurred long before I ever donned my first female clothing item. So.... I only know my personal experiences. I have been gender non-conforming my whole life, kind of wanted to ignore it and hope it would go away, started dressing in my 20s as a supposed sexual fetish and ten years later finally realized the truth, it never was a sexual fetish for me, the sex part just kind of allowed me to express it.

I would say, just let him know that you like it, lightly encourage him, and support it as you see fit. If it is just a phase, maybe then you two will move onto something else you both enjoy, if it hangs around, the most important thing is to make sure you keep the lines of communication open, which it seems as though you are doing wonderfully! Good for you!

Loved this. I think(hope) it's more than just a fetish. He shows other signs I feel... A few things he said to me that stood out were he's jealous of how beautiful I am and when he sees me looking all cute he wishes he could look the same lol. I told him I wish we could trade bodies for a day or more...he said he'd love that. He wants to know what it's like to be a girl. I imagine with more time, research, talking about it.... We'll both get more involved.

[Pat]

He may well be hesitant because all his life up to now admitting to the crossdressing couldn't end well. He has to learn to trust (trust himself, mostly.)

[heatherdress]

My wife, who was my GF, supports, enjoys and encourages my crossdressing. It has added a significant dimension to our intimacy. She enjoys being part of my crossdressing. We do a lot of things together dressed - and make it fun for both of us.

As far as where it will end up, that is up to both of you. Role play, joint adventures, weekend trips, crossdressing functions. Be creative, have fun, enjoy each other, love each other.

[avant1465]

lexi: A woman like you is a dream-come-true for a guy who is a crossdresser.... Go with it... go with him... and make a great relationship together..... 'cuz that's what you (and he) will have..... Congratulations...

[Sierra_juliette]

Your story reminds me a bit of my husband and I. He has dressed for most of his life and always hid it before. I encourage him, I enjoy it, mostly because it is when he is most comfortable and I see it is a sign of ultimate trust between us.

With that said, it is difficult for him to dress as often as he would like in front of me for fear of rejection. Although this is getting easier for him, I believe there will always be a hint of hesitation.

As for the doubting you're real, you'll get that a lot. There are honestly so few of us that fully support that it is hard to believe for some that we actually exist. Sometimes my husband still jokingly asks if I am real.

Fetish or more? Only time will tell. I agree with other posts, talk to him, keep assuring him that you enjoy and support it.

[Scarlett Viktoria]

Wow, lucky guy to have someone so supportive. I would guess it's not a phase. The feeling will ebe and flow throughout his life most likely so try not to be too pushy. I went about a year recently without dressing. But do talk to him about it. Communicating about the issue will help him understand where he stands overall on this, CD, full transition, etc. But as long as you are both into it, have a great time!

[lexi0922]

Your story reminds me a bit of my husband and I. He has dressed for most of his life and always hid it before. I encourage him, I enjoy it, mostly because it is when he is most comfortable and I see it is a sign of ultimate trust between us.

With that said, it is difficult for him to dress as often as he would like in front of me for fear of rejection. Although this is getting easier for him, I believe there will always be a hint of hesitation.

As for the doubting you're real, you'll get that a lot. There are honestly so few of us that fully support that it is hard to believe for some that we actually exist. Sometimes my husband still jokingly asks if I am real.

Fetish or more? Only time will tell. I agree with other posts, talk to him, keep assuring him that you enjoy and support it.

Love this. I feel very close to my bf when he lets me see this other side of him. And he feels closer to me.

I do know he worries he won't be girly enough, cute enough or sexy enough for me.... But he doesn't need to worry and I've told him that. I've offered up my entire closet of clothes for him to wear since we're the same size lol. I want him to be comfortable and happy and feel beautiful.

The first time I saw him dolled up for me...I couldn't even speak. He was stunning. It literally took my breath away.

[sometimes_miss]

My first question is: MUSIC FOR TG'S????? I didn't know there was such a thing.

If it's just a fetish, that's not going to go away. And not likely a fling, or a phase. Though, in the past 25 years, I have discussed this with maybe TWO guys who claimed that they only did it a few times. literally less than an handful.

Anyway, he's a lucky guy. Most of us will never meet a woman who will share this kind of thing.

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Lexi, My only advice is to enjoy one another's company my friend.

[lexi0922]

Wow, lucky guy to have someone so supportive. I would guess it's not a phase. The feeling will ebe and flow throughout his life most likely so try not to be too pushy. I went about a year recently without dressing. But do talk to him about it. Communicating about the issue will help him understand where he stands overall on this, CD, full transition, etc. But as long as you are both into it, have a great time!

I will be with him every step of the way. Even If he wanted a full transformation... I'd still love him and be with him.

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My first question is: MUSIC FOR TG'S????? I didn't know there was such a thing.

If it's just a fetish, that's not going to go away. And not likely a fling, or a phase. Though, in the past 25 years, I have discussed this with maybe TWO guys who claimed that they only did it a few times. literally less than an handful.

Anyway, he's a lucky guy. Most of us will never meet a woman who will share this kind of thing.

Yes music!! There is an album called Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me. He went through a full transformation. Then two songs by garbage called Cherry Lips and Adrogyny. They are great!!

[mykell]

hi lexi,
noticed your avatar...assuming its you and i must say you are adorable, my son loves the color streaked hair himself, he is 16 though so stay away.

at 25 and 28 i hope for your sake it definitely becomes more, lots of time for you two to grow and bond and share with each other,
your story will read like a fantasy for many here as us elder folks grew up in a society which shamed us for being who we are and here you are buying him forms....wow....hope he appreciates what a catch you are.
guess you have a whole new meaning for TGIF....thanks for sharing your story....

[GenieGirl]

Very doubtful it's a phase especially at his age. He's just a late bloomer. More than likely the fetish part for him will trickle over more so into his identity and could be something he wants outside of the bedroom as well. It is rare that a partner would enjoy it more than the crossdresser so I guess he is lucky there.

[LisaKarenAZ]

Lexi,
As has been said repeatedly here, you are a dream come true for the majority of us. Your BF is one lucky guy to have someone like you to not only accept this side of him, but to also nurture it. On the flip side, you are also one lucky lady. For myself, and many others here, this side of us presents a true yin/yang personality.

Only speaking for myself, once I was able to come to accept this part of me, and eliminate the majority of guilt I accumulated over the years, I have found that I no longer have the extreme masculine/feminine characteristic swings. I don't feel compelled to over exert machismo to show my male side, nor do I have to overdo anything to cherish my feminine side. I feel comfortable crying at certain movies, have no problem downing a couple of drinks with the guys, going shopping with or for my wife, or going into "I'm going to rip you apart" mode if someone messes with my family.

You have someone who can be more empathetic to your wants, needs, and feelings, as well as someone that shouldn't feel like they have to establish their dominance in the relationship, and would treate you as a true equal partner.

The chances of this being just a phase are slim to none, based on my knowledge and experience. I don't know him, his background, or upbringing, but his statements you shared indicate that this could be more deeply rooted than a phase.

My best advice I can impart is to take your time with him, show him that he can trust you with this, and most important, don't push too hard. Too much discomfort could put him in to a fight/flight response, and you could lose out on an incredible life journey. Communicate with him. If he's not able or willing to talk about it, let him know you're there whenever he's ready. Keep showing him the subtle gestures like notes stuck to the mirror with things like "you're beautiful. I love you", paint his nails for him while you're sitting in front of the TV, bringing him a flower from time to time, or the simple little feminine gifts.

No matter where this relationship goes, take the time and cherish every moment of it!

[Scarlett Viktoria]

Yes music!! There is an album called Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me. He went through a full transformation. Then two songs by garbage called Cherry Lips and Adrogyny. They are great!!

That actually reminds me that Sonic Youth has a song called "Andgrogynost Mind" off of Experimental Jet Set Trash and No Star. Fantastic album if you're into post-punk/noise-rock!

[Saikotsu]

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was another one of those, "my boyfriend crossdresses and it scares me" threads. Very glad to see I'm wrong.

It's really heartening to see a supportive partner like yourself. It makes me appreciate my girlfriend all the more because she, like you, is very supportive of me.

As for whether or not its a phase, I doubt it. As you're both young, I'm sure you'll discover all sorts of ways to explore this together and keep it fresh and exciting.

[avant1465]

Lexi: You've told him that your OK with his crossdressing... now let him reveal to you how much - how often - how intensely - he likes it to be...... A G/F like you is a dream-come-true... and we (C/D-ers) have to learn and understand just how you see this piece of us...... TELL HIM!!!! AND, let him TELL YOU.....

I am the lucky C/D guy who has emerged from years of hiding myself (My C/D identy) from women-friends... and have now found a G/F, S/O who is so OK with the "real" me... that it damn near brings me to tears...

You and he WILL strike the balance which is "just right" for the two of you... and life will be great as you learn, understand, and live that....

Good luck...

[lexi0922]

All of you are so kind. I love what you all have posted and it makes me feel a lot better hearing similar stories.

I want to have the best life ever with my bf. To lose him would literally be losing a part of myself. The yin yang comment is so true. We are equals and that's how we see each other... I love him more than anything.

[Jacky Aikou]

Hi Lexi, I'd say your boyfriend was a rare find, but as an encouraging gf you are like one in a million!
Obviously it is destiny
Please take your time and enjoy exploring and refining your bf's feminine side together.
We girls here on the forum will weep happy tears of envy and wait for updates

And thank you so much - posts like yours are rays of hope in a usually hostile world.
(I am blessed to have a tolerant wife, but even so I'm amazed by your enthusiasm!)