Up to this point, I've chosen to not let any of my long-term friends or colleagues know about my being TG. I present as androgynous most of the time near to home and for the most part the friends have continued to perceive me as male. They certainly see changes, but I'm a bit eccentric to begin with.

I realize that this cannot go on forever and after talking it over with Mimi we've decided to bring some of our closer friends into the know. This will allow us to better integrate them into my new life.

Today, the opportunity presented itself to talk privately with a couple who are long term (20+year) friends. We had breakfast with them and went over to their place to socialize. I asked Mimi if she thought that this would be a good time to bring up the subject and she wasn't sure. In situations like this I always take the safe route so I decided to hold off on the decision.

We were sitting and the conversation drifted around to our hairdresser, who happens to be the same lady for Mimi, myself, and the female half of the couple. We were each talking about our experiences with the hairdresser and our female friend said "let your hair down so I can see the highlights." I undid my ponytail and the normal compliments followed.

She then said "I have some new Paul Mitchell hair treatment that'll cut down the frizz in your hair. Would you like to try it?" One thing led to another and she was soon working the product through my hair with her fingers. She put my hair into a braid to keep it out of the way while the treatment worked.

At this point my phone rang with a text. It was Mimi, who was sitting right there, telling me privately "Go ahead and tell if you want."

I figured that there was no time like the present, so I said "there is one thing that I'd like to talk to the two of you about..." and told them that I was TG, that I had known for about five years, and that I was now in the process of transition. Mimi was there to support me and everything went very well. The female half of the couple said "I don't care how you dress, I love you either way." The male half of the couple was a bit more reserved but said nothing negative.

I showed them a couple of pictures of me out with my family, just so that they could get a mental image of how I look in my desired presentation. They thought that the pictures looked pretty good and I took that as a complement.

The female half of the couple then talked about her experiences with the LGBT scene in the city she last lived in. She had friends in the gay community, but wasn't acquainted with anyone in the Trans community there.

Before we left, the female half of the couple asked my shoe size. I said "11", and she said "I have a pair of shoes you might like. I'm an 11 but they are just a bit tight on me." She brought out a pair of peep-toe slingback pumps and I tried them on. They fit beautifully and she said "They're yours!"

Analysis:

I think it went really well. Both of my friends seemed to take it well, and probably thought of it as an explanation for the changes in my behavior and appearance over the last few years.

The female half of the couple seemed the most accepting. I talked about the experience with Persephone and she pointed out that my friend's mention of her LGBT connections was a statement of "political" acceptance, but that her gift of shoes was a token of acceptance on a personal level. I think that things will be fine with her and that from her point of view she has acquired a new female friend.

The male half of the couple was a bit more reserved. I think that he fears loss of his male friend and I can see his point. I'm the same person, able to be as geeky and mechanical as I previously was, but things will be different. I need to reach out to him to reassure him that the change is good and that he need not fear losing his friend.

This will open up new social opportunities for us with the other couple. Almost all of our activities are now with me in female mode and now we can invite these friends to participate with us. I think that they will enjoy it!