what kind of man are you without the dress?

[Lena]

I realizedI that use dressing as an escape from daily life. It is relaxing to look pretty and enjoy the softer things in life. I guess I'm a little girl who plays dress up and have a tea party.

That's different from my male mode. When presenting male, I tend to have loose unkempt clothing. Hair messed up and sometimes unshaven.

Lately, I've started trying to get better clothing, calmer work attitude and presentation. So, I'm wondering how different are you in male vs female mode? How would people describe you as a male?

I know sometimes, I wonder if I give off a male or feminine demeanor.

[Danitgirl1]

I am quite similar with some obvious differences:
I wear way more bling when en femme
My make up is quite 'natural' and I don't go too glam (at least not as much as some sisters )
En homme I am nearly always clean shaven, neat and tidy and as smart as is appropriate for where I live.

[CarlaWestin]

En homme, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Slender frame. 5'10" 150#. I don't hunt, fish, off road, camp, sports or any other typical guy stuff.
But, I naturally emulate masculinity. I'm tactile and analytical. I fix things, build things and take care of things.

[AllieBellema]

I'm pretty much the same, quiet, shy and sometimes odd person. I'll watch sports, sometimes get out and do some hiking or bike riding as well.

[Barbara Jo]

I'm also a T- shirt and jeans guy but, not very masculine acting..... but not feminine acting either, just gender neutral I guess.
I was never into sports, etc but, music was/is a passion. I even used to play bass in rock bands when I was younger.

[Sky]

Wasn't there a similar thread somewhere else? I remember answering it recently.

Anyway, I'm basically the same kind of guy. Or girl. Or whatever. I only wear t-shirts and jeans when I'm working in the tool shed or the garden. Otherwise, I go for nice tailored shirts, jackets, dress trousers, and I've been known to wear bicolor shoes in male mode (who says the 1930s are over? Show me a calendar!) And although I don't have effeminate manners I often take "feminine" or neutral viewpoints in culture, politics, etc. Yet I enjoy boxing. (well, you can't be consistent all the time!)

[EllieMayxxx]

Im a jeans and t-shirt guy, they have to be baggy or I can't handle the day. My hair is messy and im un shaven, basically I don't care how i look. Also my anger issues are more prominent when im a man. When i get the time to dress up i am the complete polar opposite, my hair is neat, im shaven, I like the feeling of tighter clothes and i am so calm. It's like an escape.

[Georgina]

During working hours I am an overall type of guy. I am self employed so work long and hard. I don't worry too much about my appearance but I am always clean.

[SandraInHose]

Im a jeans and t-shirt guy, they have to be baggy or I can't handle the day. My hair is messy and im un shaven, basically I don't care how i look. Also my anger issues are more prominent when im a man. When i get the time to dress up i am the complete polar opposite, my hair is neat, im shaven, I like the feeling of tighter clothes and i am so calm. It's like an escape.

Other than the part about the hair being messy (I shave my head), you have summed it up quite well for me, too.

I weightlift, play hockey, hike, and do some 'manly' things, and I tend to be more aggressive, especially when driving or navigating the grocery store or Target/Walmart. (Don't leave your cart blocking the middle of the aisle!)

But dressed up and girly, I'm more relaxed and so much calmer and passive. I hope that someday I can spend my days dressed around the house in front of the wife.

[Laurana]

Aside from tucking in my shirt(and the makeup) everything is the same on both sides of the coin.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lena, When En-Drab I'm a manly man aside from wearing small triple pierced studs I always take pride in my appearance. ~~......

[Heidi Stevens]

When I'm not in Heidi mode, I'm casual but stylish. Polos a lot, non holely blue jeans, higher model tennis shoes. Not much different from my female persona. If I had my choice I'd be Heidi every minute.

[sometimes_miss]

Well as a female I dress sorta' junior style, the stuff adolescents wear. School, cheerleader uniform, things you might see a 14 year old girl in. I will always feel like I'm a girl 'stuck' at that age, waiting for a 'girl' life to continue.
I've had a full time job essentially since I was about 14, and either was working full time and going to school or working two jobs until the day I got divorced. Today I work per diem, but as many days as I did when I had a full time position. I tried being a manager for about 10 years but hated it. My private life as a guy, well a while back I realized that most men looked like crap, and I was just another slob who threw some wrinkled casual clothes on, sort of combed my hair and left the house every day like that. It was then that I decided to 'upgrade' my behavior and presentation to something more like my well off uncle used to be like. Blazers instead of windbreakers, overcoat instead of parkas, leather jackets instead of nylon, dress slacks instead of jeans, button down 'dressier' shirts became the rule rather than the exception, instead of t or polo shirts. Shoes instead of sneakers. Leather wallet instead of the nylon camo one I used to have. It's made a difference, and women notice, as an old guy I get more compliments on my attire than I ever did when I was young. While I kept the 4X4, my daily ride is now a more expensive version of a chevy (read, an old Caddy which looks just as nice as when new but cost less than a new impala). And while I did trade in my beloved digital Casio, it was for another Casio, but with an analog face, and a nice leather strap (guess I'm still kind of a nerd at heart). Taking a clue from the 'dirty rotten scoundrel' movie, I learned to dance and be more polite, avoid swearing, and have become a reliable escort for some of the women I work with when they want a guy 'friend' to go to social functions with. Still, I often feel that I look better than I actually am. But it's made me feel way better about myself so I guess it's all worth it.

[Jaymees22]

As a man my everyday attire jeans and a shirt. As a woman in the privacy of my own home I tend to go a little over the top and if going out try to blend in. Sometimes my fem side must slip through as I do get a yes mam in male mode, yesterday I got a yes miss, I never correct these people, I kind of like it. Hugs Jaymee

[Beverley Sims]

Pretty ordinary as a guy and I try to smarten my appearance up when dressed.

[Crissy Kay]

I look like any other regular guy, on most days. T-shirt, jeans or sweat pants.

[kittie60]

I didnt like myself much when endeavour. That much I remember. Life is so much better now that I'm full time and my attitude is much,much better

[gokatiegirl]

I'm a professional suit and tie guy. At home jeans and tee shirts rule. People call me a metro sexual at work because I'm always color coordinate... little do they know

[Lily Catherine]

I tend to overdress en homme at times - sometimes I'm the only one not wearing a T-shirt. I prefer long sleeved clothing en homme (contrast my preference for strapless dresses), as they make me look less bony. I'm older than I look en homme as well, sadly - while pumping gas the staff wondered if I was too young to drive. Maybe the main contrast between my male self and the self otherwise referred to as Lilian is the silhouette when dressed up.

[Amy Lynn3]

Before I retired a few years back it was coat and tie or no less than dress casual. Now my male self is just the average, but nice off the rack pants. My shirts vary, from tees in the Summer to long sleeve in winter. I still love to dress nice in male mode with coat and tie and good leather shoes.

[IamWren]

Interesting question Lena and I'm curious to see how others describe their male side in contrast to when they present female.

Like Carla I'm pretty tactile and like to fix things. I do a lot of home renovation work on the weekends on my own home and for neighbors (it gives me a little extra cash). And I like it. I like being strong enough to lift heavy things and making grunting noises and when I make things work. When I have time I like to ride my bicycle… hard and fast. And I like being the male my my wife wants when we... well, you know... when we... have a grown folks business meeting.

At my day job, I wear the same six pair of khaki, olive drab, black trousers week in and week out with the same pull over short sleeve shirts that are pretty bland as well. I’ll shave on Sunday night and maybe again on Thursday. I keep my hair cut really short and being really thin on top there are all these weird little crazy hairs going in different directions.

I come across as a hard ass and am kinda strict on my boy but when I’m in the mood to be silly he knows it and has fun playing along with me when I do or say silly things especially in contrast to being consistent on rules for him. Admittedly (and this is kinda hard to say and admit) I have a short fuse and get angry too easily with my wife and the boy. I don’t think it’s about not being able to dress or anything like others have mentioned… I’m just stressed at work, finances, body issues and it getting older and slower/weaker, the weekend home reno work, very little exercise, did I mention finances?

But in the couple of times I’ve dressed, Sayyidah brings out my softer side. I feel more…. fluid instead of so rigid.

[pamela7]

what kind of "person" am i without the dress? The same.

[Saikotsu]

I'm the same me with or without the skirt. When I dress like a girl I tend to go for a tomboyish or big sister look depending on how far to the left my gender identity slider is on a given day.

I should note that 95% of the people I've come out to had an inkling of some sort that I was "something" so there is probably something in my demeanor that tips them off in male mode, but none of us know what it is exactly.

[Lena]

I should note that 95% of the people I've come out to had an inkling of some sort that I was "something" so there is probably something in my demeanor that tips them off in male mode, but none of us know what it is exactly.

That's what I was wondering. Not so much what you wear but how you present yourself. Confident? Insecure, extrovert or introvert? Do you get along better with the men or women? Are you feminine in your daily lives? Do you go out of your way to be masculine.

Do you think they know? When you go walk the dog, do you think they're pointing and saying "look how he walks.". Do your neighbors see it when you're working on the yard?


If there was a similar post, I'm sorry for duplicating.

[xNicolex]

Was a very ''macho man'' up until I embraced my crossdressing but my macho exterior was just a front to cover up my feminine tendencies that would otherwise be noticeable nowadays I am more feminine in man mode than I ever thought I would be but not nearly as much as when I'm dressed then its like shania twain ''man I feel like a woman''