I haven't posted anything here in quite some time although I have done a lot of reading here. I have to say that everything I've learned here finally gave me the courage to tell my wife of 16 years a couple of months ago. She was absolutely shocked, but seemed to have a pretty positive reaction. I described to her how it all started (over 40 years ago), the items I like to wear (mostly lingerie and occasionally outfits with short skirts) and how I only do this in the privacy of our home since the way I like to dress would be inappropriate for my age and weight in public (with the exception of occasional underdressing). I also let her know that I don't try to look or act female while dressed (no makeup or wigs ,etc.), I just like wearing female clothes. She seemed pretty enthusiastic at first, saying "I want to see your things!". She also said "It's harmless and it makes you happy!" I explained that I had kept everything hidden in a box in the corner of the basement and was going to ask if I could possibly keep them in a drawer in our room, but she suggested that very thing before I could ask. At that point the conversation ended.
A couple hours later, I asked her if it was actually OK if I put my clothes in our room as she suggested, I got them and asked her if she wanted to see them. She saw many of the items and seemed somewhat less interested by this time and had little to say other than "I'm not ready to see you dressed yet" which I pretty much expected and completely understand.
So now, a couple of months have gone by and things seem pretty much the same - she is still the same absolutely wonderful woman I married and I try to treat her the best I possibly can. Not much is said about my "hobby" although one of us may make a joke about it to the other, it's like a special secret the two of us now share. I've let her know over and over how much it means to me that she is so understanding, she actually let me order a French Maid outfit online and let me know when my package arrived. I told her that the house will be sparkling clean, as she knows I love to dress and clean the house, and she often comments that "I see the maid must have been here today." (She works days and I work evenings, so I get ample time to dress.)
All in all, I feel so much better now that she knows and wish I would have told her years ago, but I know now that I just wasn't ready. She was fully understanding that I didn't tell her sooner and actually apologized to me because I was afraid to tell her. She has proven to me that she is with me to stay, no matter what. She still hasn't seen me dressed yet although I keep hoping she'll ask - I may suggest it soon but if she refuses I completely understand. I'm completely willing to take this as slow as she needs, I think that the thing that keeps our marriage so strong is our complete respect for each other.