Long hair confusion

[Bethany38]

I have been growing out my hair for some time now. So, the other day I went with my Mother to help her find a new dishwasher. Now my Mother knows about Bethany but does not wish to acknowledge her. I look at this as my fault for not recognizing Bethany sooner, and not bringing her out until my late thirties. Also there is a family history that I will not go into here. Long story short, we went to several stores. Finally, we wound up at Home Depot. She seen the dishwasher she wanted at a good price, because of the Black Friday sale. We were standing waiting for a sales rep. to help us. Mind you my hair was down. Also, I am in no way passable right now. I have a linebackers build, and I am about sixty lbs. over weight. So from the back, side or front, I have no feminine attributes besides my hair. As we were waiting, from behind me I hear a man say, "can I help you ladies." Without missing a beat (and seeing the look of being ashamed and shock on Moms face) I turned to face the gentleman, and nicely said, "well you can help the lady" looking at my Mom. I swear the look on this guys' face was priceless as he took in the growth on my face (about four days on). The poor guy did not know where to go next. I swear I thought he was going to take off stepping and fetching like his head was on fire and his ass was catching. So I could not take it any longer ,and had to let the poor guy off the hook. I looked at him and said, "don't worry about it dude it happens." It just has not happened in years. So Mom completed her purchase, and as we were leaving he told my Mom to have a good day. Then he said, and you have a good day to Sir. I thanked him and told him to have a good day also. On the way out, Mom must not have been to shocked or as ashamed as I thought because we started to have a good laugh about it. With baby steps maybe she will be able to accept me for me. All in all I loved it.

[Krisi]

When I was in my twenties and playing music full time I had rather long hair and was mistaken for a female a few times. Yes, it can happen.

[Tracii G]

It does happen and usually from behind.
I think its funny to see the sales person fidget and get nervous.

[Michelle 78]

Great story, at least you both had a good laugh about it all.

[MissDanielle]

An officer once called me a lady once. I was sitting in the front passenger seat with short hair.

[Allisa]

My hair always gets them, sometimes even from the front, my purse and earrings don't help the matter any. It's always great to help mom, enjoy her while you can and never underestimate her.

[Stephanie47]

Before posting I went to your bio page and saw you're 46. I suppose your mom is at least in her middle 60's. She is probably of the mind set of her age group. Women of her age did not grow up exposed to any alternative lifestyles; gays, lesbians, transgenders and cross dressers. It may be very difficult for a women her age to openly embrace such a radical change to her son. At least you have a relationship with her. My mother, if she were still alive,would probably disown me.

As to the guy mistaking you for a woman based on the length of your hair, well, it is nothing more than what his mindset is use to seeing. I posted a response on another thread recently as to the expectations of passing, if one does not have a Barbie doll figure. Too many are obsessed with that figure and seem to forget there are many many women who are plus size. You call your figure akin to a football player. I see many women who are well built or maybe I should say have put on weight other than in a traditional pear shape. In some respects a crossdresser who chooses her wardrobe carefully may pass because many are just seeking out women/girls with a Barbie doll figure. I went to your flickr page and I think you have very passable facial features and long hair works well.

[Bethany38]

Stephanie you are correct about the time in which my Mother was raised. That's not the only issue she has with me being this way though. As for the Barbie figure I long ago accepted that was never going to be me. The pics you looked at are very old, I was a little thinner then. Since gaining weight I have just lost a little confidence, I am working on that though. As for my passable facial features I thank you, you made my day. Thank you.

[Acastina]

I suppose your mom is at least in her middle 60's. She is probably of the mind set of her age group. Women of her age did not grow up exposed to any alternative lifestyles; gays, lesbians, transgenders and cross dressers.

Careful, now, makin' me feel old. There was enough information floating around in the 1950s and 1960s for those who paid attention or sought it out. Trouble was, a lot of those variations were criminalized until years later.

My wife of 12 years is 7X, and she adapted rather well to her second husband coming out as a CD (and soon thereafter making it obvious that it was cover for admitting he was gay) when they were in their 50s around the turn of the century. She accepted and indulged him, and he pretty much exploited and abused her good nature. The she met me, the one she calls "The Best Tranny", and they parted ways. I'm grateful for his having introduced her to the concept and preparing her to not consider it an issue when she met me. She often counts the ways in which she prefers the way I am to any number of "normal" male partners.

So, no dog is too old to learn new tricks

[Laurana]

Meh. I've had long hair since 1986. If I had a nickel for every time someone mistook me for a girl, even to this day, I'd be rich. It's fun to watch the other person squirm a bit as I have fun with it. The hair got me plenty of free drinks back in the day. And I still get the occasional one.

[Beverley Sims]

Bethany,
I think you will have to workon your mum a bit longer to gain acceptance.

[Carmen]

Bethany how I miss the days of my teens. My hair was always shoulder length, black and somewhat wavy.
Sporting a slender build under jeans and a tee shirt, from behind I was always mistaken for a girl.
Add some makeup and a bra...presto chango instant chick!

[vixenvicki]

It's been happening to me since my teens, regardless of hair length. I'm kind of androgynous looking, so even unshaven it still happens. Every so often I'll keep someone on the hook for it just to amuse myself a bit.

[sbay06]

aren't those surprises in life just the best?! That would make my day!