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Thread: Do you think that the desire to CD starts in early childhood?

  1. #1
    MissSwissMiss LexiNexi's Avatar
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    Do you think that the desire to CD starts in early childhood?

    I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.

    Not that CD'ing is a fetish for most? I'm claustrophobic then when I was 16 and sexually active I noticed I like to be tied up. We would play as kids, 8-10 years old, and remember this kid tying up his brother when we were playing 'cops and robbers' and he was a prisoner. Scared the hell out of me. Hmmmmm
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    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    I think a lot of them come from the magic box that constantly assaulted our young minds with and endless barrage of images, sounds, ideas, titilation, and other confusing noise.

    Growing up in the TV generation, in the long run, probably was far more traumatic than it's given credit for.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
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    While I tried on my first pair of panties at a very young age, my "need" to cd first manifested in my teens. Then the need went away until just recently. I don't know what THAT means but what I do know now is that I am happy with being a cd and that's all that matters.

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    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Some seem to have interest in the old "helpless woman" scenario like in the old cliffhanger serials. We realized later, however, that the helpless damsel "let" the villain tie her up to get the attention of the hero.
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    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Don't know but I started dressing in 2006 almost 60 years old and haven't stopped since. I can see some "possible" tell tales when I was a very small child, but zero after that. I do not care but sometimes I wonder.

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    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LexiNexi View Post
    I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.
    It doesn't even have to be traumatic. It only needs a random incident that creates a strong impression and this can be based on a myriad factors. Say there is a little boy who has a huge crush on a teacher who wears nylons and heels every day. Everything about her is fascinating and one day his hand brushes against her leg by mistake, he is amazed at the silky feel and struck with the intimacy of the incident. It becomes part of his arousal template.

    Here's what Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT (licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor) has to say about fetishes/kinks. He describes, near the bottom, how they may be imprinted. He also mentions the possibility of seeing something on TV that is locked in the mind and eroticized at a later time:

    http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/0...-and-fetishes/

    If you ask people who begin the CDing in later years, I'm guessing they will say they did have a fascination with women's clothes or a particular item of women's clothing for a long time even if it wasn't acted upon.

    Most people who develop fetishes are men. This explains why there aren't many female crossdressers.
    Reine

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    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I do think it begins in childhood. I remember tying on my mother's tights and loved them. She had a pair of blue ones which I fondly remember to this day lol. I have always loved tights/leggings etc. and that is my preferred mode of dress today when I go out. So it does begin in early childhood at least for me. I did not begin dressing fully until about 10 years ago. The more I dressed and began using makeup, wigs, and such the more my feminine side began to assert itself. So i'm not sure that I had a "fetish" rather a small step toward coming to grips with my gender preferences.

  8. #8
    MissSwissMiss LexiNexi's Avatar
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    How long ago was that? Mine was on until about age four to 10 then no desire Then came back at 25-26 then at 29 then at 32 (2014) until now.
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    Hi lexi, I just turned 73 and I've ben in this program for 69yrs. now. ~~......
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    Member Candice June Lee's Avatar
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    I think it does. Maybe we're born with it. But the rearing we have seems to give us the "taboo" of it. This trends to keep it hidden, not only from others but ourselves as well. It's only when we finally decide to give in on the fears and the up bringing that we do what we need to deep inside.
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    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Lexi: I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.
    Perhaps that is the trigger for some, but I dont think that is typical. If it was, we would hear many more stories that describe such incidents.

    I started dressing up at a very young age but have no recollection of anything traumatic or similar. I had a very safe childhood in all respects so I also dont believe there could be anything my mind has suppressed.

    I dont remember the specific moment of the first time anymore, I think it was just the typical story of nylons or some under garments left in the bathroom. As for triggers later on in life, it would not take much to get my mind in a tail-spin. The picture of good looking woman in a magazine, someone I would see on the street or on tv, is all it took.

    - Suzie

  12. #12
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    For me the crossdressing enhanced the early excitement of being, ehem, subdued. Sort of damsel in distress excitement. All of these adventures seem to be enhanceable with something extra. Like damsel not in distress but, out shopping.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  13. #13
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    From one Lexi to another:
    Again we come to address 'what is the one, true cause of crossdressing'. There isn't one, just like there's no single time frame in our lives where we suddenly want to dress like a girl. For some of us, it starts when we're two or three. For others, when we're 50. It can be something genetically influenced, or we can be conditioned into it, or it can be any combination of nurture and nature. Some of us get sexually excited by even just the simplest hint of thinking about girls clothing, others will need to get completely dressed up for it to happen. Still others get no sexual charge out of it at all!
    One of the draws of bondage is that it allows us to feel as if we are being forced against our will to stay dressed up as a girl (or have sex in an unusual way, etc.), so it allows us to relieve ourselves of any guilt about us being responsible for wanting to dress up and/or behave as a girl. Whatever; if it feels good, and isn't hurting anyone else, go for it. When I was young I used to dress up and put on handcuffs, with the key having been frozen into a block of ice so that I could have the fantasy that I had to stay to stay dressed up for whatever amount of time; even though I was the one who devised this behavior, for a short period of time the decision of whether to change out of my girl clothes wasn't an option, and it felt good that i was 'stuck' as a girl. Once I realized why I felt like that, I gradually outgrew the desire for bondage. But it took a couple of decades for that desire to wear off.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
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    I don't know if it was a desire to CD in as much as it was that something just felt very off as I entered puberty. I had dreams and fantasies all the time and didn't know what they meant back then but now I do. I had to wait until the right age to raid the closet.

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    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    I believe the desire or urge to crossdress is part of us at birth and the time that we actually act on those desires (or curiosity) is variable to the individual. I had the desire at a very early age and the degree I dressed changed over time.

    Teri
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

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    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    I didn't have young child experience with CDing. Many here have though. I think generally it is because of availability, through sisters, their friends, moms. Generally some sort of strong female influence. I didn't have much of that. So for me, it came about when I was 17 and in a bar. Suddenly, a college age girl I was admiring became I want to be her instead of I want to be with her. It was a shock for me to say the least. I couldn't believe what I was feeling even. I blamed it on alcohol, and went home. Soon after, the urge would come back in my senior year. It was all very disturbing for me at that time. I hated the feeling. I did all I could to suppress the feelings, and likely overcompensated as many here have also done. It wasn't until just 3 years ago nearly to the day that I began to really accept it all. Yes, I had CD'd on several occasions prior to that. But, never for long periods of time, and typically I would feel guilt ridden afterwords.

    Had I had sisters, or a better bonding with my mother, perhaps I would have experienced it sooner. It will eventually come through one way or another.
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  17. #17
    Silver Member Sarah Louise's Avatar
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    I recently remembered something that suggests this started at a very young age. At about age three I had a doll. According to my mother, I had asked for it about two years old. While I don't remember this, I do remember my older brother teasing me about having a doll. I responded by acting all boyish and ripping its arms and legs off! I wonder if the desire to be girly was always there and I've just been denying this and trying fulfil society's expectation of a male every since.
    Last edited by Sarah Louise; 12-18-2015 at 10:32 AM.

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    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I recall wearing my babysitters high heels when I was 4 or 5

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    I can state without reservation that nothing happened to me when I was a child that was remotely traumatizing. I had the Brady Bunch life. My parents loved me and told me so every day. I was raised as the stereotypical boy: sports and dirt. I do this because it is something innate.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 12-18-2015 at 12:14 PM.

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    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Sarah: At about age three I had a doll. According to my mother, I had asked for it about two years old. While I don't remember this, I do remember my older brother teasing me about having a doll. I responded by acting all boyish and ripping its arms and legs off!
    Good thing they didnt give you a cat!!

    - Suzie

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    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    if wer'e looking at fetishes only, almost undoubtedly these come from imprinting through life. Even for example desires for asphyxiation can be traced to events where oxygen was withdrawn by accident during birth, or many other possible cause-times. As Reine points out, traumas are often positive experiences, they are just impressions left by life that create resonances. However, every time i feel i've "got it all figured out", something comes along to say "no you don't", and that's the rich tapestry of life. I can look back and see possible events and situations that led to my present CD desire, maybe together they all explain it, or maybe it was latent and just awaiting the right soil conditions to trigger the first shoot that became the cd flower.
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    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    It starts in the womb.

    It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

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    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    We're all born this way, or with a tendency to be this way. Case closed.

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    Junior Member vixenvicki's Avatar
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    We're all born pre-programmed with certain genetic predispositions and at some point, something may trigger one or more of them to come out. Some of us got triggered at a young age and for some, it didn't happen until later in life. I think it's just a question of at what point it started to come out and get acted upon.

  25. #25
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    It starts in the womb.
    I guess that's one way to look at the progression into being in a closet!
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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