A resent txt from my ex wife

[Megan b]

I just heard some news that I'd like you to verify. Are you going out as her in Obion and Weakly county? Have you even considered how that would effect your daughter and son? This is not the time to announce your decisions to the world. Consider that daughter and son are working to start their life's and establish themselves in school and work. They don't need to deal with people talking about you and your "lifestyle". Go off somewhere else if you have to but don't punish my children with your bad decisions.
My ex wife received my regular response, which is a no response. I don't let her bait me into anything. For just a little background about the time she is referencing, I went out the day before Halloween as Megan and just ran a few errands, went to the bank and paid a bill. I have a good friend at that bank and revealed this side of me to her for the first time. I wore my best dress and best hair and really good makeup. She did not have a clue, we went to her office talked for about 30 minutes, told me I looked great and that she would have never known I was not a woman. This friend did mention this to my ex wife, but I have no problem with this. If I want to go grocery shopping and pay a bill as Megan so be it. I'm not married to her anymore.
As for my children, they are 20 and 23 years old and they both know about Megan. My daughter lives with her mother but has never seen Megan and my son lives with me and he has seen Megan coming and going from time to time. I do not force this on my kids. If my son comes home early or gets home before me I simply change clothes and go back to Mike.
Anyway I was just wondering what some of your thoughts were regarding the txt, I received. Thanks

[LisaKarenAZ]

As you state, your kids are fully grown adults that know about Megan, and you are no longer married to this woman. To me, it sounds like she is trying to impart control over you and your life, where she has no place imparting. If your kids have an issue with Megan, they are old enough to speak up for themselves without Mommy stepping in for them.

Personally, I would have one of two responses for an ex if she sent this to me. One, a non-response like you have said is your normal response. Two, I would reply with simply "We are no longer married, and our children are grown. I do not answer to you anymore. If my kids have any concerns with my activities outside of the house, they are adult enough to tell me themselves. Thank you for your interest, and good bye."

[Genny B]

Forget it Megan. Like you addressed it, it's just bait for something else. I would totally ignore it. Might dress up and go visit her just to embarrass her, but i wouldn't go any further than that! LOL!

Genny B

[Jenniferathome]

Mine would be something like this:

"<her first name> I hope you are well. I love our kids just as you do. I would never do anything to hurt them."

[JanePeterson]

Well played! It sounds to me like she's trying to get a rise out of you... Don't give her the satisfaction!!

[Robin414]

Well done! Treat it like any other piece of txt spam!

[LelaK]

Sounds like you did RESENT the TXT.

[Janine cd]

Send her your love and end the message. She is not seeing the reality of the situation.

[Stephanie47]

Usually it is recommended one avoid toxic waste dumps. I would not answer such text messages. Since your kids know and they are young adults, if they have some concerns they are old enough to voice them.

[kittie60]

Just ignore her like you did. It's obvious that she's unhappy and wants to make your life miserable. You did the right thing.

[Beverley Sims]

Just ignore it, no use throwing petrol on the fire, it is burning well without any help from you.

Actually, not replying will probably fan the flames a bit. :-)

[ReineD]

Well, you are in Tennessee so people will gossip. A few will be OK with it, some will be critical, and some won't care although they might prefer to maintain a distance (not want to do things with you while you're dressed). I don't know if you live in an urban area or a small town.

Since your kids are adult, I'd ask them what they think. Do they mind if their friends, coworkers, etc, find out that their dad crossdresses. Would they prefer that you CD in the next town over.

[Debra Russell]

If there is not a red flag waving or the pitch fork carrying hoard following you around you have no problem but your paranoid X-wife, and your response was perfect.......nothing............................. .............Debra

[Nicole Erin]

Girlfriends and wives sometimes get bored and try to contact their ex. Anything from silly drama to wanting to get back together. It's like GG's cannot let stuff just drop.

With the ex saying -

...Have you even considered how that would effect your daughter and son? This is not the time to announce your decisions to the world. Consider that daughter and son are working to start their life's and establish themselves in school and work. They don't need to deal with people talking about you and your "lifestyle"...

Your ex doesn't seem to get something -
Don't nobody give a damn about someone's parents. I mean even if class or workmates to your children knew, they are not going to say, "So, let's talk about your dad...." LITTLE kids might but not grown-ups. Not since high school have I personally ever heard of drama starting because someone didn't like someone's parents. Can you see two grown women saying, "(Your daughter's name) is cool and all but her dad is pretty weird, I just don't want to associate with (your daughter)

Their life at school, career advancements, social life, marriage prospects... none of it is going to be effected by their parents' personal lives.
And if your kids think it will be, they just won't introduce anyone to their dad, simple as that.

If anyone is going to judge your Cd'ing, it will be judging you and not your kids or ex.

[Samantha_Smile]

With all due respect to the ex wife, who sounds like an absolute treat...
Her 'children' are adults, free to make their own decisions and opinions.

Having a dad who is in some way TG can only be a positive, mind broadening experience.
The mother however (from the above only) sounds like the type who would teach them to be judgemental.
I am, of course making broad generalizations and stereotyping bigot behaviour, but then so is the ex.

I'd reply with something along those lines

[OCCarly]

My thoughts are, once you have made the last child support payment on the youngest kid, you are done with your ex, except for weddings, funerals and baptisms. And for those occasions, make sure you "dress" appropriately.

[Veronica27]

-
Don't nobody give a damn about someone's parents. I mean even if class or workmates to your children knew, they are not going to say, "So, let's talk about your dad...." LITTLE kids might but not grown-ups.

Yeah, but my dad coulda beat your dad.

[Dana44]

I think you did the right thing. She is trying to contact you and as any GG would say that she is trying to exercise power over you. You have no need to ever answer to her. She is no part of your life now.

[tanya_cd]

How did she find out would be a question. I agree somewhat with what others are saying in that your kids are grown. When reading your post, I pictured them to be much younger.

To put things in perspective, I was in my early 20's when my parents divorced, and I also learned some other family secrets that completely changed the way I viewed them. Did it hurt and was is traumatizing? Yes, it was. Now, some people may handle it more or less harsh than myself, but I got older. I learned I had to accept it. Now that I am older and looking back, I am much stronger and wiser because of it.

All my life I have been worried about getting other people to accept me, never really taking the time to accept myself. Could your kids be hurt by this? It's possible. Should you feel, or be made to feel guilty? Absolutely not.

Lets not also forget the source of the message. It wasn't sent by your children. Lets face it, she doesn't sound like someone who sounds easy to please. The only relationships you should worry about, are between you and your children. If your kids know about Megan and it becomes issue with them directly, talk to them. If you don't decide to blow off the text, simply reply in a polite manner and don't let her provoke you. When you look back you will be much happier.

[StephanieJ]

My ex does stuff like this all the time. She is just trying to get under your skin. Anyway, who is she to judge your decisions? What is "bad" to her might just be the best thing in the world for you and your children.

[Suzie Petersen]

Megan,

If you are able to, then take the high road as Jennifer suggested:

Jennifer: "<her first name> I hope you are well. I love our kids just as you do. I would never do anything to hurt them."

That was a great suggestion!

- Suzie

[Tracii G]

Wish her well and be friendly but don't say anything about what she texted you as if you just blew it off which is what you ARE doing.
Its a trap and she is drawing at straws trying to start something.Push a hot button to set you off if you will don't let her do it.
Your kids know all about you already so whats the beef?

Reine people everywhere talk about others why is Tenn. any different?

[~Joanne~]

I think you handled it well with the no response. Maybe take it up a notch and block her if she persists with all the BS. after all, Your divorced for a reason and control freak comes to mind when I think of the reasons it happened just from what you have typed. I don't get how You need your grown kids permission either. maybe it's just me but your free to live your life at this point how you see fit. My SO's sister likes to tell her parents what they should and shouldn't be doing and I just never understood how anyone can think they have that right. The parents are grown and so is the kids....act like it.

[ReineD]

Reine people everywhere talk about others why is Tenn. any different?

The South is more conservative, especially outside of large urban areas.

To Megan b, ignore the ex. But, how do your children feel? Are they OK with you going out where they live and work?

[Teresa]

Megan,
It sounds as if she's trying to use your grown up children as blackmail to take her resentment out on you !
I guess if you are going to reply to the message tell her she can vent all she likes but leave the children out of it . They both know now and have accepted it in their way, they don't need to be poisoned by the thoughts your wife has of you.
I have the opposite situation with my children , neither has seen me but I have shown my daughter my pictures, I told my son this but he hasn't asked and I don't push it .