I want to start off by saying that this may be unique to me based on my location and the ultra conservative beliefs prevalent in the area but I have often felt like an undercover operative among the rest of the men I am around on a daily basis. Let me explain: especially within the last few months I have lost count of the times that cd/transgender topics have been brought into casual conversation, almost always in some derogatory way. It could be something as simple as Bruce/Caitlin Jenner jokes, seeing an androgynous person somewhere and speculation about gender and then jokes, or any one of the many transgender references in television (most recently the Trans character in Orange is the New Black). I find myself really uncomfortable in these situations for two reasons, first, because I feel bad for and sympathize with the target of the conversation and second because they're ultimately talking about me, just the hidden version. Obviously, to be undercover I am still closeted to these people. I don't participate in the activity...usually I either display a reasoned tolerant point of view to these people or try to ignore it (if its more peripheral to me). I have even had a long, cordial discussion with a man that disapproves of transgender people (thinks of it as mental illness) and really posited some new ideas to him which I think made an impact. I often wonder what they would think if they realized all this time they had had one right in their midst, privy to all this intolerance. I mean, even my dad is guilty of doing this stuff. These are otherwise very nice people...they just hold very intolerant views on this subject, mostly out of ignorance and general repulsion at something they dont understand and consider weird. I'm curious, can anyone else relate to this?
