Accidentally fount the Anti_CD pill

[Rhonda Jean]

Too early to be sure. It is not at all what I want! I've been doing this my whole life and it is an integral part of my life. I don't want it to go away!

A week ago I was put on a prescription medication for something else. I'm not comfortable reveling the medication here. PM me if you want. I'm still working up to the full dosage. Already I'm feeling different. I've been at this long enough to know what a temporary lack of desire feel like. This feels different. This is especially noticeable because this happens to coincide with a planned week out of town to do nothing but do my girl thing with the freedom and anonymity that out-of-town gets you. I was already kind of not feeling it when I left. Went anyway because this is what I'd planned and scheduled. Dressed casually before I left, had my nails done on the way, made the drive, and checked into the hotel en femme. Didn't leave my room Saturday. Sunday it was hot, so I took advantage of the chance to wear a new summer short skirt Should have been great. It felt like nothing. While I was putting on my makeup it felt just weird. I can't describe it. It didn't get better. Monday was more of the same. It felt forced. Tuesday I had done all the shopping I could stand, so I went to a casino to play slots. Another woman sat at the machine next to me and struck up a conversation which quickly turned to be about me. I willingly answered all of her many questions. We ended up moving to the restaurant. Probably went on for about an hour. I think this was the first time I'd ever just bared my soul to a complete stranger that wasn't my therapist. It made me hyper-aware of everything about me. She was a very nice person, and I think if I hadn't had this other thing going on I would have loved the conversation. Instead, I felt stripped bare. When we left and I was walking alone through the casino and on to my car I had this weird awareness about everything I was wearing and the way I looked, moved, everything. And it was not a good feeling. Wednesday I came home. Still was wearing nail polish and carrying my purse in male mode, which is very common for me. This time it felt... just not right. I came straight home.

I don't know that I can be certain, but I'm as sure as I can be that this is a reaction to this medication. Maybe when I've been on it for a while and I get used to it I'll be back to normal. I hope so. There might have been a time in my life when this would have been a desired effect. Not now. I'm going to ride this out for a while. I'll tell you that right now I'm WAY not into it. I'll see where this goes.

[Tracii G]

Maybe its your apprehension of the reason you are on the meds and not the meds themselves.
We all have times when our minds just aren't into CDing and the desire wanes a bit.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I think Tracii has a point. Perhaps that is what is going on. Happens to me sometimes, without medication.

[ReineD]

Wow, Rhonda, do you remember Karren (with two r's), the member who didn't consider that wearing blue jeans counted for dressing? She went through a period here in her last few years just like you. She was also on some medication (can't remember what it was), that caused her to not want to CD. She had been on and off the meds and noticed that the desire to CD always came back when she was off those meds.

I hope your meds are temporary? I can understand how difficult it would be to try to become passionate about something else. Sort of an empty feeling, isn't it?

[Joan_CD]

Hi Rhonda,

there is a medical condition called hypoarousal. This is the opposite of hyperarousal, in that you feel kind of numb and not very caring of conditions in your life. Certain meds can cause this condition as a side effect. Sometimes the lack of desire goes away as your body adjusts to the med. I have no idea if this condition is what you are experiencing from the med, but I just wanted to bring it to your attention. Take care.

[Ceera]

There are certainly some medications that can dull the emotional responses to various stimuli. Maybe that is what is happening here? I'd talk to my doctor. If you don't feel right about mentioning the exact circumstances, just say you participated in a leisure activity that is usually quite pleasurable for you, but this time you felt no emotional or pleasurable response to the activity.

Are you having a similar reaction to other activities that you normally found pleasurable?

[Kevyn53]

I was prescribed a pill for depression years ago. I took it for about a month and quit because my creativity went in the toilet. It numbed me out. It sounds like the same kind of effect.

[Krisi]

So go back to your doctor and tell him/her that the medicine is killing your desire to dress as a woman. Ask for an alternative medicine for your condition. See it that is better.

[CONSUELO]

Once, when being treated for depression I was prescribed a medication that had me sexually aroused for much of the day.

[Mayo]

There are certainly some medications that can dull the emotional responses to various stimuli. Maybe that is what is happening here? I'd talk to my doctor. If you don't feel right about mentioning the exact circumstances, just say you participated in a leisure activity that is usually quite pleasurable for you, but this time you felt no emotional or pleasurable response to the activity.

Are you having a similar reaction to other activities that you normally found pleasurable?

Anti-depressants of the SSRI class can have a similar effect and may also be prescribed for anxiety or obsessive/compulsive behaviours. They also tend to reduce sex drive. I took them for a while a number of years ago but wasn't dressing at that time so I can't say what effect they would have had on that aspect of my personality.

[debstar]

long time SSRI user here. No effect on my desire to dress. Big drop off in sex drive, in that is less "automatic" but everything still works.

[mikeyp]

SSRIs seemed to increase my sex drive when I last took them. I think it was lexapro. I would literally go after any woman that moved, and crossdress every 2 hours or so for gratification.

[debstar]

I'm counting down from 10 to when the administration shuts this thread down. They are very consistent on the talking about drugs thing. Personaly I think it is a shame because I feel the depression and or anxiety is a probably common among those wrestling with gender issues and we are not able to discuss it here. Pretend it is not a real part of life. No one gets a "high" off AD's, it's just about coping. Day to day.

[Rhonda Jean]

That's why I didn't name anything. I knew it'd be shut down if I did. I hope this is OK.

[Lorileah]

as long as you follow the FAQs

The following content is NOT allowed ANYWHERE on the forum and will be deleted.
The discussion of non-surgical breast enhancement is prohibited.
The discussion of ANY herbal medication and any kind of supplements for ANY reason is prohibited
The discussion of ANY over the counter medication for ANY reason is prohibited
The discussion or recommendation of ANY online pharmacies for ANY reason is prohibited

[Tina_gm]

I certainly hope this thread stays open. The OP did everything in their power to stay within the rules, but yet did have to leave a reason of not feeling like CDing. For the most part, the rules here are a good thing, as CDers like myself want a clean healthy place to come to. Yet, there are subjects related to CDing and our social issues and difficulties that sometimes I wish we could talk about on here.

[docrobbysherry]

I blame my prostate meds for beginning to dress rite out of the blue. But, something that makes u stop sounds quite intriguing!

I went thru a nearly 4 month period where I had absolutely NO desire to dress, Rhonda. So, I didn't.

Of course, it came back. Since then, I've come to a balance of when to dress and when to give it a pass.

[s.e.al]

Dress or not dress does not really matter I just hope the meds r working for what ever your medical condition is good luke

[laura.lapinski]

I'm counting down from 10 to when the administration shuts this thread down. They are very consistent on the talking about drugs thing. Personaly I think it is a shame because I feel the depression and or anxiety is a probably common among those wrestling with gender issues and we are not able to discuss it here. Pretend it is not a real part of life. No one gets a "high" off AD's, it's just about coping. Day to day.

I feel the same way as you. I mean, here is a site where we are supposed to discuss things that affect us, how we feel and so forth, but yet it seems there are a lot of rules and restrictions. The main thing they are against is mentioning actual medication names and dosages. However, there are many sites on the internet where there are no restrictions in discussing these things. I don't know what the reasoning is for being so strict here.

[ReineD]

Laura, it's because the desire to feminize parts of the body is so powerful and at the same time closeted for many people, that they are willing to take lotions and potions without medical supervision, without considering long-term effects on the whole body. If members here wrote down the combinations and names of their prescriptions with dosages, scripts they got from their doctors after a physical evaluation and continued monitoring, I can just see people ordering these things online thinking the same mix was good for them, with potentially dangerous results.

[Junius]

I know the feeling! For me, the magic off switch is pot. When I smoke, or have recently smoked, pot my world is in a haze. I care less about everything, my own happiness included. It's easier to repress the part of me that's in the closet, the part that I'm trying to accept because while in this haze, I'm not real, the world is not real, only the weed is real. Everything is numb and without that motivation to tap into the true me, dressing becomes an empty affair.

I'm not saying that this is you but if you are taking a mind altering drug (anti depressants count), expect a change in your motivations and behaviors. Talk with your doctor about this and they can help you with this like dosage our referrals to other forms of treatments. Whatever you do, don't let your fear of being outed stop you from getting the treatment that you need.

[Nancy Sue]

I agree with the ban on mentioning certain drugs, and the conditions for which people take them, because different drugs affect people's different chemistries differently. When I am curious what others take for certain things (like HRT) I PM them and ask. I am curious about HRT, and other's experiences and body responses/results, but know that my own doctor needs to check my own chemistry before prescribing. I take a prescribed pill commonly referred to on the street as "drain cleaner", but for me it is calming, and helps me focus and not go nuts. But it gives others a high, and sells on the street for 10 times its pharmacy cost. Thankfully it does not affect my feelings of self and identity (that I know of). A few weeks ago I had a back pain issue (won't mention the condition, which starts with sc) which I had only heard of before, but had never had the displeasure to experience. OMG the pain was excruciating! I went through chiro visits, acupuncture, and pills - but anyone with the same, or similar, should see their own doctor, not "follow" my path. So I get that.

Having said that - it could be the lack of cd pizazz is a result of the medical issue, rather than the medication. Thankfully, for me, this current back thing, and my medications, did not make my zeal go flat, because I am on a two-week business/holiday trip, and I am enjoying my personal identity very much.