Public Restroom
Hi ladies, im new to cd... well is something that i have always wanted to explore more. As I become more brave in deessing up, im still in thr closet and of course my wife doesnt know and i like to keep it that way. But my questions is when you guys are out and about and need to use the restrooms which one do you use? Thanks for reading
For me (and for most, if not many), it's not a big deal. If I present femme, women's room. Otherwise, men's room. Of course, it's easier if there is a gender-neutral option. Oftentimes, those who are a little more hesitant will find a "family" restroom.
And act like you belong there.
Sirena
Sirena Rivera
"Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing." - Theodor S. Geisel
Always the ladies room when out dressed. I was nervous at first. Now it's second nature.
There are very strong feelings on this site that we should be able to pee anywhere - but I have heard GG women, who are otherwise very support of crossdressers, express very strong feelings against CDs using a woman's rest room. I have seen GGS very upset because they feel that men wearing high heels, skirts and makeup, regardless of how good they look, are still men - and don't belong in their rest room. At a few CD functions, some women were deeply upset because, even though the crossdressers who used the ladies room looked great, felt they "passed", and behaved carefully, they were still recognized as males.
At crossdressers' events, GG spouses were quite upset about rest room policies and felt disrespected. I have always felt that this should not be a big deal, but I have seen how upsetting use of a rest room can be.
This is more difficult than simply acting like we belong in a women's rest room. Use of the men's room when we are dressed is also quite difficult and can even be dangerous. I don't feel real good about either option and usually think try to limit drinking when dressed, avoid using male or female public rest rooms if possible, try to be conscious of occupancy, try to use vacant rest rooms, try to be as quick as possible, and accept negative reactions without taking offense if they occur. I just try to be sensitive, aware and careful when I have to pee.
Last edited by heatherdress; 10-24-2015 at 04:59 PM.
Ladies room, and I do not give it a second thought.
Hi Miss Britney,
When dressed I use the ladies room, but what you can do by starting up is going to a Dunkin Donuts where they have a singe men or women's room and you can go in private. Also alot of malls have a handicap / family restroom it's neutral you can use that. When I first dressed out I would scout out the areas I would travel in and check the rooms as a male to remember when I needed to stop.
I too have heard it said, use the facility that represents how you're presenting. Yah, easy to say if you have the 'golden hall PASS' I suppose 😕
I haven't run into that situation yet but I have pondered on it. I've only really been to one place fully dressed and I kept thinking about which one to use if I had to go. I was too nervous to use either so I just sipped my water with dinner and prayed that I'd make it the 50 miles home before having to go. Sure, I could stop at a rest stop since we were on the highway but then that would mean making that decision.
I guess when the time comes I'll just close my eyes and pick a door
I can understand the most popular response will be, without hesitation, to use the ladies room. I just want to offer that even though we feel it is OK, that it is almost a right to use the rest room we want to, we may be diminishing support and acceptance and may threaten women unless we are sensitive and careful. My wife, who is 110% supportive and very open-minded, has frequently articulated her resentment that men feel it is OK to invade the women's rest room.
Thanks, a lot of good info here for a newly cd that is yet to make a public outing. I just dont think is as easy as everybody says it is. A lot of places have those single restrooms for either male or female. I dont think I'm passable at all or dont have the confidance yet...I'm glad i joined this forum
When presenting as a woman, I always use the women's restroom. heatherdress, I have no idea where you live and go out, but you seem to have mostly negative experiences. That has to be extremely bad luck. I have only known two people, friends, who have had problems, one (TS) in a small casino outside of Las Vegas, and she attributed that to the regular hookers there that would occasionally make negative comments about her. The other was in Berkeley, CA where one would really expect a lot of extra tolerance. Otherwise with my close to 500 outings, I have never had a negative experience. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and tolerance can be expected. However, reading all the various posts on this site over the last 8 years, negative reactions for the crown are extremely rare, as in, almost never.
Good luck in your growth as the new you.
Use the one for your presentation.
Get in, do your business, wash up, get out.
Hold your head up and behave like you belong there, because you do.
Pay attention to Persephone's Bathroom Rule: Never speak if you cannot be seen unless your femme voice is perfect.
Some women socialize in the restroom, but they usually know each other so you needn't join in.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
this discussion's been around a few times, mostly divisively and argumentatively, as there are two camps. I sit in the "go to the restroom of your physical gender" camp. Unless you are a TS living as a woman and therefore having to follow precisely all aspects on your journey, then ur still a man, albeit dressed as a woman, so respect the women's privacy. I don't agree that its right for a CD'er to use a female restroom. However, most will disagree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
I don't mean to create fight theough this discussion, i was just curious as to what choice do we as cd make. That's all
welcome Miss Britney, I see that, it's okay, just this is a core thing for many here, and so expect some strong views. you have to make up your own mind as to what you choose, as there is no right answer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
Several years ago, I was on the island of Saipan in the pacific. We had gone down to a local bar which was really just a shack build on dock out in the mangroves. After a couple of ales I need to relieve my bladder and was told the rest room was a building at the end of the pier. Okay it was a concrete building and I walked in and found it was just an open, three wall structure. No toilets, sinks, lights, stalls, just three walls and opened facing the lagoon. I caught on quick and stepped up to the edge of the floor, unzipped and went. As I stood there relieving myself of my recent investment I heard the soft sweet, unmistakable voice of a woman behind me. "do you mind" she said. It was the bar maid and of course I said no not at all. She stepped up, knelled down, lifted her skirt and went. Oddly it wasn't awkward, we both did what was needed and went back to our night. I guess my point is in our more "civilized" nations, with all our amenities, toilets with privacy stalls, people still get so frigging up tight about this.
This is a hot topic Miss Britney and would suggest going with ptp009 suggestion. Sometimes the better part of valor is avoiding the fight. Check the laws in your area, get a feeling of the attitudes and see what the acceptance level is. above all be safe. Just my two cents.
When I am still and quiet, people who do not know me think, Oh how cute she's shy.
People who do know me think, OMG RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
Ladies room or family restroom if presenting as female.
Even when presenting 50/50 I have been told by one or two GG ladies that I should use the women's room and not the men's. (for my own safety)
Their point was that most women will not beat you up for being in their even if they are not welcoming, however a group of hater or bigots in the men's room could ensue into a brawl.
Anyhow you have to use some judgement is my point.............
I've been to numerous women's restrooms from bars to rest stops. Never had a problem. Have even fixed my lipstick next to a gg.
Just this week I have frequented male restrooms with female hair (mine is long) wearing women's attire (crew neck sweaters, women's polos and jeans). The looks I have received from men are very discerning and uncomfortable. I think men are much more homophobic than women. That alone makes me pick the women's restroom.
Not too many women can kick my ass, but the mob mentality may prevail in the men's restroom which would quickly overpower mmy military training and actual combat experience. So, I defer to the least hostile environment. Should the police become involved, I'm a transsexual which should confuse the situation enough for a successful escape and evasion. Just my thoughts and experience.
Good luck and Godspeed.
^^^That^^^Originally Posted by Lauri K
If you're dressed as female and go into the women's room nobody knows for sure if you are TG or simply a masculine-looking woman.
If you're dressed as female and go into the men's room everyone knows that you're TG.
Be safe.
That said, I've used hundreds of ladies rooms and, at 6'2", I stand out. I have never had anyone say a single negative thing to me or in my earshot.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Wow! I never really thought about this situation at all. Never gone out as femme and was planning on it, as soon as I get the courage and confidence. Thank you all for posting up your experiences and opinions on this subject. I will now have something to think about when I do go out in public. And will definitely take the safer route.
If I am in all girl mode the ladies room 50/50 mode the mens room.
It would be stupid to go in the mens room dressed enfemme now wouldn't it?
I use the unisex or family restrooms if the place has one just for fact you aren't actually offending anyone by using it.
I know nearly all free standing Starbucks have single seater women's rooms which is my first choice if not ladies room but get in then get out. I don't know if i have the nerve to use a ladies room if there is a line. Anyone have insight, do you talk to each other, yikes. Unisex makes this a non issue!
i'm so confident about going into the ladies that i've caught
myself several times almost walking into one in male mode...
paula
Hmm... Is it just me or is there something incongruous about this statement?
MissBritney -
While fully dressed I always use the ladies room. I generally do not converse unless necessary while in there. I have been going out for about ten years now and have used the ladies in about 5 or 6 different states from California to Wisconsin and have never had a single problem.
Anything less than full feminine appearance and I use the men's room.
Oh and something else to be said as well - in all of the restrooms I have been in, male or female, I have never seen anything that woukd be considered "private." Because you know, toilet areas have stall doors at least. And people aren't parading around naked just cause its a bathroom.
Oh and another thing, the nastiest restroom I have ever been in was a ladies room in Chicago O'Hare where someone left some "number 2" on th floor and I stepped in it!!! Of course I warned the next lady in line before removing my shoe and cleaning it at the sink! Um nasty! Why woukd anyone do that?
OK, you've achieved the the ZEN of the forest! Peeing behind the foliage of womanhood 😀i'm so confident about going into the ladies that i've caught
myself several times almost walking into one in male mode...
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