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Thread: First time shopper tips?

  1. #1
    I am her, she is me tanya_cd's Avatar
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    First time shopper tips?

    I know this may seem like a cliche topic and there may be other threads devoted to subjects like this, but I am wondering what tips would you give to cd who is working up the determination to go out shopping for the first time?

    While I'm not new to shopping online, it often this leads to higher costs and headaches of getting something the wrong size.
    I have been out dressed before in an accepting dark nightclub, but never in a place where people might get uncomfortable. This makes me somewhat nervous.

    While I know I will never completely pass, I would like to be able to just blend in as much possible and feel comfortable shopping in the woman's section. While I know wearing 6-inch heels and thigh-his would get some looks, they are not necessarily the looks I want lol, so I know I need to wear something more casual. Any suggestions on what to wear, tips on trying to blend in? Makeup, accessories, mannerisms to adopt or avoid?

    Important : Changing rooms. When they are not unisex, where do you try on clothes?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Amy Lynn3's Avatar
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    It is sometimes hard to get the nerve built up to shop, but I see your method might be made somewhat easier, by going in male clothing.

    You state you do not pass. Why not take that worry off the list and shop in drab. I know our mind plays tricks on us and we think the world will end if we shop for female clothing. It is a mind thing for us, as the SA's don't care and actually like for us to shop with them. The reason is they sell on commission. So, as I do....just shop until you drop. If someone is rude, ask to speak to the manager about their attitude. You are not required to state why or who you are buying for. If you want to say....just say they are mine. They have no clue who they are for, so let them assume.

    I have never saw a dressing room one could not go in, unless they were marked male and female. If they have a dressing room, you are allowed to use it.

    Good luck and go buy all the Christmas things you like.
    Last edited by Amy Lynn3; 12-05-2015 at 01:38 PM.

  3. #3
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    Hi Tanya and welcome too the forum. My suggestion is to be casual, subtle makeup and all and go about your business as usual. Be relaxed and don't fixate on other people. Just do your thing and enjoy it. The SA's will help you no problem.you'll enjoy it. Have fun

  4. #4
    A lady in the making..... Erica Marie's Avatar
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    I have never gone shopping dressed. I have always gone drab and I just take the items I want to try back to the mens dept to try on. If you look confident and not like a creeper no one will honestly bother you. How do they know if you are shopping for yourself or for someone else.
    Erica

  5. #5
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Look around at the way women are dressed where you are going, mimic what they wear - if at all possible dress before you go - if you don't have clothes go someplace like target and try on what you want in drab - they don't care - next of all have fun ....................Debra

  6. #6
    New Member MischaSummers's Avatar
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    I always buy my clothes in drab. I just recently tried on (and bought!) 2 little black dresses at my local Goodwill. If youre in drab, put a pair of jeans or a big flannel shirt over your ladies garments if you're feeling shy about what you want to try on. Whatever mode you're in go in that gender's dressing room. Act like you belong there. Your money is as green as anyone elses. When youre searching the racks, really pay attention to the garments you are interested in, and try not to pay attention to any of the women near you. I'm not sure where youre from, and I'm Californian so nobody really second guesses a guy in the women's aisle. Lastly, if you're really worried about what others may think, go shopping at dead times (usually the first hour the store opens) and don't shop as much in the afternoon early evening.

    If anybody gives you a condescending glance, or mentions why youre in this section, just ignore them or say "mind your business" and continue shopping for you. It's not like anyone will see you again.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Michelle 78's Avatar
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    Hi Tanya and welcome,

    I shop as Michelle and it can be daunting at first, but it does get easier to do in time. Being in the Women's section as a woman feels great, I was really scared the first 4 or 5 times, but stick at it and you will learn to overcome the nerves and the thoughts of you thinking everybody is looking at you will fade and you eventually just focus on the task in hand which is browsing the clothes and you will start to enjoy it.

    As for what to wear, really have a good look at what the girls are wearing out where you live, especially woman of your age and copy them. Right now Girls are wearing boots with skinny jeans for example with a nice cardigan or coat, this is pretty much what I wore out the other day when I was out shopping. Keep your makeup as light as you can as it is easy to overdo it.

    Get yourself a nice bag and a purse too and maybe a scarf as they are really popular right now.

    The most important thing is to enjoy yourself, we all get made that is a fact, but just enjoy being you.

    Michelle

  8. #8
    Silver Member Barbara Jo's Avatar
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    Personally, I have purchased everything from panties to cocktail dresses and everything in between while in male mode.
    I have bought these items in "big box"stores, little feminine boutiques, thrift stores, etc.
    I never, ever had a problem! with anyone, anywhere!

    I just pick out or tell the sales person what i want any pay for it..... it that simple
    If you act nervous people will pick up on that and might say something but, if you act like you are doing absolutely nothing wrong they are always glad to take your money.

    Keep in mid that it is very common for a female to buy male clothes, not for themselves but, for a male in their life. People will just assume that you are doing the same thing... even think you must be a very secure male to be doing so.

    Bottom line, no one will say anything derogatory or laugh at you etc .

    About the only question I ever had was like from small private boutique owners about sizes.... like for a fancy dress etc.
    I always Just cheerfully say that I buy clothes for "her" all the time and never have a problem with sizes.
    Once you purchase something from them with no problem with no size issues, you are greeted as a valued customer, even it they think that the clothes might really be for you.

    In big box stores their job is to take your money and never insult the customer in any way.

    So, get over any unfounded fears and purchase something !
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 12-05-2015 at 06:10 PM.
    Happiness is not a future condition. It is a Present state of mind.

    "....And it's only the giving that makes you what you are" - Ian Anderson

    "It's all right now, I learned my lesson well..... You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Ricky Nelson

    "It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong." -Thomas Sowell

  9. #9
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Hi Tanya,

    Start by visiting your proposed shopping venues in drab first, it'll give you confidence thru familiarity both with the layout of the stores and the typical dress of the clientele. Generally, my observations are that casual looks are the order of the day, as well as daytime makeup (earthy, muted tones). I dont use dressing rooms even in drab typically, I kind of know my size just as when I 'm getting "guy" stuff and just hold items up to myself in a convenient mirror to decide if I like it. And, if it doesnt work out after you get it home, you at least have a better idea of the size you need for a given manufacturer, plus you have an excuse to go back to the stores again to exchange, which will give you more motivation to get out again!
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  10. #10
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    As usual sound advice about dressing to blend. You don't say where you're based but here in the UK it's winter so you'll see many GG's in leggings or thick tights with flat knee high boots, a sweater dress, possibly jeans, again with boots and a casual top perhaps accompanied by a cardigan. As also stated try to keep makeup to a minimum, pale pink eye shadow and lippy, perhaps a hint of mascara.

    It was only just over a year ago when I first walked through a shop door enfemme. No alarms went off, no one screamed or pointed. I stayed calm and began to do what the GG's were doing, browse. In truth I didn't go totally un-noticed. Even in flat boots I'm 5'10" ans so you do tend to stand out when queuing for the tills. However on my first trip a little old lady in front of me saw I had only 1 item and asked me if i would like to go before her. "Are you sure?" "That's very kind of you" and a few other bits of chit chat followed. Engaged with the SA who was polite and professional and left for the next store. Absolutely no dramas.

    I did post about a week ago about having never used the fem changing rooms but it is on my todo list but from what many who post here say, it does seem to be a non issue.

    Concentrate on your posture so you walk like a GG and not like a stiff plank and you'll be fine. Best of luck, just go for it.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  11. #11
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Wow. I am pretty surprised at the number of folks who say to go dressed in DRAB. While I have done that, it does not afford the opportunities that going dressed as a woman give. Like trying the clothes on in the store and determining if they will actually fit! Boobs make a heck of a difference in how something fits or not.

    Anywho..... I shop while dressed all the time. Though at first it was quite daunting. In terms of passing, I think I pass the glance test. Meaning I pass at a glance, but upon closer inspection the fact that I am male is pretty clear. It has never mattered though. I have always been treated well in any shop I have ever visited. I walk in, like anyone else would, and begin browsing for items I like. Sometimes they ask if I would like to start a dressing room, but more often I go ask for a fitting room. Never have I been denied access to the female area dressing rooms.

    As far as what to wear..... I have worn jeans or skirts. They tend to be easier to remove in the dressing rooms. I also wear comfy shoes, like tennis shoes, as I do quite a bit of walking while shopping.

    Oh.... And if there was ever any doubt as to my gender they certainly know when I pay using my male credit cards and male ID and still they treat me very well.

  12. #12
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    I've shopped for women's clothes in drab for the last thirty years and never had any real problems. The worst reaction I ever had was confusion, with one young SA explaining to me that the store only sold women's clothes. As the store was fairly small and packed with dresses and skirts, I'm not quite sure why she thought I was confused about that. It wasn't as if I went into the store and said I see a lot of dresses, but where are the power tools. Anyway typically the SA's I deal with are either helpful, neutral or confused, but never hostile. I've never had a problem with using the dressing rooms, although there was one occasion when a lingerie boutique asked me to come before store opening if I wanted to try on women's bathing suits.

  13. #13
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    Hi Tanya, for my first real brick and mortar experience I ordered online and specified 'in store pickup' (Long Tall Sally) and picked up the order en drab to get my feet wet so to speak (that was about a year ago).

    The second time I did that I went in and while the SA was collecting my order I browsed a made an impulse purchase of some gloves...the SA clued in and entered my name on the receipt as 'Miss Robin ...', didn't realize until I got home ☺

    Now I shop in skinny jeans and very light makeup (powder, mascara, light lipstick) and I'm just another woman shopping...I'm always amazed at how the other women shopping don't bat an eye when I go into the change rooms ☺

  14. #14
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    Don't worry about it the first time I was shopping. I went to New York and company and after looking around for a few the sales lady asked if I wanted to try some stuff on. I was so afraid but I said yes. Best day I ever had

  15. #15
    I am her, she is me tanya_cd's Avatar
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    Ok, the countdown clock has started lol. This is going to be a big step for me. I have never tried to pass or be accepted by people in the general public before. So nervous, but sooo excited.

    I'm thinking of getting some flats, a purse and some feminine sunglasses on ebay or amazon. Of course I want to be casual but still wear something that accentuates femininity. I think I will wear a tunic top/blouse and a skirt. For some reason when I wear my girl pants, jeans, shorts, capris, etc... they look like man pants when I try them on!! lol Of course, I don't want to give myself up with my shaved man legs either. Its going to be the lesser of two evils I guess.

    I'm thinking I might keep posting updates on my progress and the results.

  16. #16
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Blonde is a good look for you btw (not that I'm biased lol)
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  17. #17
    Member Ashley Lyn's Avatar
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    Keep posting updates.. I'm really interested in your progress!
    I'm in a somewhat similar situation.. Now that the weather has turned colder, all the girls/women are wearing slacks and jeans so that takes skirts out of the equation, which takes a lot of the fun out of dressing and going out in public.. Maybe legging/tights and a long skirt, but not sure..
    Low heeled boots will be a must, since I'm almost 6'..
    My step-daughter recently found out about my crossdressing and has promised to help me getting out and shopping.. That should be a big help for me..
    Will advise and update as I progress as well..
    "If it feels good.. - Wear it"!

  18. #18
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    I love to shop dressed and have had no problems. I love to try things on at the store. It was very hard at first, but I've gotten past that and now it's fun!!! Everyone has given you great advice, go slow and have a GREAT time!!! Now is a good time to shop, everyone is too absorbed in their own shopping to pay much or any attention to others.
    Please call me Lisa!

  19. #19
    Silver Member Barbara Jo's Avatar
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    BTW, I'm so used to shopping for female clothes that I actually do not like shopping for female things during the Christmas season.
    The reason is they will automatically think its a Christmas gift for a female.
    Some will no doubt find comfort in this but, I like to keep people guessing.

    My point is, after a while you will start to really enjoy it and not give a damn what some might think .

    I used to be a shy person when I was younger but, I eventually realized that people that I came in contact with could not care less about what I thought of them so, why should I care about what they might think of me ?
    It's something to think about when you are out shopping.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 12-06-2015 at 07:44 PM.
    Happiness is not a future condition. It is a Present state of mind.

    "....And it's only the giving that makes you what you are" - Ian Anderson

    "It's all right now, I learned my lesson well..... You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Ricky Nelson

    "It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong." -Thomas Sowell

  20. #20
    Junior Member Invisible Emily's Avatar
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    I'm in a similar situation, I am buying women's clothing for the first time but will probably shop online. I'm jealous of your ability to get out of your comfort zone. I would be absolutely terrified shopping in a store. Any tips for buying clothing online or excuses to tell your parents when you start getting random packages in the mail?

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
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    For me, it's safer buying while drab in store and then hiding things when I get home. I took things from the women's section over to the men's fitting room.

    My parents have probably thrown out all my packages this past week. Kohls let me re-order and Amazon gave me a refund. Not sure about Hanes--I need my bras, panties and tops like yesterday!
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  22. #22
    Junior Member Invisible Emily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDanielle View Post
    For me, it's safer buying while drab in store and then hiding things when I get home. I took things from the women's section over to the men's fitting room.

    My parents have probably thrown out all my packages this past week. Kohls let me re-order and Amazon gave me a refund. Not sure about Hanes--I need my bras, panties and tops like yesterday!

    I think I would panic even being in the women's section My parents wouldn't throw them out I don't think, but they would certainly ask me what it was and if I kept avoiding the topic they would probably just open one of the packages and then all hell would break lose.

  23. #23
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    Emma...
    It's really a matter of persistence. It took me a few "fly by's" before I could get into the women's department. Once you cross that threshold, it gets easier (not totally better, but you're already there so yeah)


    Also on my experience... When I got uncomfortable, I just took a lap or two around the store and texted some friends until I got my nerve back. Stayed nervous and skittish until I left, but then the tension broke and it was the best feeling in the world.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
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    I was more nervous at Kohls than Meijer, except for looking at bras and panties at Meijer by myself (Meijers has another sale on Hanes right now!). I felt easier with the holiday shopping season but was also careful in making sure I didn't see anyone I knew. Just wish I had brought a pair of 12s in addition to the 14 and 16s to try on.
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  25. #25
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    I usually do my shopping in male clothing. When in female clothing I am usually in hip pads and corset to create an hour glass figure, gel bra to create cleavage, etc. It is more conducive for being in a dark club, sipping drinks and making small talk with people. For a new, uncomfortable situation, I feel more comfortable in men's clothing. When I got started I was fairly nervous about the concept of shopping in the women's section. First I chose stores like Ann Taylor, Macy's, MAC, Victoria's Secret, and Nordstroms. My reasoning was that the sales people might be better trained and tolerant, than say at a Walmart. Maybe I am generalizing unfairly; but that was my thought. Definitely I have found at AT, MAC, VC, and Nordstroms, if you tell the sales lady that you are shopping for yourself, and exactly what you want, they will go out of their way to help you. The first thing I noticed was that none of the other shoppers seemed to pay much attention to me. One of the things I would do to kill the nervousness was to make a call on my cell phone. The conversation on the phone would occupy my mind while I shopped, and there was no room in there to be nervous. As far as trying on the clothes, a place like Ann Taylor will clear a room for you if you ask. For the department store, grab a pair of men's jeans, and bring everything to the men's dressing room. Good luck and have fun.

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