Sex with men?

[Devi SM]

I've read about tucking, it was really helpfull for me.
I've read about support of your SO, about telling your couple about you cding, but I haven't read about sexual activity with men and if your wives know about it. I'd like to hear about it because I'm thinking to share my cd hobby, that at this point is more than a hobby for me. Being a cd is part of my life and I feel frustrated that I can't do it with freedom. I feel bad hidden it from my loved wife but I know is gonna be hard for her because we are from a latinamerican country and just last years they are open more to homosexuality but being straight and cding, being bisexual and like sex with my wife but with men too is something I haven't heard here.
So as always, I expect.you honest and open shares...

Vanessa.

[Dana44]

Read the thread "Have you been with a man." It is full of information there and some like me who is BI, have come out to our SO's. Now that don't mean I get to do it. LOL My SO does not like to share but has acknowledged and may sometime in the future , Yeah uh huh let me have a male. But you know how that works.

[StephanieinSecret]

I'm also bisexual. I've dated men and women. The trick is not to date both at once! There are couples who "swing" and have open relationships, but I prefer monogamy. If you haven't discussed something like that with your wife before you get married, well...you may have a hard road ahead of you.

[Jane G]

The most important thing in any long term relationship, is honesty. If your SO is happy with it then fine. Other wise your are asking for a troubled complicated life. To be honest I think my life is complicated enough already.

[flatlander_48]

Towards the end of my first marriage I did have intimate relations with other men. I enjoyed it and it seemed very natural to me without any shame or guilt associated with it. While it was a factor that led to the divorce, it was one of 3-4 and not the biggest. However, in the 10 years I've been with my second wife I have not sought out anything outside of our marriage. Not saying I wouldn't, but as J G said, it is asking for complications and I'm not willing to invest effort in it.

However, in spite of the sex scratching That Itch really good, I never desired a long term relationship with a man. It would seem to much like living with myself, the way I see it...

DeeAnn

[Pat]

Being bisexual doesn't mean being promiscuous nor does it mean that you can't have a monogamous relationship. Heterosexual guys have monogamous relationships with one woman despite being attracted to many, bisexuals can have a monogamous relationship with one person despite being attracted to many. There's just a bigger field of people to be attracted to.

[Andrea2656]

Vanessa

CDing and having sex outside a committed relationship are two very different things. This is certainly not my interest. I enjoy being with my wife and have had sex crossed dressed ( though it is not her favorite thing)

[kittie60]

Well this tough for me to answer. For me I have been out with men. I guess you could call them CD admirers. There was know sexual activity at all. What are u really looking for,casual relationship, discrete relationship, or some other form of it. I take it your wife doesn't know. I would break it to her as gently as.possibly. I know from experience it's not going to be easy for her. Whatever you decide to do good luck. Also as being out with men it was fun haven't done anything with one yet but you never know. Best wishes to you

[Sarah.Jane]

I never have had sexual activities with men, I have a long term female partner

[Adriana Moretti]

I am single....and do my thing...boys, girls, cd's...whatever....but i know on the party circuit there are a few married gals who play , they get one night to squeeze all the girly fantasys in like dressing, dinner, dancing,partying, and fooling around like a 20 something....and on Monday they are back in the office like nothing happened never to show face again till the next party. This is a minority though, the majority are straight and happily married and have no intrest in such things.

[jessica_brink]

I'm straight, but when I'm dressed as a girl I do get these thoughts of being with a man. I didn't have them at first but they've grown over time. When I'm in guy mode I hate the idea, and when it would come down to it I probably wouldn't be able to do it, but still I fantasize. I think it has more to do with the full experience of being a woman, which includes pleasing and being pleased by a man.

[Jamie390]

No disrespect to anyone... but I Ike women. Well, one in particular. Never had any attraction to men,

[Sky]

Vanessa,
Like the British philosopher Mick Jagger used to say, You can't always get what you want.
If you're bi, it would be great to be able to come open to your wife or SO, and be accepted just the way you are. However, it is not a constitutional right and should not be given for granted. My wife is a conservative person who would not even want to hear about my cd'ing, much less my bi escapades. So I keep my mouth shut, and try to make sure none of those damn fake nails get lost in the car floor, only for her to find them later. It's not a perfect world, but then again why should it be?

[atlflygirl]

I'm a gay guy and have sex with men on a regular basis (well, less frequently as I get older), but I must admit that using my feminine side has had its perks. The guys I have slept with as a girl were very straight, and one guy I dated as a boy took me as a girl one night while I was dressed in my lingerie and kept growling about what a pretty girl I was as he took me. That one experience utterly spoiled me. Every crossdresser deserves to be treated like a lady at least once in her life, and that night was like a dream come true. I continue to chat with transoriented men online and want so much to be that woman they all want. Just need to work on the makeup and lose that gut!

[Devi SM]

No disrespect to anyone... but I Ike women. Well, one in particular. Never had any attraction to men,

So do you experience your cding? Don't you feel more femine and the more you dressed more femine and better to feel to the point to experience the summit of cding that, for me, would be a man being attracted to me and fulfill it on a sexual relation?

[Pat]

Vanessasissy -- I often blather on about how transgender should describe you, not define you. The same can be said of being bisexual. You should be who you are / do what pleases you and if on reflection the things you do fit the definition of bisexual you should use that word to describe yourself (brevity is the soul of communication, after all.) But you should never do something because you are bisexual. There are no duties associated with being bisexual, least of all duties to have sex with anyone. I'm sure there must have been bisexual monks who never had sex with anyone. That said, if you are bisexual and you do feel an attraction to a man while you're dressed and there are no other complicating factors -- go for it! You don't need permission. And if there are no "complicating factors" you don't need forgiveness. You're just being who you are.

I would say that if you only feel attraction to males when you're dressed, and you've never done this before, you should approach this carefully because you may shock yourself when you have an encounter. Typically nothing bad happens other than panic followed by guilt, shame, and lengthy explanations (I hate the explanations -- look, you were bi-curious and now you know; move on) but there's always the potential of something worse happening.

[Mink]

well it's kinda like guys who are married or in a relationship with a gf who digs women too and he enjoys the idea of her and another gal!

except totally not like that because when it's the guy who wants to do stuff with a guy it is 100% sign he is gay and she must not allow it!

or so the legend grows!

[Jazzy Jaz]

I don't think you sound crazy Jaylah. I think the main point that I take from your story is that you and your wife both knew of the activities that each of you were engaged in and it was all agreed upon. Niether you or your wife were in the dark about the others activities.

[Tracii G]

Krisi I totally agree it IS cheating.
Maybe I'm old fashioned but I have yet to hear Vanessa use the word love.
I have to have deep feelings(love) for someone before I engage in intercourse.
I have had several great boy friends and it took me a while to get to the point where I felt right going all the way.
Using CDing as an excuse to have sex with a man while married to a woman is just wrong.
Love honor and cherish doesn't seem to mean much to her.
OK I made another honest post so I'm ready to get slammed for it. Pile on ladies.

[Jazzy Jaz]

I like Jennycd's post. I have told my gf that I am semi bisexual but I am in a loving commited relationship and would never hurt her or breach the trust we share.

Vanessasissy, there are many cders who are straight and have zero attraction to men. Sexuality and gender identity are totally seperate, just like a lesbian has zero attraction to men even though she's a woman and may feel feminine. Hope this helps.

[Jazzy Jaz]

For once I agree with you Krisi!

[Robin414]

I personally am not attracted to men but I admit I have gad a weird dream where I was about to make out with the male drummer in a band...but I think that was just the girl in me taking over...I woke up before we did the deed! I like women myself, mostly cuz I can relate!

[Krisi]

I'm not sure exactly what you are trying to say or ask, but for me, no, I have not had sex with a man. Strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig does not change my sexual desires. I will admit to wondering what it would feel like to be a female and have sex with a male but since I don't have the female parts to do that with, it must remain a fantasy. Yes, there's one form of sex I could have with a man while dressed, but as I posted, strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change my sexual desires.

Two more things: I am married to a woman and plan to remain faithful to her and I have no practical way to approach a man and offer to have sex with him. The married part is far more important.

Having sex outside of marriage is cheating. It doesn't matter if it's with a woman, with a man or with a man while dressed as a woman. It's all the same. I can tell you from experience that even if you don't get caught cheating, once you do it, it stays in the back of your mind and you will feel guilty about it.

Tell your wife about your crossdressing if you can, but don't try to take it any further (sexually) unless you want a divorce.

[Jacqueline StGermain]

I 100% agree with Tracii G
( hey, that kinda rhymes)

[LydiaL]

This particular thread has less to do about a CD having sex with a man than having sexual activity with another while in an existing relationship.

Always dangerous. Do not do it, will almost certainly break up the existing relationship.

If a CD is single and is looking to explore sex with a man, then go for it.