Help and advice

[Jess6887]

So my girl friend and I have been together for almost a year and we live together, before we met I always wore a satin nightie to bed but when I met her I gave it up, well giving it up is harder then one would think, as of late I have had urges to start doing it again, I haven't touched her stuff as it is hers and I respect that, but I want to tell her I want to do this,

Basic back ground, she told me she watched a documentary about lady boy's and found it interesting and have watched other things that have appeared on YouTube and the news about transsexuals, So my understanding is she finds it interesting from what she has watched, so with that in mind would you think she would take it alright or would allow me to wear a nightie to bed?

Any suggestions and advise would be good

[Nadine Spirit]

Depending on how well you two communicate already about other issues you could just tell her what you stated in your opening paragraph. If you two can speak well to each other then your relationship should be able to withstand this conversation.

Though most likely you will get a variety of other opinions about the doom and gloom of what could happen.

But I will always stand by honesty as being the best possible option for both of you.

Good luck.

[LisaKarenAZ]

I agree with Nadine on the communication, as this will be the bigger indicator that she might be open to discuss the topic. I wouldn't gauge her openness of you wearing a nightie simply by her interest in watching TS related shows. She could be completely open minded about the topic, but it may be different for her boyfriend to be interested in feminine things.

Example, my wife is extremely open minded about the LGBTQ community, it is a completely different story about the man she married.

[ChristinaK]

I'm not going to advise you on the subject, but here's how I did it with three wives. I started with panties and not the frilly kind. I just put them on under my jeans, then when it was time to fool around, surprise. It worked well for me. Later, I wore nighties to bed, again without asking, but tried to be discreet by being under the covers first. Again, it worked well. My current wife took a little time, and I'm not allowed to wear nightgown anymore, but women's satin or nylon pajamas and sleep shirts are fine.

I probably don't communicate well and try to avoid conflict, so that's why I did it that way. Instead of getting a no, and discussing the issue, or arguing, I just did it and it worked well.

Many here will say that's exactly the wrong thing to do and it probably is, but I've never been accused of being a rocket scientist.

Good luck. Please let us know how it goes.

[Jenniferathome]

I have to echo Nadine as well. But keep in mind that what she finds interesting about "others" does not equate to you. She is vested in you, her reaction can be different. Now, even with that stated, you want to tell her on your terms, not by some bad accident....

[Jazzy Jaz]

I agree with Lisa and Nadine. A bit of advise that I will give though is that if most of her education/exposure to our community is specific to transsexuals and that doesnt apply to you then I would be sure to explain the concept of the spectrum and where you feel you fit so to speak so that she doesnt jump to the wrong conclusions. Good luck and I hope it goes well.

[melissa247]

maybe watch the johnny dep movie ed wood and during it say..what would you do if you saw me in a teddy at nitetime?may get an honest answer..you may get a wtf look and "are you serious" attitude too so at least with this you can maybe break the ice a bit to ease into it..ed wood was straight,liked women and dressed like a femmy lady.and found a woman to love him so it can happen.a few others here have had good luck.

[Dana44]

One thing I did was at about six months came out to my girlfriend. It does take a lot of communication and she never thought about before. But after a lot of discussion, things got a lot easier and now it is no problem if I wear a nightie to bed. In fact she asks me to sometimes. Also dressing is no problem. We go out as two women a lot. But like others said perhaps watching a movie and that might break the ice.

[MarinaSweden]

Yes giving up is difficult, that's for sure.
In my opinion, you shouldn't read anything in to that (her reactions to a movie or such) when it comes to her feelings towards you. It might very well be that she will disapprove very much.

So I don't think you should start by asking if it ok to sleep in a nightgown the first time you bring it up.

Well I am no expert of course, but this is my way of looking at it.

But let me say this. You have this side of your self. If you tell her now about the feminine side of yourself, it might very well end up with you loosing her. But I don't see you are going to make it through life giving it up, so instead of letting it get to you for so many years and finally after let's say 10-15 years telling her and it ends in a divorce at that point, much better finding out now if she can live with it or not.
If not, you will have to try to find someone else. Then you can, even if it might be tought today, say she isn't worth you. Cause that is the truth. If she do have an open mind, and accept you as you are, so much better finding out now instead of in 10-15 years keeping it all bottled up inside.
Tell her now, but don't start by asking her if you can sleep i nightie. However nice to sleep in a nightie

[Vala]

Well since I have a thread about my divorce I might be the worst advisor in the room but I would try to poke the bear from behind a fence. In your case I would ask something like "a read a piece about crossdressers and thought about you and that you find it somehow interesting. And I was wondering whether you would find it interesting if I would wear . ."

[AngelaYVR]

Perhaps by telling you that she has watched those things she is trying to give you an opening?

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Bedroom is a bad place to start. Too much emotion and symbollism around it.

I suggest starting by talking to her honestly about your crossdressing in general- and take it from there. If she responds positively, go into more detail about what you enjoy doing.

Honestly? If you must wear a nightie to bed, try to keep it to 1 night a week, or you risk weirding her out.

Just because she might say she accepts your crossdressing, doesn't mean she wants to be shacked up with a girlie. If you value your relationship, take it very, very easy- from what I read in this forum SOs often start out saying they're ok with it, but it turns out they're not.

[ChristinaK]

If she does say yes, like Nikki said, keep it slow. Sometimes they say yes to please you, then at some point have had enough if you overdo it. That's a bad thing. Been there, done that. It becomes difficult to win back the ground you lost in that situation. Good luck.

[trishacd]

Depends if your willing to gamble.I would not try to force it on her.

[heatherdress]

Jess - As most have said, you should have a simple, honest discussion.

If wearing a satin nightie is the extent of your crossdressing, she may be understanding and be fine with permitting you that simple pleasure. But you also might face non-acceptance, anger or fear. If crossdressing is important to you, do the best you can and good luck.