I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.
Not that CD'ing is a fetish for most? I'm claustrophobic then when I was 16 and sexually active I noticed I like to be tied up. We would play as kids, 8-10 years old, and remember this kid tying up his brother when we were playing 'cops and robbers' and he was a prisoner. Scared the hell out of me. Hmmmmm
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I think a lot of them come from the magic box that constantly assaulted our young minds with and endless barrage of images, sounds, ideas, titilation, and other confusing noise.
Growing up in the TV generation, in the long run, probably was far more traumatic than it's given credit for.
And so we go, on with our lives...
We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?
While I tried on my first pair of panties at a very young age, my "need" to cd first manifested in my teens. Then the need went away until just recently. I don't know what THAT means but what I do know now is that I am happy with being a cd and that's all that matters.
Some seem to have interest in the old "helpless woman" scenario like in the old cliffhanger serials. We realized later, however, that the helpless damsel "let" the villain tie her up to get the attention of the hero.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Don't know but I started dressing in 2006 almost 60 years old and haven't stopped since. I can see some "possible" tell tales when I was a very small child, but zero after that. I do not care but sometimes I wonder.
How long ago was that? Mine was on until about age four to 10 then no desire Then came back at 25-26 then at 29 then at 32 (2014) until now.
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It would be easy to blame early outside influences as the cause. Lets face it, Jeannie, Samantha, Ginger, Mary Ann, Wonder Woman, and many others were certainly adored by me as a young boy probably more for the clothes they wore than any other reason. I truly believe that I came off of the assembly line this way. I was very confused about why until one day a catalyst started me on my journey. I had seen my mother dressing before, helped her with zippers on a few occassions, and once in a Corselette and stockings before she had her dress on. That really made me curious and I wondered what that must feel like. One day after a shower, there it was, one of her Corselette's in the laundry basket. After drying off I quickly pulled it on and it felt wonderful. That is the day my journey started. Other people might take longer to realize they are inclined this way, maybe they kind of know but go to the other extreme to deny it, or possibly just waiting for the right catalyst to set things in motion on a one way journey because once you start there is no stopping.
It doesn't even have to be traumatic. It only needs a random incident that creates a strong impression and this can be based on a myriad factors. Say there is a little boy who has a huge crush on a teacher who wears nylons and heels every day. Everything about her is fascinating and one day his hand brushes against her leg by mistake, he is amazed at the silky feel and struck with the intimacy of the incident. It becomes part of his arousal template.Originally Posted by LexiNexi
Here's what Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT (licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor) has to say about fetishes/kinks. He describes, near the bottom, how they may be imprinted. He also mentions the possibility of seeing something on TV that is locked in the mind and eroticized at a later time:
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/0...-and-fetishes/
If you ask people who begin the CDing in later years, I'm guessing they will say they did have a fascination with women's clothes or a particular item of women's clothing for a long time even if it wasn't acted upon.
Most people who develop fetishes are men. This explains why there aren't many female crossdressers.
Reine
Reine - I suspect there are as many women who crossdress as men, maybe even a lot more. A guy who wears female underwear is a crossdresser. A woman who wears boxers is cool. A woman in male attire is OK and she does not carry a label of crossdresser. Even in youth, girls who dress like boys are usually accepted and simply called "tom-girls". Boys who even try to wear anything considered female, however, are teased or bullied as sissies or gay or feminine.
Last edited by heatherdress; 01-07-2016 at 04:38 PM.
Yes, but when women wear men's clothes, they aren't feeling like they are portraying men, or want to be a man, or want to present as a man. When my wife runs out of underwear and borrows a pair of mine, there's no psychological baggage associated with it. she's just behind on her laundry. when I wear a pair of hers, even if was because I ran out, there's a whole different level of feeling that's associated. I doubt few gg's have any association with gender bending when wearing guy clothes.
Nikki, you're new so first let me welcome you, and second let me give you a head's up on this. We don't wear men's clothes. We wear women's clothes purchased in women's stores, cut and sized for women's bodies.
Or, if we use a son's or husband's old shirt to paint in for example, this is just wearing a loose old rag so as to not soil our own clothes. Or if our SO has an old discarded flannel shirt or sweat pants that we think is comfy because it is loose, we wear it around the house because it is comfy like a pair of pajamas. Or, if we wear our boyfriend's jacket or shirt occasionally, it is to enhance our emotional bond. We do not wear our SO's underwear. We do not go to parties, to work, or have other outings with our friends in those clothes, nor do we wear those clothes because we think they make us look attractive. Generally speaking.
Reine
Few women actually wear MEN'S clothes. There are exceptions, FtM TS and Drag Kings, Both are presenting as men. Also some Butch Lesbian might, had one as a GF for a while and she did, might have classed her as a FtM CD.
Are you talking about a pair of men's underwear. She must really get behind on her laundry, or you might suggest she needs to buy some more. I go thru a dozen or two a week sometimes.
Last edited by Georgette_USA; 04-26-2016 at 11:11 PM.
we are on the same page. I was referring to the rare incidental occasion, and the lack of any attachment to it other than filling a functional requirement at that time. poorly written on my end.
Nikki, three comments:
1) Women don't wear men's clothes unless they are a cross dresser and if this site is any representation, those female to male cross dressers are exceptionally rare. Women's pants, shirts, everything is cut to fit them. That is why it is so hard to find things that fit us! When you see a woman wearing male cut clothing, you can tell instantly.
2) Really, your wife borrowed your underwear? I find that super hard to believe. They won't fit, they'd look odd under her much thinner clothes. If true, she's uber-unique.
3) No they don't because they aren't wearing men's clothes. A t-shirt worn as a smock is not cross dressing. It's a cheap smock.
This is a real common proposition by cross dressers but it just doesn't hold up under any plausible thought.
Agreed except for #2, which is a bit unique- silk boxers from rei I bought for xc skiing (seriously!). I have no idea if she wore them out of the house or not, just that she told me she did when she ran out. I doubt they would show through jeans.
Georgette, I think her underwear inventory levels are fine. she's a busy lady though.
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I'm good. It takes a while in a new culture to figure it out. each Internet forum I've ever been on has its own vibe. I've noticed what you've wrote above; that some CD's equate women wearing pants or a male shirt inspired but intended for a woman dress shirt as cross dressing, which doesn't make any sense to me. to me cross dressing has a psychological dimension to it that is related to a gender issue. a gg wearing pants doesn't have any attachment to it other than being a piece of clothing that fills a functional or fashion or other non gender related need.OK. lol. Hope you don't feel pounced on.
I guess a few of us wanted to nip it in the bud. We do have many newcomers who believe that when women wear pants, they are CDing.
I'm qualifying the above by purposefully stating "to me". twice.
For me it did. Around 8 or 9, the next door neighbor girls were playing "dress up" and asked me to "play". The first time they put stockings on me, I was hooked and have been hooked (happily) ever since. I'm married with a supportive wife, (thanks). I now own an extensive wardrobe, makeup, shoes, jewelry, etc. We've done everything possible to make me look female, i.e. hip and butt pads, breast forms, push up bras, etc. She says I'm very passable and still awes at how well I can walk in heels....but it's still nylons, thigh highs, pantyhose that are #1.
I do think it begins in childhood. I remember tying on my mother's tights and loved them. She had a pair of blue ones which I fondly remember to this day lol. I have always loved tights/leggings etc. and that is my preferred mode of dress today when I go out. So it does begin in early childhood at least for me. I did not begin dressing fully until about 10 years ago. The more I dressed and began using makeup, wigs, and such the more my feminine side began to assert itself. So i'm not sure that I had a "fetish" rather a small step toward coming to grips with my gender preferences.
Hi lexi, I just turned 73 and I've ben in this program for 69yrs. now. ~~...
...
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I think it does. Maybe we're born with it. But the rearing we have seems to give us the "taboo" of it. This trends to keep it hidden, not only from others but ourselves as well. It's only when we finally decide to give in on the fears and the up bringing that we do what we need to deep inside.
Just my two cents. Not much but just simply two cents.
Candi
For me the crossdressing enhanced the early excitement of being, ehem, subdued. Sort of damsel in distress excitement. All of these adventures seem to be enhanceable with something extra. Like damsel not in distress but, out shopping.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
From one Lexi to another:
Again we come to address 'what is the one, true cause of crossdressing'. There isn't one, just like there's no single time frame in our lives where we suddenly want to dress like a girl. For some of us, it starts when we're two or three. For others, when we're 50. It can be something genetically influenced, or we can be conditioned into it, or it can be any combination of nurture and nature. Some of us get sexually excited by even just the simplest hint of thinking about girls clothing, others will need to get completely dressed up for it to happen. Still others get no sexual charge out of it at all!
One of the draws of bondage is that it allows us to feel as if we are being forced against our will to stay dressed up as a girl (or have sex in an unusual way, etc.), so it allows us to relieve ourselves of any guilt about us being responsible for wanting to dress up and/or behave as a girl. Whatever; if it feels good, and isn't hurting anyone else, go for it. When I was young I used to dress up and put on handcuffs, with the key having been frozen into a block of ice so that I could have the fantasy that I had to stay to stay dressed up for whatever amount of time; even though I was the one who devised this behavior, for a short period of time the decision of whether to change out of my girl clothes wasn't an option, and it felt good that i was 'stuck' as a girl. Once I realized why I felt like that, I gradually outgrew the desire for bondage. But it took a couple of decades for that desire to wear off.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I believe the desire or urge to crossdress is part of us at birth and the time that we actually act on those desires (or curiosity) is variable to the individual. I had the desire at a very early age and the degree I dressed changed over time.
Teri
Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.
I didn't have young child experience with CDing. Many here have though. I think generally it is because of availability, through sisters, their friends, moms. Generally some sort of strong female influence. I didn't have much of that. So for me, it came about when I was 17 and in a bar. Suddenly, a college age girl I was admiring became I want to be her instead of I want to be with her. It was a shock for me to say the least. I couldn't believe what I was feeling even. I blamed it on alcohol, and went home. Soon after, the urge would come back in my senior year. It was all very disturbing for me at that time. I hated the feeling. I did all I could to suppress the feelings, and likely overcompensated as many here have also done. It wasn't until just 3 years ago nearly to the day that I began to really accept it all. Yes, I had CD'd on several occasions prior to that. But, never for long periods of time, and typically I would feel guilt ridden afterwords.
Had I had sisters, or a better bonding with my mother, perhaps I would have experienced it sooner. It will eventually come through one way or another.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
I recently remembered something that suggests this started at a very young age. At about age three I had a doll. According to my mother, I had asked for it about two years old. While I don't remember this, I do remember my older brother teasing me about having a doll. I responded by acting all boyish and ripping its arms and legs off! I wonder if the desire to be girly was always there and I've just been denying this and trying fulfil society's expectation of a male every since.
Last edited by Sarah Louise; 12-18-2015 at 10:32 AM.
I have no idea why and don't thing anyone has discovered the holy grail of it. My earliest memory of women in lingerie was when my mother and several other women were getting ready to go out. At that moment I assumed that when I grew up I would do the same. This was during the WWII era and men were not about. I saw my mother getting ready to go out in her lingerie from time to time as well as some of my aunts and cousins. My sisters had pretty dresses and cute panties. At about 5 my mother put me in panties because I had run out of clean underwear. From that day on I wanted to wear girls clothes.
I have no idea if this caused me to be a CD anymore than walking down the street and being hit by a car.
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