Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 37

Thread: In Betweeners, How Do You Describe Yourselves?

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Eugene, OR
    Posts
    70

    In Betweeners, How Do You Describe Yourselves?

    I'm interested in folks who are not a full out TS, but are not just a guy who wears dresses either. How do you think about your identity, and how do you describe it to others?
    I know a lot of folks say, I am just me. If that works for you, that's great. But I realized that for me, not having a clear understanding of my identity made it harder to reach out to others in social situations. I have been fully out for 5 years. I dress very femme, including at work.
    I called myself gender fluid, but I realize I didn't have a felt sense of what that was. I have a strong drive towards including both the make and female within myself, I have even had dreams when I was a physical bridge between the two.
    But I am nor attracted to androgyny, this gray area between the two genders. I am a strong mix of feminine and masculine aspects. A friend of mine used the term "gender dynamic". That really feels like me.
    I also realize that both in terms of dressing, and just how I am in the world, I am in a phase of strongly exploring the feminine. I have been wearing padded bras most of the time for the last 2 months. And it feels right. I think this femme phase is because I feel full permission to be my male aspects, and I am still freeing my inner woman.
    In a phrase, I am gender dynamic in a femme exploration phase.

    How about you?
    "We are born naked, everything else is drag" - RuPaul

  2. #2
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,377
    Have a look at all the non-binary genders at nonbinarygender.org/wiki

    http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Nonbinary_gender
    Reine

  3. #3
    Member Jazzy Jaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Okanagan/BC
    Posts
    343
    I am bi/dual gendered or androgynous. I am a fairly equal mix of male and female and my gender is not fluid, it is very much fixed. I dont dress androgynous however, I am either dressed completely like a dude or am fully dressed as a lady, except when I get cold and put on a hoodie. Me being dressed doesnt change anything about my personality, I can wear a dress and listen to Tupac or I can wear sweats, tshirt, and work boots and listen to Whitney Houston. Same goes with movies or anything else.

  4. #4
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Usually, wearing a skirt somewhere
    Posts
    1,137
    I don't think of myself as TG, or gender fluid, but as a man who is not happy with what society defines as the rigid boundaries of male and female behaviour. I don't see why a male is not supposed to dress in a way that displays his physicality. It is damn near impossible to find male clothes that do this, so I'm finding women's clothing that works for me. I have pretty good legs, and they look good in a skirt and hosiery, I don't see why I can't wear them.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  5. #5
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    I'm a mix and I dress that way everyday.
    I have a male and female personality and I don't feel the need to try and figure just where I fit in because it doesn't really matter.
    People can tell I'm different and thats fine,I don't need to explain it to them.

  6. #6
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,450
    I have a male personality, he's dominant in the relationship and has most control over the skin bag
    My female personality, was hidden for many decades but is now allowed out, although I think she would like 24/7 and have a boyfriend - not going to happen.
    We both enjoy life and we both "think" to each other, in order to appear "cool" under all situations.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  7. #7
    Junior Member Jonni Lin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    59
    If I had to label myself, damn I hate labels, I would use Genderfluid but I just want to be myself and wear and act the way I want without the fear.

  8. #8
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    7,213
    It takes more than a few words. Far too many people want a term: TG, TS, Crossdresser, Gay, Bi, drag queen, female impersonator, etc.. Problem is, life isn't simple all the time. So if you can come up with a single word for me, great.
    I'm a guy. I think like a guy, my desires are pretty stereotypically male, I behave like a guy. I communicate like a guy, and I only get turned on by the idea of females. However; I have underlying desires to dress, behave, and BE a female. Initially comes from years of believing that I was supposed to be a girl, from about age 7 to 14, as well as linking behaving and dressing as a girl with safety, physical affection and companionship, when none of that was available at home. From about age 10 on, I was reinforcing the concept myself because I believed that was what god wanted me to do, and if I made myself into the best girl I could be, that god would fix me and make me into a real girl when all the other girls started growing breasts etc.. Having sex as a girl for 7 years also made that behavior (also linked to feelings of love, companionship, affection and safety) linked with being dressed and thinking I was female. Apparently something can happen during some stages of development that sets all this into our personality permanently. Without any outside influence after the age of 14, I was basically reinforcing it all myself for years. Decades later by the time I figured it all out, it was too late; the damage was done. I will forever link feeling, behaving, dressing as a female with feeling loved, affection, comfort and feeling secure, as it was those times when I felt that way, as opposed to my 'real' life as a boy, when I was hurt, punished, betrayed, isolated, and made to feel terrible about myself.

    OK, got a word, or a two word term for that? (other than totally *****d, I already know that! And there's usually not a check off box category for that in the online dating questionnaires.).
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  9. #9
    New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    14
    For me it's always not be able to conform the gender established rules.

    Mans we have a pretty stiff and well defined set of rules that is the expected behavior, anything outside of that, is considered Sissy, Gay, Queer etc. I refuse those labels because my behavior and desires even the way that I dress don't define my sex or sexual orientation.

    So, that is the reason that I feel a "Non conforming Gender" mean that I can not be a Female or a Male by the current definition.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Jonni Lin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    59
    Rachel that sounds so much like me? Do you 2 talk to each other also? I do, I think it helps to find ourselves. Another question you living in New Zealand, did you ever meet Grace, from you tube?

  11. #11
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,362

    Both

    India has this concept of dual-natured, a 'walker between worlds'. One who sees and understands both facets.

    I feel like both sides, all the time. I can dip deeper into either well when I need to. Women's guise brings me peace and epathy, male guise brings me strength and dirt. I love both. I *need* both.

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  12. #12
    Daniella Argento
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    522
    I consider myself transgender.
    Some days I feel very feminine, some days I feel more masculine.
    I enjoy being a man (especially at work, when dealing with certain technicians etc).
    On the whole I think I would prefer to have more opportunity to express my femme side but I would never transition just too much cost and risk...
    So transgender is the best and widest term to describe me. I generally don't like labels anyway so the wider and looser the better.
    I would go with 'person' but it seems membership of this club is a bit onerous!

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    954
    I usually shun labels as they answer What are you rather than Who are you.

    On my part, I'm biologically male, occasionally presenting a female appearance that doesn't change my personality or my interests, only my identity. I have zero interest in transition as of now. But because I present myself as a girl and aspire to at least look reasonably like one whenever I get the chance, I guess I'm at least non binary.
    Last edited by Lily Catherine; 11-30-2015 at 10:52 AM.

  14. #14
    Hi, I'm Kate gokatiegirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Freehold, NJ
    Posts
    161
    My first 15 years I dressed every day and lived in my feminine role. When I graduated college at age 35 I entered the workforce as a professional and slightly transformed back to a male. My boss preferred me dressing as a professional male but and left the decision to me. He signed my check and was very good to me so I felt i should comply. I still work there today, 16 years and roll back to female mode on weekends.

    A lot of people don't care for me as Kate and tell me I have split personally but spend more time as a man and I'm good with it. I don't know what the future holds for me or what to consider myself at this point.

    I love to be Kate a sexy, soothe tv with a little bit of play left in her but no longer wear panties during the week. I do know I can roll between genders very easily and work each week for the weekend so I can become Kate again.

  15. #15
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,843
    I would describe myself as a "female impersonator". Altho that isn't completely accurate, I think it best describes how I feel about what I do!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    Me?
    I'm in a rowboat going downstream.

    I just go with the flow.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  17. #17
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    SW England
    Posts
    2,925
    we don't need labels or to explain ourselves, we're expressing what we choose with clothing. If you want then say "call me miss", but nowadays round here folk are not that bothered overall.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  18. #18
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Boston Area
    Posts
    4,099
    I'm happy with the term "transgender." It just means someone who doesn't fit an assigned gender role. Some people confound transgender for transsexual, but that's an education issue, not a problem with the word.

  19. #19
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    484
    The label I embrace is Genderfluid. Some days I'm male, others I'm female, but I'm always myself. Today I'm most definitely female.

  20. #20
    Member SandraInHose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    446
    Interesting topic. I honestly couldn't answer, since I am not even 100% sure about myself.

    I am not transgender, and don't feel I'm a woman in a man's body. But I sure enjoy exhibiting my feminine side through dressing. I also have many fantasies with me in my female persona, probably just as many as I do as a man. I am not attracted to men in any way, shape, or form, but when dressed there is that sense of curiosity that intrigues me deeply. However, that will probably remain a fantasy.

    Me not being able to clearly describe myself nor define myself is frustrating for both me and the wife. When she asks questions about my CD'ing, she's afraid I'll become another Caitlyn Jenner. I try to reassure her that's not the case, but some of my personality quirks raise flags for her, and when I can't honestly come up with a definitive answer, she starts getting all kinds of strange ideas about me.

    So I'm somewhere along the lines of a transvestic fetishist with bi-curious thoughts that confuse me as to who/what I am. That sums it up in a nutshell.
    "Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)

  21. #21
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,615
    I would say definitely I am an inbetweener. I consider myself to be transgender, or at least in the spectrum. I feel I am dual gendered. I feel a presence of both within me. I do try not to use the term female in identification. I mostly stick with feminine as that often, but not always describes me. There are times I feel more feminine than masculine, and other times more masculine than feminine.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    brewerton ny. north of syracuse ny
    Posts
    618
    I myself am transgender. That's a proven fact. Use to hate it when I was in my younger years. Now I have learned to embrace it and.proud of it. No other labels just transgender.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Chicago!!!
    Posts
    839
    I am definitely transgender and feeling more female every day.
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  24. #24
    Trans woman BiancaEstrella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    395
    I find genderfluid works best for me. I'm fine at either endpoint, and there's always crossover with me. It's a mess, but a beautiful mess.
    "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
    Oscar Wilde

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    910
    Quote Originally Posted by litangel View Post
    I'm interested in folks who are not a full out TS, but are not just a guy who wears dresses either. How do you think about your identity, and how do you describe it to others?
    I know a lot of folks say, I am just me. If that works for you, that's great. But .

    How about you?
    Litangel,

    I am always searching for the term that best describes my place in the continuum. My Wife Karen has a good phrase that she will use when we are around people that know about me...She says I'm Reversible! a cute way of telling people that i can be the man i'm supposed, to be as well as the woman i love to be, and she is so happy to have both in her life. So who knows... Maybe you are reversible.

    hugs

    msniki48
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Hugs, msniki48
    Blog
    http://nikishomeawayfromhome.spaces....x?sa=764853634

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State