Ive been trying to reply to this thread for the last couple of days, but I can't seem to put a coherent thought together. I'm anxious as hell right now. I'm working a ton of hours at work through Christmas, you would think that I would be occupied with that and I could put this out of my mind. But it seems to be getting worse.
I'm stuck right now on this idea of self acceptance. I just don't know how I will ever be able to look at myself in the mirror without thinking what a disgusting asshole I am. Do I have to lie to myself until I believe it?.... There is always something that will need fixing or could be alot better. Do I gloss over those things?.... Just say "F it" and that it's good enough? Isn't that disingenuous?... I want to finally be truthful about things and here I am lying to myself and saying that everything is fine and that I am OK?...
It makes no sense to me.