Tempted, but true

[Catriona]

You have a wife. What did you promise her? Not always easy to keep the promise, but if you break it, goodbye trust.

[heatherdress]

This is a good thread and I appreciate the responses. It would really be interesting if we could have the spouse perspective on cheating, temptation, trust and honesty. Most would probably match but probably not all.

[TaraGrace]

Interesting read. I'll be able to throw in a perspective of someone in a very open relationship for you:

Cheating is cheating when it damages trust.. the act itself is even less important.
If you started your relationship/mariage on certain values, promises and mutual expectations.. and then break them one-sidedly, that's cheating.

So for person (a) that can be watching a porno secretly, for person (b) flirting, for person (c) dating, for person (d) anything goes, as long as you don't kiss have all the sex you want, for person (e) and so on..

I probably have a far wider acceptance of what my girl does then most, but even then there's still a set of rules that apply.. agreed upon, and occasionally reviewed by us both.

Couldn't care less that most people see me as a cheater.. as long as my partner does not, that is what counts for me.
If I think there is a risk of her feeling anywhere even close to that I will open up a talk.

[CourtneyJamieson]

This topic has been discussed on previous threads and, as I have said before, when dressed in Fem mode I, too, have sometimes "fantasized" about being with a male and having relations. Does this make me deceitful, unfaithful, gay, bi ? I don't think any of the above. Sexual fantasies are healthy and provide for a better sex life with your partner. Everyone fantasizes about everything. Have you not fantasized about sex with Elizabeth Hurley while having relations with your SO? And I guarantee your SO has fantasized about sex with Brad Pitt while having relations with you. And my SO has admitted to me that she has fantasized about having sex with a female though she has no desire or intention of actually carrying out this fantasy. So I think there is nothing wrong with fantasizing about sex with a male while dressed in Fem. Fantasy and reality are two different worlds. In my case I know I am not attracted to men in my male mode so I know if I ever tried to live my fantasy it would probably be revolting, thus I have no desire to actually fulfill my fantasy. Fantasies are not betrayals or deceits. Acting on those fantasies, if it hurts a loved one, is a betrayal. But, if Elizabeth Hurley ever calls I will have a tough time hanging up the phone.

[Jenny22]

Very interesting thread. I'm Bi-curious but have only become so in the past couple of years. At my age, I started to feel that the world has passed me by in many ways, and sex as a girl (OK, an old lady) is one. I've a great many fantasies about being the woman in a sex relationship with a man and satisfying him as only a woman could do. My wife knows and has give me an OK, but letting her know first, should the opportunity present itself. Where Can I turn to? Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have to be careful, just as you would be in the same situation, I'm sure. Thanks, ladies.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Even if one removes the ethical questions involved with adultery... if only for your own sake, it would be a bad idea. Hooking up with a total stranger you met on the internet while under the influence is a recipe for disaster, on so many levels. Not to mention, if you do cheat with a man and it is discovered, you wife could probably skin you alive in divorce court. Best keep such a thing as a fantasy only.

[Dana L]

Hooking up with a total stranger is always a bad idea. You can never be sure of their intentions not to mention the various diseases out there. Plus weather it's a man or woman it's cheating. I have had fantasies about being with a man but never let it go beyond a little dancing, touching and a kiss at a Halloween party. My wife was with me at the time and we discussed it later. I explained that I'm not really attracted to men but the thought of being able to sexually please a man would make my feminine side feel great. She understood and told me if the opportunity arises she would be ok with it as long as he uses protection and I only have the female role in it. I was totally shocked by this, so I haven't sought out any encounters and don't know if I will, but it's nice to know that I can. I guess it's not cheating if it's agreed upon between each other. As far as the homosexual factor, if you feel as if you are a woman on the inside and are physically presenting as a woman then wouldn't sex with a man would be heterosexual.