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Thread: This is how its done.

  1. #26
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It may be too outgoing and a little over the top, but it does work, smile be happy and keep others at ease.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  2. #27
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    i think most of the disgust here with Amanda is she sounds/acts gay. There I said it.

  3. #28
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Wind it in Tracii... There isn't anyone here who has mentioned the word or expressed disgust at what Amanda is doing or how she's behaving...

    You've presented this as a model of behaviour and attitude and no-one is knocking her outgoing, friendly approach - simply saying that this isn't necessarily an absolute model is not being negative: it's being pragmatic. If I have any issue with your post it's the position you take with this statement:

    ..for you that don't go out or those wondering about going out. Amanda shows how its done.
    I wouldn't be encouraged to go out if I thought that this was the only way to present in behaviour, attitude or dress - and what's good for Amanda in her home town is clearly not the same everywhere and for everybody. If you're trying to make the point that confidence, friendliness, a big smile and positive engagement is a good way to get out, then that comes across - but it's not the only way, and it's not necessarily the best way for everyone or every environment.

    Nobody's knocking you for posting the video - it's not you and it's not your video. The opinions that others have regarding the stereotyping are perfectly valid and do have an impact on public perception - and let's not forget we are different and something of an unusual niche on this forum. I really like the idea of a body-hugging mini-dress for me... until I have to go out... Then my level of comfort is about trying to be a little classy... and maybe sexy too... But most of the T-girls at clubs make Amanda look quite conservative... Realistically the proportion of 'fetish/sexy' T-girls versus 'blendy CD/TG' types is not likely to change radically and so public perception will be determined very much by the former... (that heavily outweighs the latter, I believe) I suspect we'll be fighting that one for decades...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  4. #29
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Tracii, I didn't get a gay vibe from her. But, I think she would do much better if she stopped all the forced feminine mannerisms: the overly animated arms and exaggerated body movements, wiggle, constant pointing, little jumps and bending knees, little running motions, vocal intonation and expression, brushing her hair back, etc. Women just don't act or speak like that, if you compare her to the women she interacted with in the video. Effeminate gay men don't act like that either. All these things (plus the high heels & short skirts at her age) make her stand out as a CDer more than anything else in my opinion.

    I'm glad that she is enjoying herself though. Service personnel are very tolerant with CDers, although they might giggle a bit over the exaggerated mannerisms. She will come to no harm. And she does have great legs!
    Reine

  5. #30
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    OK OK I get it.
    We all have seen effeminate gay men that act that way and I know a few personally that do.
    All you guys want to do is pick apart every little aspect of her actions and the way she dresses, that wasn't my point from the very beginning.Holy freaking moly!!
    I wasn't saying it was perfection y'all stop beating a dead horse here.
    I never said act like her did I? All I suggested was be friendly, interact and don't be afraid to just be yourself.
    I'm done trying to make my point........................and people wonder why members leave here?

  6. #31
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Well, she does have a lot of self confidence and she clearly enjoys interacting with others, and this is a good thing.
    Reine

  7. #32
    Member MichelleDevon's Avatar
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    I haven't watched the whole thing but what comes across to me is what I try to do when I go out. We are, in essence, acting. We are being someone different from our usual persona. So you think yourself into the role and you just go out there and be natural. I go out wearing clothes appropriate to my age and to where I am going and what I am doing. I might criticise Amanda's choice of clothes but that is personal choice. But I applaud the way she deals with real life. Tomorrow is going to be a Michelle day for me...I will go out to the shops late morning and I will be Michelle - I will be acting that role. I will not feel self-conscious, I will not be apologetic. I am 6'4" and I'll be wearing shoes or botts that make me even taller but hey that's me, that's Michelle. The world can take or leave me; I look people in the eye, I talk to them (in my deepish north of England accent), I don't try to hide. Imagine being on stage in a production - that is what you need to do; that is what Amanda does, and does it well. Doesn't matter if she sounds gay, who gives a flying f***? She is acting the part that she has identified and she carries it off so well. And that is what to do - THAT is the message to take from this vid clip. Decide what part you are playing and just go and do it...hell, it's actually incredibly easy after the first time.

    I would happily take each and every one of you out on the streets of any of my local towns and show you how easy it is - the world doesn't care. No-one is going to slag you off. Much more likely you will get complimented because that is how people are. I've been up to London on the train (3 hour journey), I've been to York and travelled back from there by train (5 hours) and I have walked around as Michelle and nowhere in 8 years have I experienced any antagonism. Look at Amanda - she is HERSELF, she doesn't care what anyone else is thinking. The angst is in your head - it's the same nervous excitement that you get when you are appearing on stage or in front of other people - it's all in YOUR head not theirs.

    As the strap-line for a famous brand of sports wear says "Just do it"

    I promise you it's easy and you will enjoy it soooo much

    Michelle
    xxxx

    P.S. And I'm still only on the first glass of wine!!!!!

  8. #33
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    at least she left her closet right?? I give her credit for that....LOL XOXO

  9. #34
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    I did post this to show you can have a good time CDing if you just don't take yourself too seriously.
    Try to look the best you can and have a little fun.
    that she did. I may never go out in public again. Was she trying to get someone to out her? The airplane directing hand motions were...well over the top
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  10. #35
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    I did post this to show you can have a good time CDing if you just don't take yourself too seriously...
    I think this is the whole point of the video. Whether you like her style or not, she is out there...the batch, botch, betch, butch, oh damn her!


    Quote Originally Posted by Hell on Heels View Post
    ...Amanda knew that they knew that she knew they knew she knew they know...
    So let me get this right, you're saying that she knew, that they knew...as above ad infinitum.

    It really is that easy but for whatever reason, it's our own ghosts that haunt us. I know that fear, but I do get out now and then to exercise those ghosts and love it when I do.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    ...All you guys want to do is pick apart every little aspect of her actions and the way she dresses, that wasn't my point from the very beginning.Holy freaking moly!!
    ...I'm done trying to make my point........................and people wonder why members leave here?
    I made mention of this problem just last week in another post, reference people completely missing the point of what the OP is actually saying. It's more the spirit of the vid than the actualities. Keep on going Tracii, some of us love you. But only in a not too gay and effeminate way of course! Oh and seeing as it wasn't asked for and totally off topic, I'm wearing mauve girl undies today.


    Becky
    Last edited by reb.femme; 11-20-2015 at 06:34 PM.
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  11. #36
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Well I've watched and read the comments and I think things got out of hand there for a while. I see your point about the video, and your take on it. She is certainly not my style but to each their own. I'm not a YT watcher and am wondering if there are any vids of CDers going about their daily routine like so many of us do just blending in with the populace in the light of day and in a larger congregation of people. I know I go about my business being friendly, smiling and open to others and if they are not accepting of me than so be it, I have a life and don't have to live up to anyone else's standard of what a man should look like and act. As long as I'm not hurting anyone and, most important, they are not hurting me, I know I'm happy and stress free, the point I believe you were trying to make. Maybe I'm way off base here and misinterpreted you, sorry if that's the case, but you have a happy life and do what you feel you must do.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  12. #37
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I think it's been said here many times if you are going out dressed you should just be yourself with just a hint of feminity,
    I think that's how I try to be and honestly don't know how often I pull it off but I try

  13. #38
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Bah,,Haa,,,Haa,,,, There you Go Shorty,,, Try and Try and Try,, I Really Commend you for the effert I really do,, But there is always a But,,, You have to understand that the Most common element of Gender Dysphoria is DENIAL !!!! An nothing in this world will ever get these folks to agree on the going out thing,,lol,,

    We are all different and have different reason why we do what we do,, I understand what your doing but I don't understand is WHY someone that is Dead Set on not going out would even reply to this thread? If you don't want to go out just STAY HOME ,, This thread is for the ONES that Want to go out an don't have the courage YET!! GET IT ?
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  14. #39
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    Thank you StacyB you totally get it.
    Now go make me some biscuits beotch.LOLOLOL.

  15. #40
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B View Post
    You have to understand that the Most common element of Gender Dysphoria is DENIAL !!!! An nothing in this world will ever get these folks to agree on the going out thing,,lol
    On the Gender Dysphoria, I agree with you. There are TSs who were in denial over being TS for many years (thinking they were CDers). But are you suggesting that the CDer in the video has Gender Dysphoria and she is a TS in denial?

    She may be, or she may not be. But I don't think we can take it for granted that she is. No one here can possibly know what relationship she has with her male self.
    Reine

  16. #41
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Denial is one of the most common symptoms of Gender Dysphoria,,, And no ,, Not the girl in the video,, Members,,,
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  17. #42
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Don't really see what GD denial has to do with Amanda's style, or CDs here who don't go out and aren't TS (or don't identify as TG)...

    Stacy - are you able to expand on what you mean...?

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  18. #43
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Geezzzzzzzzzzz,,,, Talking about the ones who HATE on Tracy's threads about going out,,,Not about the Chic in the video,,,, That just goes to show how people take things out of context ,,,
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  19. #44
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I believe that many of the naysayers have the mindset that you have to dress in certain way (blending in) and act like in a way where people are not gonna clock you in order to be respected as a person. If you watch her videos all the people chatted and treated her with respect. When she first entered the Dollarama, she was greeted nicely just like anyone else before the camera person entered. She does have a knack for small chat that I so wished I could have. She doesn't always dress over the top and do her wanderings at night https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=unha5kwemUE
    It seems like she has an aurora about her that attracts kindness from those around her

  20. #45
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    Thats the point be yourself,be friendly and open.
    You don't have to pass 100% just do the best you can.
    People are going to know you are a CDer no matter how well you try to hide the male in you and thats OK ladies it really is.
    Recently I went to Kohl's with a GG friend and an SA asked if I needed help so I said I think I have it under control. She noticed the GG with me and she asked her the same thing to which she replied I'm fine I have my shopping guru with me.
    The SA said you ladies have fun and if you need anything or a dressing room I'll be right over there.
    We both picked out things to try on so we waited in line for a dressing room and the SA talked our legs off the whole time we waited.

  21. #46
    That guy in a dress Sky's Avatar
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    Watching girls fight is fun.

    (yes it is!)

  22. #47
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B View Post
    Geezzzzzzzzzzz,,,, Talking about the ones who HATE on Tracy's threads about going out,,,Not about the Chic in the video,,,, That just goes to show how people take things out of context ,,,
    I don't mean to upset you, but you were the one who brought up the Gender Dysphoria and I'm trying to understand your context. I see now we both agree that it is unlikely the CD in the video has Gender Dysphoria, although we can't say for sure because obviously no one here knows her (or him).

    So did you mean instead that CDers who say they don't want to go out may be in denial about wanting to go out? If so, why did you call this "Gender Dysphoria", since CDers in denial about wanting to go out are entirely different from MtF TSs who do not feel they are men?

    I picked up on this because the term "Gender Dysphoria" is thrown around a lot in this section, often when it is not warranted, and it may confuse newcomers ... and their wives who are potentially reading this because this section is open to the public.
    Reine

  23. #48
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Everyone on these boards member or guest have Gender Dysphoria in some way or the other,, There are different levels. Not only Trans people have this, Denial is one of the most common effects of it so how could you ever get the right measurement? Crossdressers and trans people alike all suffer from some version of it, But you will never know because of the pressure that comes from family and friends and employers to conform to the norm. Why do you think it takes so Long for most to come out,, Kinda like a Hobby for some of the stronger ones that don't have it as bad and can deny it all the way to the end , Some can let it out and put it back up when the heat gets to HOT.

    There are some that actually do it for a period of time and something will happen to where they will have to put it away and tend to more important things at the moment,, But it always comes back to the surface after awhile. But some have it more severe than others and can't cope with it. Alot of different reasons for it and all are personal for sure. Most people would rather be thought of as normal whatever that is than out of the norm. So they live a false life and tend to justifie there action accordingly . So there is no right or wrong in this,, It's just how you make it ,, Just like going out if you feel fine with staying home and indulging in you Hobby and and never leaving home that's fine. But what I don't get is WHY would someone that is happy staying home want to defend it so much? Just stay home and enjoy, TRacy's thread is about showing the ones that Wish to venture out and not to Push anyone out. She is just showing a different way to go,, If it's not denial than whats there to defend? And RenieD I am not upset,,lol,,, Just making a point.
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  24. #49
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B View Post
    Everyone on these boards member or guest have Gender Dysphoria in some way or the other,, There are different levels.
    Ah. Here's where we disagree. I understand that you hold this point of view because you are TS, but a majority of CDers do identify as male and they have no desire to change this. And they are not in denial.

    "CD - TS" is not a spectrum. There is, however, a "CD <--> CD" (male identified) spectrum where one end does it strictly for sexual gratification and the other end does not do it for sexual gratification. There is also a "TS <--> TS" (female identified for MtFs) spectrum, where one end wishes no body modifications while the other end goes for full body modifications, and this is where you will find the Gender Dysphoria spectrum. There is also a third element, the people who do consider themselves gender fluid (having both male and female characteristics) and I suppose some of these people experience a degree of GD, while others don't. But you will not find a full "CD <--> TS" spectrum for Gender Dysphoria.

    If you like, Stacy, we can continue this discussion in private so as to not further detract from the thread topic of encouraging shy or fearful CDers to go out in public.
    Last edited by ReineD; 11-22-2015 at 03:03 PM.
    Reine

  25. #50
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    Here we go again dissecting minutia and trying to put labels on everything.

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