First time shopper tips?

[tanya_cd]

I know this may seem like a cliche topic and there may be other threads devoted to subjects like this, but I am wondering what tips would you give to cd who is working up the determination to go out shopping for the first time?

While I'm not new to shopping online, it often this leads to higher costs and headaches of getting something the wrong size.
I have been out dressed before in an accepting dark nightclub, but never in a place where people might get uncomfortable. This makes me somewhat nervous.

While I know I will never completely pass, I would like to be able to just blend in as much possible and feel comfortable shopping in the woman's section. While I know wearing 6-inch heels and thigh-his would get some looks, they are not necessarily the looks I want lol, so I know I need to wear something more casual. Any suggestions on what to wear, tips on trying to blend in? Makeup, accessories, mannerisms to adopt or avoid?

Important : Changing rooms. When they are not unisex, where do you try on clothes?

[Amy Lynn3]

It is sometimes hard to get the nerve built up to shop, but I see your method might be made somewhat easier, by going in male clothing.

You state you do not pass. Why not take that worry off the list and shop in drab. I know our mind plays tricks on us and we think the world will end if we shop for female clothing. It is a mind thing for us, as the SA's don't care and actually like for us to shop with them. The reason is they sell on commission. So, as I do....just shop until you drop. If someone is rude, ask to speak to the manager about their attitude. You are not required to state why or who you are buying for. If you want to say....just say they are mine. They have no clue who they are for, so let them assume.

I have never saw a dressing room one could not go in, unless they were marked male and female. If they have a dressing room, you are allowed to use it.

Good luck and go buy all the Christmas things you like.

[kittie60]

Hi Tanya and welcome too the forum. My suggestion is to be casual, subtle makeup and all and go about your business as usual. Be relaxed and don't fixate on other people. Just do your thing and enjoy it. The SA's will help you no problem.you'll enjoy it. Have fun

[Erica Marie]

I have never gone shopping dressed. I have always gone drab and I just take the items I want to try back to the mens dept to try on. If you look confident and not like a creeper no one will honestly bother you. How do they know if you are shopping for yourself or for someone else.

[Debra Russell]

Look around at the way women are dressed where you are going, mimic what they wear - if at all possible dress before you go - if you don't have clothes go someplace like target and try on what you want in drab - they don't care - next of all have fun ....................Debra

[JenniferYager]

Tanya, you'd be shocked as to how awesome shopping is. For starters, unless your photo is totally photoshopped, 99% of people are going to walk right by you and not notice. Everyone is on their darn smart phones these days, you could wear a gorilla suit in the mall and half the people wouldn't notice.

If you want to fade in, just wear jeans and a sweater. You'll look like everyone else. You actually get more noticed in a skirt, but most people just give it two seconds of thought until their brain says "skirt, must be a girl, back to Candy Crush!"

Store associates will not care. They are most worried about theft, so if you walk around all creepy-like, they'll think you're trying to steal something. I've walked up to the Macy's gal (in drab) in the women's section and asked her to start me a room. She had a big smile and said "Of course!" and helped me pick out two bras and matching panties. Makeup is the same way. I personally like shopping enfemme, but I'll go in drab if I don't have time to change.

The only people I'd worry about are teenagers and little kids. Both don't have any impulse control, so you might get the 4 year old that says "Look mom, it's a guy in a skirt!" The easiest way to defuse little kids staring is to wave at them and smile. They like the attention. Teenagers...just avoid. They are a mixed bag, most are fine, but more than a few can be cruel.

I'd go with you if you lived nearby. Maybe we should start organizing shopping trips on the forum, like a big sisters sort of thing?

[CourtneyJamieson]

Tanya, I would encourage you to go SHOP ! Based on your Avatar photo you would blend in very nicely and nobody would even notice you except how nice looking you were. I had the same fears as you. Then I decided to just do it. I got made-up as best I could, went to the mall, walked in and took what would come. You know what....nobody cared. I walked around the mall for over an hour. Not one person noticed me as anything other than just another shopper. You can do the same. I know it. But be careful. The problem now is that, now that I feel comfortable shopping in my Fem attire, I expect my AmEx bill is going to increase exponentially. Just a hunch but I think women's shopping gets more expensive than men's shopping. Have fun on your shopping outing on 01/08. Looking forward to hearing what great items you were able to pick up.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Sorry to respond again so quickly but I wanted to add these tips. The outward appearance with clothes. wig, makeup, etc I don't think is as important as your physical presentation. When I just had my first excursion into a mall I made the same mistakes many of us have made. I held my head down. I walked with my shoulders tight. I didn't make eye contact with anyone. This is the exact opposite tact to take. If you do these things you will get noticed. Once I had my confidence I began walking with an erect posture, chest out, shoulders relaxed, and my chin held up. Though it was uncomfortable, because I felt I was exposing myself more, it actually made me more able to blend in. After I started presenting myself like a true gg in physical presentation I got more confident and never had anyone look or stare at the mall. So, Tanya, it looks like you have the appearance to pull it off. Just remember to be confident and present yourself as a woman in stature. You will have a GREAT time.

[MischaSummers]

I always buy my clothes in drab. I just recently tried on (and bought!) 2 little black dresses at my local Goodwill. If youre in drab, put a pair of jeans or a big flannel shirt over your ladies garments if you're feeling shy about what you want to try on. Whatever mode you're in go in that gender's dressing room. Act like you belong there. Your money is as green as anyone elses. When youre searching the racks, really pay attention to the garments you are interested in, and try not to pay attention to any of the women near you. I'm not sure where youre from, and I'm Californian so nobody really second guesses a guy in the women's aisle. Lastly, if you're really worried about what others may think, go shopping at dead times (usually the first hour the store opens) and don't shop as much in the afternoon early evening.

If anybody gives you a condescending glance, or mentions why youre in this section, just ignore them or say "mind your business" and continue shopping for you. It's not like anyone will see you again.

[Michelle 78]

Hi Tanya and welcome,

I shop as Michelle and it can be daunting at first, but it does get easier to do in time. Being in the Women's section as a woman feels great, I was really scared the first 4 or 5 times, but stick at it and you will learn to overcome the nerves and the thoughts of you thinking everybody is looking at you will fade and you eventually just focus on the task in hand which is browsing the clothes and you will start to enjoy it.

As for what to wear, really have a good look at what the girls are wearing out where you live, especially woman of your age and copy them. Right now Girls are wearing boots with skinny jeans for example with a nice cardigan or coat, this is pretty much what I wore out the other day when I was out shopping. Keep your makeup as light as you can as it is easy to overdo it.

Get yourself a nice bag and a purse too and maybe a scarf as they are really popular right now.

The most important thing is to enjoy yourself, we all get made that is a fact, but just enjoy being you.

Michelle

[Barbara Jo]

Personally, I have purchased everything from panties to cocktail dresses and everything in between while in male mode.
I have bought these items in "big box"stores, little feminine boutiques, thrift stores, etc.
I never, ever had a problem! with anyone, anywhere!

I just pick out or tell the sales person what i want any pay for it..... it that simple
If you act nervous people will pick up on that and might say something but, if you act like you are doing absolutely nothing wrong they are always glad to take your money.

Keep in mid that it is very common for a female to buy male clothes, not for themselves but, for a male in their life. People will just assume that you are doing the same thing... even think you must be a very secure male to be doing so.

Bottom line, no one will say anything derogatory or laugh at you etc .

About the only question I ever had was like from small private boutique owners about sizes.... like for a fancy dress etc.
I always Just cheerfully say that I buy clothes for "her" all the time and never have a problem with sizes.
Once you purchase something from them with no problem with no size issues, you are greeted as a valued customer, even it they think that the clothes might really be for you.

In big box stores their job is to take your money and never insult the customer in any way.

So, get over any unfounded fears and purchase something !

[Lily Catherine]

Above all, look and act as though you rightfully deserve to be there - because you do. Should you shop en femme, it's probably advisable to have all your padding on as that'll be the figure your clothes are meant to fit.

[AnnieMac]

Yeah this is kind of a fun topic. Like probably a reasonable percentage ( I wonder how much actually ) of us here, I am still a closet dresser and haven't really sprung Annie out there to the world much. But I still have a bit of a fear of shopping because of the ridicule and embarrassment I guess. I have actually bought shoes, a dress, tights and makeup in person, in drab though. Funny I have no problem buying any kind of make-up, nor do I really have a problem purchasing tights. Maybe its because I actually use those things male or female modes. I work in media so have often I have had to have a minimal supply off makeup on hand for photo and film shoots, and have bought those things when there weren't for me anyway-so no biggie. I also fly, often on long flights, so because of my leg circulation issues, the tights are often a big help. Also I prefer women's knee and over the knee socks, because mens knee socks flat out just do not fit! S0 no problem buying those either.
Shoes though are a little different. I bought a pair of cute flats and pretty black open toed sling backs at two different times from the same Payless girl. She was so sweet to me, no questions, no weird judgement attitude or looks. Shoot, size 13, she knew they were for me, although I was dressed as a guy. But funny, I purchased some 4" black platform heels from this rather flamboyant(most likely gay, not that there is anything wrong with that ) sales dude from another Payless, and the look on his face was priceless, like OMG these are for you??? Funny you would get that from the alleged gay dude, and not the GG.
But I must say it creeped me out a bit and made me not want to do it again. I guess like one of the above posters says the bravery comes and goes.
Oh yeah and I once bought a couple of pairs of women's jeans because they fit so well! No issues there just took them into the mens changing rooms with my other jeans and they fit great. Because I was checking out with both mens and women's jeans, the SA barely even looked although they did ring up at kohl's as women's

[Michaelasfun]

Hi Tanya,

Start by visiting your proposed shopping venues in drab first, it'll give you confidence thru familiarity both with the layout of the stores and the typical dress of the clientele. Generally, my observations are that casual looks are the order of the day, as well as daytime makeup (earthy, muted tones). I dont use dressing rooms even in drab typically, I kind of know my size just as when I 'm getting "guy" stuff and just hold items up to myself in a convenient mirror to decide if I like it. And, if it doesnt work out after you get it home, you at least have a better idea of the size you need for a given manufacturer, plus you have an excuse to go back to the stores again to exchange, which will give you more motivation to get out again!

[Helen_Highwater]

As usual sound advice about dressing to blend. You don't say where you're based but here in the UK it's winter so you'll see many GG's in leggings or thick tights with flat knee high boots, a sweater dress, possibly jeans, again with boots and a casual top perhaps accompanied by a cardigan. As also stated try to keep makeup to a minimum, pale pink eye shadow and lippy, perhaps a hint of mascara.

It was only just over a year ago when I first walked through a shop door enfemme. No alarms went off, no one screamed or pointed. I stayed calm and began to do what the GG's were doing, browse. In truth I didn't go totally un-noticed. Even in flat boots I'm 5'10" ans so you do tend to stand out when queuing for the tills. However on my first trip a little old lady in front of me saw I had only 1 item and asked me if i would like to go before her. "Are you sure?" "That's very kind of you" and a few other bits of chit chat followed. Engaged with the SA who was polite and professional and left for the next store. Absolutely no dramas.

I did post about a week ago about having never used the fem changing rooms but it is on my todo list but from what many who post here say, it does seem to be a non issue.

Concentrate on your posture so you walk like a GG and not like a stiff plank and you'll be fine. Best of luck, just go for it.

[Nadine Spirit]

Wow. I am pretty surprised at the number of folks who say to go dressed in DRAB. While I have done that, it does not afford the opportunities that going dressed as a woman give. Like trying the clothes on in the store and determining if they will actually fit! Boobs make a heck of a difference in how something fits or not.

Anywho..... I shop while dressed all the time. Though at first it was quite daunting. In terms of passing, I think I pass the glance test. Meaning I pass at a glance, but upon closer inspection the fact that I am male is pretty clear. It has never mattered though. I have always been treated well in any shop I have ever visited. I walk in, like anyone else would, and begin browsing for items I like. Sometimes they ask if I would like to start a dressing room, but more often I go ask for a fitting room. Never have I been denied access to the female area dressing rooms.

As far as what to wear..... I have worn jeans or skirts. They tend to be easier to remove in the dressing rooms. I also wear comfy shoes, like tennis shoes, as I do quite a bit of walking while shopping.

Oh.... And if there was ever any doubt as to my gender they certainly know when I pay using my male credit cards and male ID and still they treat me very well.

[Beverley Sims]

Just go out and buy it and if asked tell them it is for yourself.

I know it's bravado but usually you are not believed and a good joke come at the end of the purchase.

I broke barriers years ago with checkout chicks and actually got a couple of dates into the bargain.

[Robin414]

Hi Tanya, for my first real brick and mortar experience I ordered online and specified 'in store pickup' (Long Tall Sally) and picked up the order en drab to get my feet wet so to speak (that was about a year ago).

The second time I did that I went in and while the SA was collecting my order I browsed a made an impulse purchase of some gloves...the SA clued in and entered my name on the receipt as 'Miss Robin ...', didn't realize until I got home ☺

Now I shop in skinny jeans and very light makeup (powder, mascara, light lipstick) and I'm just another woman shopping...I'm always amazed at how the other women shopping don't bat an eye when I go into the change rooms ☺

[Rhandi Spencer]

This is a great thread by the way.
I have purchased bra's from Kohl's and was so nervous looking at them and then paying for them as well. The SA did not even blink an eye when paying for them.
I have made numerous panty purchases at a big box store and the SA was just taking money. The hardest part for me is looking at the items on the rack to determine what I want. I feel people are judging me, when in reality they don't even know you are there.

Last night I went to Dress Barn to look around. It took me 20 minutes to get the courage to walk in the door. But once I did what an experience. The SA was friendly, asking if I was looking for anything special, and left me to browse. The other women in the store did not even blink that I was in the store. I think the only person that was concerned was me. I have done all my shopping in drab, and have only bought under garments, however that is about to change.
Dress Barn was awesome and I will be going back soon.

Randi

[Cdcdgirl]

Don't worry about it the first time I was shopping. I went to New York and company and after looking around for a few the sales lady asked if I wanted to try some stuff on. I was so afraid but I said yes. Best day I ever had

[LindaAnne]

I used to be so scared to even think about going to a store that I previously limited all my shopping to on-line purchases. However earlier this year I finally got up the nerve to go into a store and buy a dress. I went to GAP (their sizing has been very consistent so I knew I could get one that fit the first time). I went in so nervous - I felt like everyone was looking at me! I was in drab so nobody was actually looking but I felt like it. My heart was beating so fast. Then I started looking at dresses, next to other ladies, and I suddenly felt calm. Nothing happened! I continued to look, picked out a nice dress, then picked out a skirt I had my eye on. I purchased them, walked out, and it was just like I had gone to a mens store. As many have said here, the SAs are very nice and really don't care. Since that initial purchase I've gone to Victoria Secrets to pick up a good supply of panties (a girl can never have enough!) as well as some nice slips. I've also shopped at Torrid, and some of the larger chains (Macys in particular). I prefer GAP and Torrid as I've found they are more accommodating to me, but I'm guessing that can change based on the location and SAs. I'm so happy as I'm finally over being scared and now I don't think twice going in to purchase women's clothing and lingerie. When I'm in those stores, it feels so natural now.

[Eryn]

What to wear: comfortable clothes that are easy to get in and out of. Large collars, simple pants or skirt, flat shoes.

Makeup should be enough to blend, but make sure it is powdered and set do you won't get it on the clothes you try on.

Behavior: enjoy yourself. Stroll casually and peruse what catches your eye. Don't walk fast or flit about like a nervous bird.

Dressing rooms: If you are dressed, use the women's dressing room. Walk in like you belong there, because you do. Don't speak unless you can be seen. I note that many retailers have wisely avoided the gender issue by not specifically stating the gender on the entrance. The only thing that makes a room male or female is its location in the store, so simply use the nearest one.

Attitude: shopping is supposed to be fun, so go have fun!

[grace7777]

You have gotten a lot of great suggestions here. I definitely agree with Eryn in wearing clothes that you can get in and out of easily.

I have found that shopping in femme is a lot less stressful than shopping en drab. Even if you get made, at least there is an obvious reason for why you are shopping in the woman's section. These days I am in male mode only when absolutely necessary.

[Eryn]

I have found that shopping in femme is a lot less stressful than shooting en drab. Even if you get made, at least there is an obvious reason for why you are shopping in the woman's section..

Absolutely! After the first time I went shopping dressed, I never shopped in drab again! It is so much easier with bra and forms already in place and no obvious gender disparity while shopping or going into the dressing room.

One thing I forgot: If you are getting attention from other shoppers while browsing, resist the urge to move away. Browse your way toward the observer slowly. Let them see as much as they want. Scared people run away, confident people don't, and your goal is to be a confident person.

[tanya_cd]

Ok, the countdown clock has started lol. This is going to be a big step for me. I have never tried to pass or be accepted by people in the general public before. So nervous, but sooo excited.

I'm thinking of getting some flats, a purse and some feminine sunglasses on ebay or amazon. Of course I want to be casual but still wear something that accentuates femininity. I think I will wear a tunic top/blouse and a skirt. For some reason when I wear my girl pants, jeans, shorts, capris, etc... they look like man pants when I try them on!! lol Of course, I don't want to give myself up with my shaved man legs either. Its going to be the lesser of two evils I guess.

I'm thinking I might keep posting updates on my progress and the results.

[Michaelasfun]

Blonde is a good look for you btw (not that I'm biased lol)