Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 84

Thread: if you were growing up today, would it be different?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    oshawa, ontario
    Posts
    763
    i am pretty sure i would but it would depend on my family and how they thought about such things.

  2. #27
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    1,297
    The path not taken. Not only in this instance but many others. Who can tell what we would have done when. But what I do know is that I have been blessed with a wonderful life; family, friends, etc. Like everyone I've had my ups and downs and regrets as we all have. Life's experiences, good or bad, make us a better person if we lean from them. I have fond remembrances of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future.

  3. #28
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    South Western PA
    Posts
    24,704
    Today. Pretty sure in would have elected to transition. Maybe between High School and College. Go to some women's preppy college far away from home and start a new life. Yep.

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member Cheryl James's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    S.Florida
    Posts
    626
    If there was such a thing as a "do over", I would transition in a heartbeat. As a young child, teenager, and, even, as an adult, I would go to bed and pray that when awakened I would be a girl. I knew from the earliest of ages that a cruel trick had been played on me. On the otherhand I would have missed out on being a dad to two wonderful kids. I would have missed out on being an accomplished athlete (although, I could do that as a female, I guess). But, to wake up everyday in ones own skin would be a dream come true for me.

  5. #30
    Reality Check
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    8,842
    Angela has a good point and it's something I have thought of. Would you trade your life for that of a transsexual woman? Would you not have your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and your career?

    It's easy to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence but sometimes we forget that it's pretty green on our side as well. And that's a really big fence to jump.

  6. #31
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    out and about
    Posts
    1,291
    If I knew then what I know now and with the current society being more aware of the issues, yes. I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a girl but that idea was not entirely welcome in the 1970's.

  7. #32
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,799
    then again who is to say your life would not have been far MORE awesome? You could have adopted children, or worked in a shelter. You could have mentored kids. Maybe you would have married the perfect man (or lived with the perfect woman, maybe even your wife). You could have had an excellent career even in your current profession. You could have saved a house full of puppies from a fire. Life is what happens while you're waiting to die. Think this way, the people who would have transitioned may have gone on to a fuller and better life. The grass is on both sides of the fence but the fence may have a gate on the other side to worlds you never dreamed.

    I am transitioning, so the point is moot. The question, like PaulaQ would have been when. And getting back to the above, prevented a life of fear and confusion. I won't say a life wasted, I am awesome at what I do. But I could have been awesomer if I had transitioned...or I could have settled into a routine normal life. The main point is that I would have been happier with ME.

    I remember early in my life here saying things like "I'm too old" "I couldn't do that" but here I am. One person asked me "And how old will you be tomorrow? Will you get younger? If you need to do something do it today." Life is short. It took me a couple lessons to learn that. My advice to those following is do what you NEED to do to be happy. If you are happy, those around you are happy. Those who can't be happy for you, thank them for being part of your life and move on
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  8. #33
    Non-binary/Questioning
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    380
    If I had known then what I know now, I would have begun actively questioning my gender identity in my teens rather than at 50. I'm still not sure if I'll ever transition (I think not) but at least I'd have figured it out much earlier in life.

  9. #34
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,912
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi
    Would you trade your life for that of a transsexual woman? Would you not have your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and your career?
    I'd make that trade in a New York minute. Even if it meant being murdered by an unknown assailant at age 35, or dying from breast cancer at 50. I want a real life - not the imaginary thing I had that barely exists anymore anyway - a son who doesn't speak to me, an ex who hates me, lifelong "friends" who have no use for me now. A career that grateful though I am to have kept it through transition, is completely joyless to me.

    For all of you who say "I'm too old now." I'll just say two things.

    I've had 25 year olds say the same thing to me - do you think they're right, because I don't.

    It's only too late to transition when you are dead.

  10. #35
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,756
    I was given a crazy amount of freedom with clothes, hair, nails, etc. when I was growing up, which was in stark contrast to the zero tolerance my parents had for other things. I think if the internet had been around then they would have been terrified by what my choices indicated. I think in many ways ignorance was bliss. I doubt I would have been allowed such freedom if they'd been better informed. I'm one of the few who'd say I think it might be worse now for me.

  11. #36
    Member vicky_cd99_2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    255
    That is a hard issue to tackle. Having the same body not a chance. My life while it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions has been great. I might tweak a few things but without being in a different body I think I will stay a part time girl.

  12. #37
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    I've been dabbling in women's clothing since the late 1950's. Sure, I'd feel better about myself today, if I was starting out today. However, that perception is based on enduring many decades of self loathing, questioning my sexuality, etc. Would you really know who you are or what you are now, if you were a teenager with no experience? There is still a lot of negativity in society concerning anything but heterosexual males and females. There may be more of the appearance of acceptability but there is still a strong undercurrent of negativity. You make reference to transitioning. From my personal observations talking to others who do not know I am a crossdresser, there is an acceptance there are men and women who are born into the wrong body. People seem to agree it is a genetic mistake. Most people I encounter just accept gays and lesbians are here to stay whether or not they understand or agree with it. Crossdressers? Society is not ready yet to encounter and accept crossdressers on a daily basis.

    Personally, I am a plain vanilla cross dresser who has no desire to transition from male to female. I am content to who I am.

  13. #38
    Member KristyPa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Pittsburgh,Pa
    Posts
    104
    I think it is easy to say once its to late to say yes but I also don't know what I would do. I have thought about this off and on all my life .Dressing as a girl has been with me all my life I don't think I would have went full time because of having a good paying job and family.
    I love to dress its the most exciting thing I do. I got married at 22 and divorced at 28, dressing had nothing to do with the divorce. I dressed in secret all my life never went out in public until I was 35 and love every time I did. Now I have a live in girlfriend and cant go out so I really miss it.
    If I could have changed things first off I would never have married her. I was young and let her pressure me into it. I would guess I would have met someone else and married her.
    To finally answer the question I would not have chosen a life as a girl over my male life and my female life when I choose to.

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Out
    Posts
    560
    I woke up this morning thinking about this thread, and a favorite line by Jackson Browne keeps rolling through my mind, from Running on Empty:

    Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
    Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive

    Unlike many of the comments here, I don't have children or a notable career to show for my compromises, only a lifesaving marriage late in life and a number of useful distractions.

  15. #40
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    E-cent. FL / Arlington VA
    Posts
    2,177
    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    I was going to ask if we thought a few lives would have been saved from suicide if it had been more common. But even today, trans children are taking their own lives.
    Yes, Lena, this is a sad fact I think we too often forget. Times may be changing, but the reality is still there.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  16. #41
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    35
    I thought of it when I was younger but no, and no regrets either. I 100% agree with Blue Orchid "....happy having the best of both worlds".
    Information is not knowledge / Knowledge is not wisdom / Wisdom is not truth / Truth is not beauty / Beauty is not love / Love is not music / Music is the best - FZ (Except of course for Dressing)

  17. #42
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Northeast Pa near NJ and NY
    Posts
    10,444
    Firstly I would have come out at a much younger age. Were I in my late teens or early 20's I would be out and about all the time.
    As for where that would lead?? Well, if I felt as I do now, I'd be in the same place. Content to dress and be me with a twinge of "what might have been". But...I don't know. With all the freedom, information and acceptance today there's an excellent chance I would have pressed on and transitioned.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  18. #43
    Aspiring Member grace7777's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    705
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Angela has a good point and it's something I have thought of. Would you trade your life for that of a transsexual woman? Would you not have your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and your career?

    It's easy to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence but sometimes we forget that it's pretty green on our side as well. And that's a really big fence to jump.
    Well for me I have never been married, no children. friends come and go. So then there is the career. I would think I could have been an accountant as a transwoman.

    If I had transitioned at an early age, maybe I would have more friends. I would not be facing the gender dysphoria I face now. Also, maybe being who I truly am would have allowed me to be more successful in my career.

    Life has not been terrible for me though. The reality is I have the life I have and I have to make the best of it, and I do intend to make the best of it.

  19. #44
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Hampton Roads, Virginia
    Posts
    6,639
    I love my life now. I wouldn't transition, but I would take better care of myself and would be a slender man and svelte woman. I love my male life, but I love dressing up also!!!
    Please call me Lisa!

  20. #45
    Senior Member Ally 2112's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    1,307
    I have been back and forth on this question for years at this point i say no .For me it way to much to handle and i don.t think i could deal with it
    I have a hubcap diamond star halo

  21. #46
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Prospect, CT
    Posts
    2,476
    If I was to magicly be a teen in this time period, stripped of any memory of my incredible wife, kids and grandchildren, I would transition. That being said, I was born in 1949 and the next few decades made that chose a non-starter. The few Transexuals that came into the news where always exposed in the Supermarket Tabloids as oddities. I remember as a tween buying any paper that had Cover stories about April Ashley or Tula et al. When the general public talked about them it was as if they were talking about some side show. I could not handle being an outcast. Young TG's have many more options today with more families being open to their needs, the best example being Jazz of reality TV fame. She is one lucky girl.

  22. #47
    Member Jacqueline StGermain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Denver area
    Posts
    137
    I'm also with Acastina on this.
    Had some great times as a guy, tough times as well. I guess that's typical of anyone.
    That being said, and hindsight is always 20/20, I would have absolutely WANTED to, but reality would have gotten in the way.

  23. #48
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Out
    Posts
    560
    One thing that may be overlooked in this discussion is that, until just a few decades ago, crossdressing, even in private, was or could be considered a criminal offense. New York, for example, required that one wear at least three pieces of gender-appropriate clothing. A variety of legal theories supported these laws, from disorderly conduct to the prohibition of disguises to offending public morals. The results of an arrest and conviction could obviously ruin lives and careers and marriages a lot more than simply being out can do today.

    So it wasn't just the kinds of social disapproval that we still face today that inhibited children from expressing the forbidden transgression of gender norms and parents from meaningfully recognizing that their child was fundamentally different. We all owe a lot to pioneers like Virginia Prince and the Stonewall rioters and countless, largely anonymous others who sacrificed and fought, won and lost, countless battles large and small to drag western culture toward a greater enlightenment on the complexities of the human condition.

    It's one thing to venture out fearing only that the neighbors will notice or you'll be recognized by someone you know, that you'll be verbally abused or laughed at. It's quite another to end up in jail for trying to be yourself in ways that obviously mean no harm to others.

  24. #49
    Member Lena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    423
    Acastina, good points. Sad but true points.

    Me personally, I would have thought very hard about it but I don't have the courage for that drastic of a change. It would have been nice to have been accepted because of my natural features. I constantly had my family telling me to act like a man. Walk like a man. Talk more masculine. Stop playing with dolls etc.

    I'm very happy where I am now and I've finally stopped trying to act like someone else. My kids are raised, I have a stable job and happy married wife. I wouldn't do anything now to mess that up.

    And maybe if things had been different, I wouldn't have had to go through the alcohol abuse stage or the self loathing. Back then, if you were different you were alone. Now, with the internet, you can always find at least one like minded person.

    The only thing different I would have done is come out to my wife earlier and embraced this part of me.
    Last edited by Lena; 11-18-2015 at 09:43 PM.

  25. #50
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,587
    I'm really not sure. I got into CDing as a fetish in my early teens, so I'm not sure if that follows the typical TG/TS pattern. But, I knew that my dad would have been really upset if I turned out to be a girl, so I probably repressed a lot og my TG feelings then, and I would probably repeat that.

    But, I would have told my wife before we got married, and she has said that if she knew this about me, she wouldn't have married me.

    So, who really knows where I would be today.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State