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Thread: Who the gosh darn heck are u callin' 'sir'? 😠

  1. #1
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    Who the gosh darn heck are u callin' 'sir'? 😠

    I often present 'en andro' (skinny jeans, ladies (black) jacket, VERY light makeup...hint of lipstick and mascara) and most people don't use any gender identifier at all when in that 'mode' and I take it as a compliment (as a full on guy, I'm always refered to as 'sir' and I get it 😕 )...the few times when 'en andro' I get a 'sir' and think WT《gosh darn heck》... I look like Boy George just got hit by a bus... but 'sir', really!?

    I'd prefer a weird look and you handing me my change with your arm stretched out to avoid getting the pink cooties flying off me 😅

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member JeanetteX's Avatar
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    Hi mister....are you fuming at me now Robin LOL
    Love and hugs Jeanette

  3. #3
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    That was a good one Jeanette. Hee

    But what does Boy George look like if he were hit by a bus?
    Not like your profile pic missy! You're cute and you're avatar no longer looks like Joe Elliot.
    I am not a woman nor am I am man... I’m an enby. Hi, my name is Wren.

  4. #4
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Hey, Robin, How's it hangin'? What exactly is a hint of mascara and lipstick? Good post.
    The one I've gotten a few times is, "Are those real?" Yeah, they're real. Real silicone. And lots of it!

    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  5. #5
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    I was completely dressed and visiting Atlanta for Southern Comfort when I went out for dinner. I loved the meal so much I complimented the manager. She said "thank you sir" to me. I smiled at that and didn't say anything.

    It did cross my mind that she might want to rethink her comments considering there were 1200+ conference attendee's just down the street.

  6. #6
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    When "sir'ed" while presenting completely as a female, it makes me want to say "what part of my presentation makes you think "sir" is appropriate?"

    Then again, maybe I don't want to know!!!
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarlaWestin View Post
    What exactly is a hint of mascara and lipstick?

    I apply it with cap on, I don't wanna look like a GIRL after all! LOL 😁 😉

  8. #8
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    Before transition, I tried an andro look, to see if it eased the dysphoria any (it didn't).
    People didn't know how to identify me, so they picked whichever marker they saw first. No boobs- Sir. Purse-Ma'am. I really couldn't blame them. They have but a moment to make up their minds.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by aBoyNamedSue View Post
    Not like your profile pic missy! You're cute and you're avatar no longer looks like Joe Elliot.
    Thanks hon, I should totally dress up like Joe Elliot for Halloween....nah, I think I'll go out as PINK! 😀 (can ya tell I'm a fan)

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    If you dress and "present" in a confusing way, you should expect to confuse folks. There's no good gender neutral greeting in the English language so people have to choose "sir" or ma'am". Most employers frown on the use of "hey you".

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
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    Robin
    here is your response...thank you for your order in betweener... have a lovely day

    i believe an actress or singer MC'ing a show said something to that effect...hellow ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between..

    at some time i'm going to have to realize i'm that in betweener also..

    hugs

    niki

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Bin lucky on that one, when I present female it is a feminine pronoun or nothing.

    In guy mode occasionally I get misrepresented .....But I don't care...
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    Vespa Vixen AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Just as "Ms" took the world by storm several decades ago, I propose that we have a new term for when people aren't too sure of your gender status. A blend of Sir and Madam.
    I present, Sadam! I can foresee zero problems with this term, feel free to spread it around.

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    Angela, you are kidding right?

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    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    One time I was with my previous girlfriend and we were traveling. MY lips were dry and I asked if she had any lip chap. She said sure. I used it and later had to pull in for fuel. I payed the guy at the counter and he called me sir. I had five day beard growth. I went back out and said he gave me a bit of strange look. I looked in the rear view mirror and my lips were red. LOL she gave me red lipstick for my chapped lips. At least I did not have mascara on. Is that a hint of lipstick?
    Part Time Girl

  16. #16
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    If I were to ever grow the stones to venture out in public dressed, i'm sure I would present as a hijabi because i just love when I wore my hijab for photos I posted to the picture gallery.

    Going out as a hijabi might be hard enough in and of itself but then to be addressed as 'sadam'...

    I'm not really feelin' it.
    I am not a woman nor am I am man... I’m an enby. Hi, my name is Wren.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    If one presents conflicting cues, one should be expecting to be gendered both ways.

    A couple of weeks ago I dressed in khaki cargo shorts and a t-shirt. Studs in my ears, hair in ponytail, no forms or makeup. Went to breakfast with Mimi. Was referred to as sir throughout. Went earring shopping afterwards, Ma'am it was!
    Eryn
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  18. #18
    Aspiring Member MelanieAnne's Avatar
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    Well Sir, I'd like to address that issue.......................

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by aBoyNamedSue View Post
    Going out as a hijabi might be hard enough in and of itself but then to be addressed as 'sadam'...

    I'm not really feelin' it.
    LOL! Sorry Sayyidah, you know I work with a VERY attractive lady who happens to be hijabi and the visual that brought made me laugh my boobs off 😁

  20. #20
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    Why do people need to gender everyone? When they hand you your change what is wrong with just saying "thank you, have a nice day" instead of "thank you sir".

    Also, when a sales clerk approaches you, why can't they just say "hello, can I help you?" instead of always adding the sir/mam.

    What is most annoying is that if you watch male sales people in action they tend to only use "sir" for men, but not use anything for women. They will say to women "can I help you?", but for a man they will say "can I help you sir?"

    aaaaagh!

    For folks like me that are feminine presenting males, I don't like sir or mam, but if they have to choose I prefer they use "mam".

    Also, cisgendered baby boomers in their 50's don't appreciate sir/mam because it makes them feel old.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 10-30-2015 at 01:18 AM. Reason: Word filter
    You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.

  21. #21
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie001 View Post
    Why do people need to gender everyone? When they hand you your change what is wrong with just saying "thank you, have a nice day" instead of "thank you sir".
    It's the scourge of teaching children to be polite -- they keep on doing it. Keep in mind, they're the "normals" we're not. They're trying to interpret what they're seeing in their normal frame of reference and in the split second they have to adjust their "thank you <pronoun>" they take their best shot. I think absorbing it is on us -- you can correct them or you can let it pass but they're not wrong for following the rules they were taught. They were just taught the wrong rules.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 10-30-2015 at 01:20 AM. Reason: quote had been edited

  22. #22
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    I like to frame it in the perspective of the SA/shop keep/clerk...

    *calling a sir a sir...no problem
    *calling a ma'am a ma'am...no problem
    *Calling a ma'am a sir...a problem for sure but not not likely a trip to the E.R.
    *Calling a sir a ma'am...a problem that could result in a trip to the E.R. ��

    I'd call this person 'sir'...I think? Dude is lovin that massage! ��

    2015-08-28-11-46-03--778869580.jpeg
    Last edited by Robin414; 10-29-2015 at 11:19 PM.

  23. #23
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robin414 View Post
    LOL! Sorry Sayyidah, you know I work with a VERY attractive lady who happens to be hijabi and the visual that brought made me laugh my boobs off ��
    Ha ha ha!
    Glad someone got my humor.
    *Sayyidah tugs at her hijab like Rodney Dangerfield does his tie and in her best impression*
    Tough crowd here i tell ya. Tough crowd.
    I am not a woman nor am I am man... I’m an enby. Hi, my name is Wren.

  24. #24
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie001 View Post
    Why do people need to gender everyone?
    As Jennie posted, to be polite. And respectful, especially if they are addressing a person older than themselves. It also lessens confusion. You and your wife are in a restaurant. The waitress says "May I take your order ma'am?"

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member MelanieAnne's Avatar
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    " but for a man they will say "can I help you sir?"

    It's just a common courtesy expression. Deal with it.

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