Ask first. If she's cool with it she'll let you know. If she is not then you have avoided an unnecessarily akward situation. Either way, you will make her day by showing her respect and concern by asking first. The whole situation will be much more positive and she may be excited by the chance to see you en femme.
I would take the ask as a huge compliment if I were in her shoes, and she will recognize how much it means to you too.
I would also ask first. She sounds like an understanding girl. So there shouldn't be a problem. Maybe you could ask her for some help with makeup advice or how to apply it. She maybe more than happy to practice on you but you should always ask first. Good luck!
I was very nervous when I first told her about myself but got over that, tomorrow lunch is another big step in coming out fully and although I know her very well I still think I might be a bit nervous in broaching this side of things even though she knows I dress its somewhat different to asking outright "how do you feel about me being with you fully dressed", I can do it but it will be a bit of a twitchy time, I think it will go well as I have known her for years. It is something that needs to be discussed, I think it is another step in life for me but one to be taken gently.
When I invited her to lunch she said to me "We must talk some more", from this I glean that she wants to know me more as a cd, so maybe I do not need to worry much about talking about this next step.
Why in the world would you underdress with breast forms? That would look pretty strange I would think. If you told her you are a crossdresser, fine. Ask her in advance if she would be comfortable with you dressed as a woman. Otherwise, dress as a man. No breast forms, wig, etc.
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Does she have a telephone? If so, call her and ask her. That won't take too much of her time.Originally Posted by bobbi46
And if you do dress for her, dress as a normal woman would dress for the time and place. No overdone makeup and six inch heels.
When I referred to being underdressed with forms I did not mean to infer that the rest of me was in drab at that time I was wearing a fairly plain blouse and pants so did not come over as a "guy with boobs", as for tomorrow I have not as yet got an email regarding dressing so at the moment it will all be left to talking tomorrow.
If I knew a woman for a very long time and considered her a trusted friend, I'd discuss it over lunch. I'd tell her that I had mulled it over whether to meet her en femme without any advance warning, but, decided it might be presumptive as to whether or not she was comfortable with me doing that. I think the recommendation of having an outfit assembled if she were to ask to see your femme side is a good one. I'd have a pretty dress, ,bra, panty and slip on a hanger with heels and hosiery on the floor underneath. I'd also go light with the makeup.
And, if she said "We must talk some more," that really does not infer she is ready for a "reveal."
Of course "we must talk some more" could also mean talking in a greater depth about everything, she is so totally accepting in how I am and possibly feel that she will want to see me en femme but as has been said not before she arrives probably afterwards at some point.
Ask her what she would prefer.
Tomorrow evening I will tell you all how it went, wish me luck
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Where do I start?. I of course did as you all advised me, do not dress before! which is what I did, I was unable to ask before if it would be ok to dress, so when my friend and also her lady partner who I have also known for a long time came, I was in drab, the lunch was beautiful and during it, all aspects of me was talked about in great detail. I told her that I was most concerned not to rock the boat about being en femme before as I did not want to cause any upset with our friendship. She replied and these are words " I expected you to be dressed when I came ". I told her that was very nice of her to say so, we talked about the different comforts of cloths in general drab against feminine and I told her how I preferred to be en femme.I then said to her would you like to see me dressed? and she said of course, I replied that I would like to do that for her and went upstairs to change, bra/forms/ panties/pantyhose/slip, just below the knee skirt and a pail pink blouse with pink lace sleeves. No make up because I am still trying to learn and did not want to go downstairs looking like something from a circus. We were still in the dining room because lunch had just finished and we had not moved to the sitting room for coffee. When I walked into the room they both said truly and honestly "you like very nice". I was asked was I wearing pantyhose and I said yes lifting the skirt up just a little to show them but to be overtly displaying and they said much more comfortable. Many such like comments followed by me asking about make up and everything like that and about all sorts of clothing and fashion in general. We then moved to the sitting room for coffee and delved deeper into all sorts of gender orientation and where they thought I was in regards the spectrum between hetro and gay. I have to add more towards the hetro end.
It was such a totally exhilarating and relaxing occasion because of the way of everything we spoke of was without rancour or disapproval or anything, like this is not right, you should not do this and that. It was all so relaxing and matter of fact, and to put it one way so beautiful.
It has put me in a wonderful sense and feeling for the future.
The bit that is embedded in my mind most is "We expected you to be dressed". This was the bit that meant so much to me. I am looking forward to seeing them again as our friendship has begun to be more firmly joined than ever before.
I am now off in to town for some make up totally en femme for the first time.
What a great result Bobbi - and now you know exactly where you stand... No-one has been offended; everyone's understanding is aligned!
I wish you luck with your progress and future engagements..
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Thank you so much katey, for someone albeit a close friend to say we expected to see you dressed was such a wonderful thing to hear. It has given me so much more confidence on my road to find feminine happiness.
Bobbi,
That was a very respectful way to handle your reveal and a beautiful thing for them to say. I'm so proud of you for the way you conducted this reveal. It is so much better to offer respect to friends than to ask for forgiveness.
Thanks for this,
-E
**Just trying to happily be me.**
Hugs!
-E
Only you will decide that, once you have asked her of course?
Julie
Bobbi, I have also been waiting to read your follow-up story - and congratulations! It is so nice you decided to not push it, and that you had made thoughtful plans to dress "just in case", so you were ready when they expressed their openness and acceptance. And its also nice for you to know that you were reading your friends right about their acceptance, and wanting to be part of you taking the next step in your process.
I think many of us will be waiting to read more of the story as it unfolds. Please keep us informed.
bobbi...what a wonderful experience...i do believe going slowly is the right way and it seems to have proven out...what an enriching friend you seem t have met.
My compliments Bobbi, for your thoughtfulness, planning, and actions. Sounds like you've met your goal and built a stronger friendship.
Karen
I am still on a high from how everything worked out in the end. The good thing of course was, and I thank you all dearly for this, was reading and absorbing all of your very sound advice. Of course I have to say that lunch was not totally dominated by me and how I am and everything all sorts of things were spoken about. But the most rewarding thing was being complimented about how I looked. Also whilst in the lounge over coffee, I was so relaxed being dressed with them there and they too were quite happy with me as well. I did not feel self conscious or any thing like that it just seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to be dressed and to be with my friends.
The beauty of this will continue without a doubt.
As my life and femininity evolves over time I will tell you about it. I think that what I have managed to do is a huge milestone to pass for me.
Congratulations! I think it worked out perfectly and you have started down the road of a great friendship.
In stead of a "May I dress up for you?" perhaps a "Would you like to see me dressed?" question would put things a little differently.
Lacy PJs
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