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Thread: How do you cope need help

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014

    How do you cope need help

    Coping has been a major issue in my life, now that I am 60+ years old the intensity of my gender dysphoria has increased to where I have become nonfunctional, luckily I was awarded disability a few years ago for major depression, I should not even be complaining because other girls have had a difficult time also , I could never pass as a girl, I just have the feelings of a woman. Why did this happen to me, all I can do is wish the best for everybody. How do all of you cope an try to have somewhat of a normal life, I fill as I am a freak of nature

  2. #2
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    Eventually I came to accept myself for who I am - I might like to dress more often than I do, but I enjoy all phases of my life.

  3. #3
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    If you describe yourself as having "gender dysphoria", I would say it's time for you to see a psychiatrist. That's way past "crossdressing".

  4. #4
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Area 51
    Could it be possible that your"gender dysphoria" is just an extension of the pre-diagnosed depression? Do you feel any better when you are dressed?
    A properly trained gender professional can help you answer these questions.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  5. #5
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    The Poconos PA
    It may help to talk with a professional counselor. They can help you to sort things out.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  6. #6
    I am her, she is me tanya_cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015

    Not calling yourself a "freak of nature" is good place to start. It wasn't easy for me to accept myself (will some of us ever?), and I am sure the story is true for most other cd's. If you want to feel beautiful, allow yourself to do so. Finding places and people to talk about your feelings will help as well. Whoever it was that diagnosed you with major depression is also another good place to start. They should be able to give you professional advice on whether or not you should see someone who specializes in gender topics.

    I see you joined 2 years ago and this is only your third post. Posting more often and becoming more interactive will also help. I'm sure a lot of girls can agree that sharing and interacting here can be another powerful tool in our bag of "coping" mechanisms.
    Last edited by tanya_cd; 12-15-2015 at 12:16 PM.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    My coping is through writing and reading trans fiction and a month ago, I only came to realize that I'm trans.

    To echo Tanya, another way that this girl copes is through the forums, especially when my current living situation limits me to underdressing.
    Last edited by MissDanielle; 12-15-2015 at 02:10 PM.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    From your brief description I think the best advice you will get on this forum is a recommendation you visit a psychiatrist. You are not a freak of nature because you wear women's clothing. You are not a freak if you feel you have the "feelings of a woman." I can understand this has contributed to depression. Seek of a clinician who has training and experience in gender issues as well as treating depression.

    And, welcome to the forum.

  9. #9
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Usually, wearing a skirt somewhere
    You are not a "freak of nature"

    Unless you, or someone else, deliberately tried to make you this way? No? Then how you are, is just the way that nature works sometimes. No-ones fault, and you would be surprised how many others have the same or similar situation. What you are, what you feel, what you want to be, what you want to wear, none of it is wrong. You should let none of it make you feel guilty, ashamed, disgusted, none of that. Depending on where you live, your family, your work, your social circle, you may need to keep it hidden, that's your decision, and is depending on way too many factors for us to have meaningful input. Some psychiatric help, therapy, whatever, is a good idea, but if it is not realistic for you, just getting it into your head that guilt and shame are not appropriate can go a long way to helping.

    Good luck, and keep talking to us. Read as much as you can on here, but do keep in mind that everybody is different, and it isn't all going to apply to you.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  10. #10
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    First, you are not a freak of nature. Second, you shouldn't downplay the issues you face. Just because some people have had worse experiences in no way diminishes what you yourself are going through. Gender dysphoria is tough, and many of us know what you're going through.

    This morning I woke up and wanted to call in sick because I didn't want to be forced to present as male to all my friends and co-workers. I woke up this morning as a woman in a man's body. On days like today, I get by as best I can. Usually by incorporating feminine articles of clothing underneath my regular work clothes (such as under dressing or wearing hosiery under my work socks and dress pants). Had I had more time I would have applied a layer of clear nail polish to my nails as well.

    Sadly, this can only accomplish so much, but it's better than nothing. In your case, I would echo what others have said. Look into getting some gender counseling. Start with the person(s) who diagnosed you with depression and see if they can get you in touch with someone. Another option is to look into a gender identity center. They have resources that can help, often in the cheap. They helped me come to terms with my gender identity and I'm sure they can help you too.

    Additionally support groups are a good option you should look into. This forum is also a good place to start. Remember, you're not alone in this. There are many of us here who can help you out if you'll let us. Be careful though. What works for some of us won't work for everyone. Ultimately, we can only give advice for better or worse.

    Good luck, Pamala

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