Just Starting Therapy...

[pattied]

Hi all!

Sorry for the new thread, but I was looking for information and this seemed the best method to get it.

I have recently finished the evaluation stage of therapy (they ask all sorts of background questions, etc) and the therapist has determined I am TG and that MtF is not far off on the horizon. I was hoping I could get a basic sort of 'what to expect' thread going, as this is all new to me, and well so many of you have been through it already.

I'll start seeing my TG specialist next month, once a week, but for how long, and what not I do not know. I understand what hormones do and how they are often prescribed, but do not understand when they are prescribed (at what point does the pshrink say, "You should begin now and start HRT.") I have a decent idea about transition. Not that it is the be all end all, but I just finished Jennifer Finney Boylan's "She's Not There" which describes much of the transition process, and does so quite well. (BTW I feel I could have written whole chapters of that book, if you have read the book, did/do you have the same feeling?)

My major fear is that she'll come back to me after some months of therapy and say something like "You're androgynous, not fit for transition, and therefore must live out life as a man." Which, incidentally has been something I have been told most of my life "Dude, your a guy. What are you thinking?!?"

So in closing, if you have advice, suggestions or stories to share, it would be appreciated. I do not have anyone close to talk to about this. I personally do not know any other transgendered people, and really would just like to have a discussion about what I may face in the near and long term.

Thank you for your time all!!!

Toodles!

[MandyTS]

Oh my gosh girl, where to start

I am going to what is known as one of the best gender therapists in the inland empire (Los Angeles, Orange County, etc). I did the whole survery thing and over the first few sessions we talked about the survery. After the third session she said, "don't worry about trying to convince me you are TS, or TG, etc.... the only person that can do that is yourself." I don't get to see her as much as possable, she wants to have 9 sessions in befroe she will even consider HRT letter (usually that is once a week for 3 months, for example). The standards of care state that your should have a relationship with a therapist for at least 3 months before starting HRT. In my case I am getting my letter in March, as for my design is to start my hormonal transistion for my 24th birthday which has significance for me.

She has mentioned that I am different from 99 percent of people who are transistioning. It could be as we have hypothesised that because I am intersexed (and have many female parts in my body already) that I am secure with who I am. What therapy has let me do is let go on the intuitions that have caused me pain all these years. I have said that ever since the second session I have been transistioning, and even now before HRT people are picking it up, mainly through mannerisms and subtile clues like the way I wear "drab - what ever that mean" clothing, earings, etc. I am not afraid to tell people about me and my transistioning. 90 percent of the people who find out about GID are not shocked at all... other than the "you are going to be a tall girl" comments.

Hormones are an inportant step into transistioning, just like electrolysis for those who need it (I am lucky to not have facial hair), but your mind will change and the feminine part of your person will evolve, and become organic. Today I have no problem walking into a spa and asking for color with my pediculre and manacure (subtile of course, but that is another story), getting eye brows wax, wearing androgious clothing, etc. The difference for me is I have become comfortable, and until that happens you are not really transistioning. The worst outlook to have is "I am trans and you will accept me!", but rather to educate people and instead of telling them your are different, telling them you are the same person. When we transistion we change, but the change is only our bodies, the brain, emotions, etc will still be simular as before, for IMO people that are really "girls trapped in the wrong body" or in my case, more female than male intersexed, that the emotions, caring, etc are there from birth... that is what makes us different.

Enjoy therapy and the process, when you think it is taking too long just remember that no matter what age you are you probably have at least 20 years left to live and a few months is just a spec of time in the rest of your life... we really have not wasted our time, but just had a little confusion about who we were for part of our life... for most of us we have always knew we were a girl in the first place...

And leave open the option that you may choose not to transistion fully... that is ok. Good Luck!

Mandy

[pattied]

Thank you Mandy!!!

[CaptLex]

Sorry for the new thread, but I was looking for information and this seemed the best method to get it. I have recently finished the evaluation stage of therapy (they ask all sorts of background questions, etc) and the therapist has determined I am TG and that MtF is not far off on the horizon.

Hey, Pattied:

I'm kind of in the same (or similar boat). I just started seeing a therapist in order to help me determine if I am androgynous or truly need to transition. I understand that he doesn't really have the answer to that question. The answer is within me somewhere and I really hope he can help me find it. So far I've seen him twice and he's definitely convinced that I'm mostly a guy, but the big question is whether I really want to give up the small side of me that is still female. My feelings on this change constantly, and I'm afraid to make the wrong decision.

My major fear is that she'll come back to me after some months of therapy and say something like "You're androgynous, not fit for transition, and therefore must live out life as a man." Which, incidentally has been something I have been told most of my life "Dude, your a guy. What are you thinking?!?"

I think you are what you know you are and not what anyone else might think you are, but it's good to get these things sorted out completely so that there is no doubt left in the mind.

So in closing, if you have advice, suggestions or stories to share, it would be appreciated. I do not have anyone close to talk to about this. I personally do not know any other transgendered people, and really would just like to have a discussion about what I may face in the near and long term.

I'd be interested to hear about your progress in therapy and I'd be happy to relate mine, and maybe we can help each other (and anyone else) to find the answers.

Good luck!

[Kimberley]

Lex,
From what I have read in your postings, you seem to have it pretty much together. You WILL find the answers within. It might take some time but they are there.

It is a long road filled with potholes that we travel.

Best of Luck! Keep us up to date if you like.

[CaptLex]

Lex,
From what I have read in your postings, you seem to have it pretty much together. You WILL find the answers within. It might take some time but they are there.

Thanks, Kimberley. I know I'm as impatient as a little kid - my best friend is always telling me to take it slow, but at my age (45) I feel like I have to make up for lost time. But I am taking it slow 'cause I want to be very, very sure.

[pattied]

Lex,

Thank you for responding. Yes, I do have more than an idea regarding who I am, and where I want to go. And I am female in mind, just not in body.

But like you I want to be sure, prior to commiting to transition. Not of who I am, but all of the other factors in my life, most notably my wife and children. We shall see.

Yes, I would be happy to relate with you regarding the sessions, and what I get from them.

Kim,

Thank you for reading my post.

[CaptLex]

But like you I want to be sure, prior to commiting to transition. Not of who I am, but all of the other factors in my life, most notably my wife and children. We shall see.

Family and friends are also a concern with me, and so is my job.

[pattied]

Family and friends are also a concern with me, and so is my job.

My family is a major concern. My job is also a concern, but not quite as much...

Best of luck Lexy!!! We'll keep in touch!

[alisoncdnj]

Pattied

I can appreciate what you are going through. I have also just begun therapy. I have decided to take on this journey slowly over the next three years. I have a wonderful therapist and a supportive wife. I have known for a long time that I am TG. However, for family considerations I have kept it a secret. My children are now grown and I felt it was time. My therapist has told me the same thing that others have said here, I do not have to convince her, that I am the one that has to be sure. Well this is one thing that I know for sure.

I, like you also do not know what to expect, but I think from what I have read here we will find the support that we need as we begin our journey. I wish I could offer you some advice but I’m in the same situation and I also share your fears.

In addition to therapy, in the next few months I will be starting electrolysis. My Therapist is a well respected in treating gender disorders and has been highly recommended. I have only been to one session and she made me feel very comfortable. I am looking forward to my next session.

I know we have taken the right step by seeking professional help.

Good luck and best wishes.

[pattied]

Thank you Allison!

The clinic I am going to for therapy also came by strong recommendation. The evaluator was very gentle, and I was quite comfortable. I already feel as though the weight of the world is starting to lift, and for the first time inmy life I feel as though I am acepting myself for who I am, not questioning the why and what so much.

I have yet to begin electrolysis, but hope to soon.

Good luck to you, and keep me posted!

[Lauren415]

i know what you are going through, I just started HRT today 2/16/206.