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Thread: My boyfriend won't tell me the truth

  1. #51
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    As you see Tammy there is no one right answer because we are all different and there is no one size fits all solution.
    Being a CD or even transgender is a very hard road to go down.
    Would I have chose to be a CD no of course not what guy would?
    Being gay doesn't make it ant easier either so I have the double whammy working against me because gay guys want a guy not a guy that is more female than male.
    I think trying to get him to view this site would help him a lot it sure helped me.
    He has probably seen all the trashy porn CD sites and thinks this one is just like it but its really not like that at all we are here to help each other.
    Maybe just leave this site open and let him find it.Perhaps he will see your post and see you are trying hard to understand whats going on with him.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 10-30-2015 at 08:23 PM.

  2. #52
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    One thing that concerns me is that he was on a dating app, not a site, which would be bad enough. If it is one of those apps that is used primarily for one time anonymous hookups (something that young people seem to be knowledgeable about but older people not as much) I would be more concerned about that than anything, much more so than the dressing. If he is cruising around for anonymous sex, he is putting you at an increased risk without your knowledge or consent.

  3. #53
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    It's clear that he is in control of this situation. You said "he demanded to know what was wrong" and "he forced me to tell him". But he won't do anything he's forced to do. Like be truthful with you. This is a one-way deal. His way.

  4. #54
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    Wow Dana, that sounds like a great idea and id love to work my way up to that with him. Though I feel maybe that's not in the cards just yet. He has a hard time getting to that level of intimacy and openness.
    Tracii, I also thought of that, I kinda want him to find out I'm on here but I'm nervous as well.

    Vickie,
    I'll be damned if I'm wrong by saying this but If there's anything I'm confident in, it's that he hasn't cheated on me and won't. The dating app is bothersome, believe me. And the dressing is something that I have accepted after months, and i only wish I had found out in a better way but I didn't.
    However there's been various occasions where I come home and the bedroom door is locked and he won't open it for a minute or two while I hear him opening and closing things.. I should have known something was off the first time that happened. I just figured he was watching porn.

    but I'll never know why he joined that app until he opens up. I haven't found anything that would indicate that he has cheated or will and I am here with him 6 days a week with a similar work schedule and I just really don't think it's because he's looking to hookup. I really think he is craving some kind of attention since he's not comfortable enough to get it from me yet. But then again maybe I'm a fool and I'm wrong... I hope not.

    Nicole, I agree with you 100%. The situation is in his control but I'm hoping maybe I can change that over time. I hope maybe right now he's just guarded and on defense. But at the same time I have grown A LOT in the past few years and especially in the past year. He's always had the upper hand I feel, and I slowly feel
    It becoming equal in who has it control. Not yet, but it seems like he is realizing what I mean to him the past few weeks since things have gotten tense. He sees that I'm hurt and that I'm almost distanced from him at times.
    I don't know, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but when everything happened he said he would never want us to break up, that he wants a future and I know sometimes people may just say that but I felt like he meant it. I think even though he hasn't opened up to me completely, he told me he's never been so close to a person before.
    I just still don't know what to do.

    . I know it needs to be addressed in some way. Maybe if the dating app wasn't involved, I could give it a lot more time. But I feel
    Like a lot of you see it as a huge problem and now I'm questioning if it could be...

  5. #55
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    Don't wait weeks or months. this issue needs to be discussed. Be loving, but you have to be getting him to talk

  6. #56
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Hi again. Perhaps you can simplify things a bit. Obviously not being fully truthful is a great obstacle and it should be. He has essentially put a wall or barrier up about all this. I would suggest that perhaps you let him know that as long as he does this, you have to pull back somewhat. You leave the relationship intact, yet rather than be so stressed, hurt, filled with negative emotions. Perhaps seeing you pull back may help him open up more. Oddly enough, it can be the quiet pull back that often brings more incentive. For whatever reason, that seems to get to people more so than anger resentment and other negativity. Hope it turns out well for you.

  7. #57
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    Hi Tammy,

    I'm no expert on these things but I can tell you that having a woman support and encourage dressing is a potent elixir for me and I'd guess for most CD's. If there is any way you can break the ice and tell him that (the communication does sound difficult) I would do so. He doesn't seem to realize how lucky he is to have you, and I just hope that both of you can work this out.
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  8. #58
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    My strongly held opinion...

    You're very young and very early in a relationship to be this far behind the eight ball. If you're not totally fine with being with a man who spends the rest of his life trying to look as much like a woman as possible without totally crashing his male persona, this would be a good time to get out. Let's just assume he's not gay (he's likely not). Let's also assume that he'll never cheat on you. Even though I didn't grow up in an era with dating sites, I can imagine that this is a modern way to toy with the idea and see if you're as hot as you imagine you are, with no real follow through. What I can tell you is what it was like for my once-supportive (ex) wife, and this is not a matter of conjecture. Imagine yourself 20 or so years down the road and raising a family. Your husband's highlighted hair down to his bra strap, curly or straight depending on his mood and whether you're going to dinner or to the PTA meeting. His side of the vanity has more makeup and more hair curlers and curling irons than yours. He has more women's clothes than you. His skirts and dresses are shorter and his heels are higher. He wears a bra and panties even to work. You fear somebody innocently patting him on the back and feeling his bra strap. You can see the outline of his bra, and pray that others can't. His body is completely shaved. His nails are excessively long, and he wears polish every time it's just the two of you together. He's obsessive about getting mani-pedi's and having his brows done, even more than you.You know that it's inevitable that someone you know will see him at the nail salon or hair salon. You feel like you're sleeping with a woman every night. Your vacations together are all about him having an opportunity to wear things that he's not out enough to wear around your home town. Your hear comments from your friends and family. Some of them avoid being around him. They think something must be wrong with you to stay with somebody like him. A lot of people avoid you and him entirely. Nobody is welcome to stop by your house without advance notice. If they do, you have to cover for him while he changes, and you hope he doesn't overlook something when he finally comes out of the bathroom.

    There are women who tolerate it. Situations where the good far outweighs the bad. Some who even enjoy it. Some who manage to overlook it. Some who think they can... until they can't. He may be a wonderful husband and father in every other conceivable way. I was. But, if the rest of it isn't your thing... just be aware. This is real life.

    The part about him denying when he's obviously caught... That's one of those stupid things that people do. Such a ridiculous reaction. It's not only embarrassing to get caught, but embarrassing to deny it, yet we persist. This doesn't just relate to crossdressing. Years and years ago (keep in mind I was out to my wife) I pretended to leave for work when she did, but I came back, dressed, and went out for the day. Later she found something I left in one of her pockets and confronted me about it. The problem wasn't that I dressed, it was that I pretended to go to work (so I was goofing off while she was working) and that I wore her clothes (I had plenty of my own). I denied like crazy, and I was so obviously lying. Stupid.

    Probably partly because my marriage failed, I LOVE to see those who succeed! There are several example on this forum. When it works, it's the most wonderful thing life has to offer. Just go into this with your WIDE open.

    One other thing. I'd caution against falling for the "feel sorry for me" ploy. He's depressed, or other wise dealing with something deeply troubling and the prescription is wearing dresses and makeup. That's manipulative. I can be hard as hell to just admit the he just inexplicably enjoys wearing dresses and makeup (etc.) for no explainable reason. We can feel like there has to be a reason for the unexplainable, and it might as well be something that elicits sympathy.

    Y'all have a lot to overcome, and a lot of soul searching ahead. I wish you the best.

  9. #59
    Member Anne K's Avatar
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    Excellent advice, Rhonda!

  10. #60
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    Tammy, prior to coming out to my wife, I had been desperately hoping that she would ask me about it. It was simple embarrassment and cowardice on my part. Had she asked me, I would have been embarrassed and grateful of the opportunity to talk about it. I can understand that your boyfriend is embarrassed but with an open door, I can not imaging anyone here NOT wanting to talk. Now, lying in the face of obviousness is a red flag to me. Being on a "dating site" is a HUGE red flag. Why is he on a dating site when he is dating you?!?!

    You've given him several opportunities to come clean and he lies. He needs a bigger kick in the head, something like, "Honey, when you are ready to tell me EVERYTHING about your cross dressing, give me a call. Until then, I am moving on." Sometimes, ultimatums are the only shocks to the system that can get through.

    Best of luck,

  11. #61
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    Wow, more great advice from more wonderful people. I appreciate everybody here.
    The last few posts from people have taken a different turn and are forcing me to think more deeply into this.

    Rhonda, I've been avoiding these thoughts for a while. I'm going to be completely honest here, and I'm going to say ahead of time that I don't want to offend anybody, & that I fully support all of you and who you all truly are as people.
    But the truth is that although the dressing does not bother me, I honestly don't think I could be with somebody who truly wants to be a woman 100%. I'm not familiar with all of the terms, but I'd be okay if he wanted to be a part time woman I guess if that's the right way to put it. But if this were to consume our relationship, and if I felt more like I'm with a complete woman rather than at least a part man, I don't think It would work.
    Everything Rhonda said is scary to think about. I don't think I could handle it if it got that far. Does it get that far for most CDs? I'd really like to hear what the extent of the crossdressing is for all of you.
    I actually was planning the ultimatum for this past Wednesday but I found this website the night before and I decided to wait.
    I need answers. I need the truth. I don't know what this means for him and I'm sure he doesn't either but I want him to bring me along for the journey for self discovery. Even if we ever did split, I would be more than happy to be his friend.

  12. #62
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like you have a pretty good handle on your thoughts.
    I certainly am not a great one to be giving advice, But I feel you should have
    a good talk with him and find out what he is thinking, where is planning on going with all of this.
    keeping in mind, he may not know for sure, what he wants and how he feels this will turn out.

    But you also need to know where your relationship is headed with him,
    If this is something that you wish to deal with for the rest of our life or if
    he will become a friend and you can find a better partner.

    Either way it would be best for both of you to get this out in the open,

    just my
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  13. #63
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    Miss Tammy, girl i would have to agree with most of Rader's comments here, you must look out for yourself, He should really talk to you, not everyone has a woman that will share the time with us girls, i lucky that my SO knew before we were married and for over 25 years now, and she lets me be me most of the time, but you have to love and do what the other want too. So he really need to talk to you, and learn that he is a very lucky person to have you in his life, I wish you the best and pray that everything will work out for you, hugs girl.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  14. #64
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Tammy, Wow more has come out and that is troubling. Here is my take, You are distant from him and trying to find a path back to what you once had. I mentioned the Friday night thing as it is a romantic time for a couple to renew their week and romance. However, try it this week. You set the rules. Do not force talk. Feed him some grapes. Little talks and enjoy each other. It accomplishes two things. One he is going to think that you really love him. Two, it may open him up in a week or two. But take small baby steps. Tell him that you are there for him. Tell him about your confusion in two week but do not touch the cross dressing. But in perhaps three weeks and you and he are getting close again. Broach the subject and have him dress for you. If he does. Embrace it and say you will help him. And hey take me to a movie as our girl self and we will be two ladies out. Perhaps you and he can go shopping. I must say that you do need to do something. It seems that he is pretty private and it is hard for him to open up. But really we can accomplish better things with honey than we can with vinegar.
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  15. #65
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy494 View Post
    Everything Rhonda said is scary to think about. I don't think I could handle it if it got that far. Does it get that far for most CDs?
    There aren't a lot of good statistics on male crossdressers. Some small-scale studies have been done that concluded that the majority are heterosexual, closeted (i.e. don't go out dressed) and not interested in transitioning. All you can get from this forum is people's individual stories, so it's good for getting a sense of the range of behavior, but not good for prediction of another individual's actions. So we can tell you all about ourselves, but it won't necessarily mean anything in regard to your sweetie. You have to get that information from him and, honestly, he might not know the answers. That's where gender counseling would help both of you out, but again, he has to want to do that.

  16. #66
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    Hi Tammy, I think you should just grab the bull by the horns. Try remember his style from the clothes you found and go buy him an outfit, this is how my wife convinced me she was happy to share this part of me. Now only a few days later and already we are swapping clothes.
    If you do try this and if he excepts your gift then maybe ask to borrow something out of his box. I don't know if this works for everyone but it worked for me. I went from having nothing and in the last few days I have a wardrobe that's filling fast, think my wife is enjoying it more than me, we play dress up together and we even have a laugh compeeting for who looks best in what clothes. ofcorse i look best lol. Remember he is hurting and his mind is racing just as much as yours, just be gentle with him and don't get angry at him if that's possible.
    I hope it works out for you.

    Wishing both of you the best future you can have together,

    Anton jon

  17. #67
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy494 View Post
    "... I'm going to say ahead of time that I don't want to offend anybody, ... I honestly don't think I could be with somebody who truly wants to be a woman 100%.
    sweetie, i don't think you're going to offend anyone with a statement like that. I would dare say 99% of the those who have fully transitioned (meaning hormones, surgery, the whole enchilada) would not blame you even the tiniest bit for saying you would not want to be with somebody who wants to be a woman. I've been following the thread from the since you started it and don't recall you saying you are bisexual or even curious about being with a woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy494 View Post
    Everything Rhonda said is scary to think about. I don't think I could handle it if it got that far. Does it get that far for most CDs? I'd really like to hear what the extent of the crossdressing is for all of you.
    There is a joke/one-liner told around here that goes: what's the difference between a CDer and a transwoman? The answer: two years. I'm not sure how that joke grabbed any traction ever.... because it's the furthest thing from the truth. Many CDers (this one included) have absolutely no interest in fully transitioning. We simply like to wear clothes that were intended for women to wear.
    The extent of my crossdressing is that I hope to someday share it with my wife. Yes, I am married have a kid, am straight and the furthest I hope to go with it is have fun being feminine and that my wife would be able to share in that fun with a new girlfriend every once in a while.

    The part of your thread that concerns me the most is what was the actual intent of using the dating app. The worst case scenario is that he hoping to find random hookups that would lead to YOU catching something that would lead to severe health problems.

    I wish you the best. Know that you have found a group of "ladies" who I am certain are trying to give their best, honest and most sincere advice for your (as well as your boyfriend's) well being.

    Big hugs,
    Sayyidah 'Sue'
    Last edited by IamWren; 11-01-2015 at 03:44 PM.
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  18. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy494 View Post
    What I have come to from everybody's advice is that, although he is not ready in any way shape or form, I do need answers.
    What type of answers do you feel you need. If it's why he crossdresses, I don't think he can tell you. Or do you want to know why he posted the pictures. And even if you do get answers, they do not guarantee changes in behavior. So what you really need are changes in his behavior. You want him to stop hiding and lying because you want to know that he values you as much or more than he does the crossdressing. You want to know that you can meet his needs more than strangers on the internet.

    I've gone through the rest of your post, and these are the options you wrote:

    1. Holding off for a little bit even though you know you will not be able to last months or years longer for the truth (What truth ... why he does this? He likely doesn't know).
    2. You do not want to push because he told you angrily that he would never do anything he is pushed to do.
    3. Showing him this site.
    4. Lightly asking him about counseling.
    5. If you show him this site, possibly take space away from him a little bit.
    6. Taking a lighter approach, although you're not quite sure how to go about this.
    7. Work on taking care of your own needs.


    Let's look at these, one at a time.

    1. Holding off will only work if you think that he recognizes there is a problem in your relationship, and you trust that he is actively working toward solving it and he will either change his behaviors on his own, or talk to you when he wants to discuss any solution he will have found. So let me ask you ... do you think this scenario is realistic?

    2. You do not want to push because you are afraid of making matters worse or losing him. Well, "pushing" would be demanding that he should dress in front of you, or demanding that he show you all the messaging with the people on the dating site, or demanding that he throw out his clothes, delete the dating site profile, and promise to not ever dress or think about dressing again. You are not wanting to do any of these things, you just want him to value you enough to stop hiding and lying. So do you think you are "pushing" him when you let him know that the hiding and lying (establishing your boundaries) is hurting you and your relationship?

    3. Showing him this thread is one way of letting him know your inner turmoil. It certainly would be a conversation starter that might bring about eventual changes in behavior.

    4. Counseling is a good option too. But I'm curious as to why you specified "lightly". Do you think that telling him you cannot live with the hiding and lying (again, defining your boundaries) is being over-bearing? Do you not have needs in this relationship as well?

    5. I'm curious as to why you feel you might need to take space away from him if you show him this site. Are you afraid he will be angry with you for wanting to resolve a situation that is causing you a great deal of anxiety and stress? Are you afraid he will react violently?

    6. Taking a lighter approach, might be buying panties or other clothes, or offer to paint his nails, etc, and just having fun crossdressing with him. Given that he keeps denying that he crossdresses, do you think he is ready to turn this around and relax enough to have fun crossdressing in front of you?

    7. This is the one thing on the list that you do need to do, whether it is picking one of the solutions that would begin to lead to some sort of resolution (#2-this is not pushing, #3, #4, or #6), or walking away from the relationship because you are afraid of displeasing him by telling him you are not OK with the hiding and lying.

    I'm sorry to be harsh, but you are the one who came here for help with a situation is causing you anxiety and stress. Your bf's current solution is to continue doing what he is doing, without involving you. So I'm pointing out that the situation will not resolve itself without any action on your part. My opinion? Tell him that you love him but the hiding and lying is cutting you to the core. And invite him to read this thread. He can be assured there is no way that anyone here can find out who he is, since none of us know who you are. I know the prospect of doing this is scary, but to do nothing will only make matters worse.

    OR ... you might choose to do nothing and try to eventually become OK with the hiding and lying. We do have couples who are in DADT relationships (don't ask, don't tell) where the wives have found ways to compartmentalize the CDing and completely ignore its existence, which makes it easier for them to not face their anxieties, fears, and stress.

    Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
    Reine

  19. #69
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    "But the truth is that although the dressing does not bother me, I honestly don't think I could be with somebody who truly wants to be a woman 100%. I'm not familiar with all of the terms, but I'd be okay if he wanted to be a part time woman I guess if that's the right way to put it. But if this were to consume our relationship, and if I felt more like I'm with a complete woman rather than at least a part man, I don't think It would work."


    I would not worry too much about him going too far- it could happen but my sense is that if you could truly have a representative sample of males who like/need to crossdress, you'd find the great majority don't take hormones, don't go full-time and keep it at a point where most acquaintances do not even know.
    That said, I do see a lot of issues. You guys are really young and since you've already been together for 4 years this is likely the only real significant relationship you've had. That in of itself can be a challenge. I assume you were in, or just out of, high school when you two got together. As you grow up and continue to mature there will be many changes. For any young couple to have a decent chance to survive and thrive as they go through these changes requires a lot of communication, respect and honestly. So far he is not giving you that - I suspect a lot of the reason may come from just being too young. At 24 it is pretty easy to take a great girlfriend for granted while focusing on one's own issues. He needs to understand what you need in order to continue with him and I think you need to be clear about it. As many have pointed out, you can't fix him but the two of you can support each other if he is willing. I don't know if he will do it, and I seriously doubt he'll do it unless he feels he is on the verge of losing you, but it has to happen. Unless you can break through this wall (soon), I'd move on. Don't waste your 20's trying to fix him - you'll regret it.

  20. #70
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    Tammy - Why would you want to tolerate someone who lies repeatedly to you? Why would you want to be with someone who might be bi-sexual if that is not OK with you, and won't discuss it with you,? Why would you want to be with someone who is on a dating site, and denies it? Why would you want to be with someone who won't open up to you? Do you think he is going to change? Do you think he will be honest about other issues and problems?

    You have been more than understanding but take care of yourself. I would think you can find a boyfriend who can offer you honesty, and intimacy - someone you can trust.
    Last edited by heatherdress; 11-01-2015 at 06:14 PM.

  21. #71
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    Tammy,
    I may not have been clear. I'm not transitioning. Not then, not now. Never intended to. I DID push things way too far, and did all those things that I described and then some. But, this was all within the parameters of merely being a crossdresser. A damned dedicated one, but still just a crossdresser.

    Although it was clear to me what I was and was not, my wife, after a few decades of this, came to believe that I was a woman. I guess in a way that's what I wanted, or thought I did. I learned to be careful what I wish for. She didn't want to be with a woman, and finally reached her limit. I suppose she'd been unhappy for a long time, but hid it well.

    Most do not do as I did. Most stop well short of that. They'd probably like to, but they have a little more restraint than I did. On the other hand, some go even further. Still under the umbrella of crossdresser, not transsexual.

  22. #72
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    Hello Tammy I would like to respond to alot of issues your having with your boyfriend but I see your not able receive private messages.

  23. #73
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Hello Tammy,

    I am delighted to have met you through this forum. You seem to be a delightful person and express your concern so well. You have received lots of advice from so many people, most of it very good and it should help you do decide the course of action.

    In her previous post Rhonda Jean presented a scenario that might be somewhat frightening. Keep in mind that not all crossdressers are like that. I`m not sure (perhaps you are not too) to what extent does your bf crossdresses. There are countless varieties, perhaps as many as there are CDs.

    I, for one, am what is considered ``man in skirts``. I do not attempt to look like a woman, do not use makeup, jewellery, or women`s shoes. I have a moustache & goatee. I wear lingerie, nylons & skirts. I consider myself a man, perhaps not overly mucho, bot not effeminate either. I feel more comfortable in such attire than in masculine garb.

    Perhaps your BF falls into a similar pattern and does not want to be a woman.

    You are a fantastic woman and I wish I had known someone like you when I was your age.

    Good luck,

  24. #74
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    I agree with heatherdress. Look for someone you can trust.

  25. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy494 View Post
    ... I'd really like to hear what the extent of the crossdressing is for all of you. ...
    Tammy, I thought I'd answer your question but remember everyone is really different. The umbrella, "cross dresser" might apply but there is nuance upon nuance. When I dress, it's all or nothing, which means clothes, makeup, wig, the full monty (well, I guess the inverse full monty). I do this on average, twice a month. When I dress, I prefer to go out but that doesn't always work out. Sometimes, I just sort of "practice" makeup techniques or creating an outfit (this is way harder for a guy than you might think.) My wife if perfectly comfortable with me being dressed in front of her. We've been married over 25 years and she has known for only about 5.

    Now, with regard to some of the comments here, I can not imagine a worse thing than putting yourself in the position of buying him clothes or taking any responsibility for his cross dressing. You are doing everything you can reasonably do already: you have opened the door to open discussion. If he can't talk to you, he does not deserve you. I like to ask this this question about people to remove the emotional component: if he were a stock, would you buy it?

    Best of luck, Tammy

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