Dressing Up in Office

[leonal123]

Hi All,

I need an advice. I am trying express my femininity and softness from the way I dress as well. I am now growing my hair long.
Now since I don't have a fixed dress code at office. I was thinking what if I wear some gender neutral clothing of maybe something like Penny in Big Bang(Attaching a pic), will that be okay? I have a few questions
1. Have you dressed up in office like that?
2. Do you think it would create some issues at work place? And may back fire? Do you think if may hinder professional growth?
3. Has anyone done this before and ran into issues? How did you deal with it?
4. Also I am straight so do you think it may be a problem if I come out to some extent like this?
5. Do you know anyone who is living full-time as women without surgery without much issues?
6. Do you have some other dressing ideas?
7. Lastly, do you think that in near future guys would be able to dress up at work place and everyone would accept it?
I adore Alicia Florrick's character from Good Wife and I wish I could dress up like her. But I don't want to undergo any surgeries and come out as Trans. I know companies are supportive towards the Transgender community but would they support crossdressing at work, that the question which worries me.

I would appreciate the responses and support.

[reb.femme]

How is your company on mixed dressing? Would they be OK if cleared with them first or is it OK to just turn up as is, so to speak?

The UK is generally very tolerant on this type of thing, but I would never countenance just turning up even in androgynous attire, without prior discussion. Some companies are fine with presentation but can cause consternation with HR if you tend to flip flop. Just a thought.

I'd love to be able to go as I pleased too, skirt one day, skirt the next. I'd try to mix it up a bit by wearing a dress every now and then.

Shirt and tie blah! Not for one day even.

Becky

Edit: Oops! Almost forgot - nice casual outfit but I'd still go for a skirt.

[Princess Chantal]

Hmmm that is gender neutral? In my eyes, they scream feminine without peep of masculinity

[audreyinalbany]

I agree…they don't look very 'gender neutral" to me

[pamela7]

Hi All,

1. Have you dressed up in office like that?
2. Do you think it would create some issues at work place? And may back fire? Do you think if may hinder professional growth?
3. Has anyone done this before and ran into issues? How did you deal with it?
4. Also I am straight so do you think it may be a problem if I come out to some extent like this?
5. Do you know anyone who is living full-time as women without surgery without much issues?
6. Do you have some other dressing ideas?
7. Lastly, do you think that in near future guys would be able to dress up at work place and everyone would accept it?

1. the question is appropriate to your employer. I hear some employers are seriously draconian about dress style while others do not care - better ask HR than us.
2. see 1.
3. no issues but plenty of scare stories on this forum to suggest treading carefully
4. not a problem
5. me
6. go more andro - longer black polo top over the jeans
7. yes it is coming, in fact it's going to be high fashion soon

[Sky]

I think we all agree it's not gender neutral so yes, you will be outed. Whether your office is full of open minded, tolerant people, or cavemen bigots, or a mix, only you can have an idea. What will happen in the future we can only guess. If a woman from the early 1900s had been asked whether most women would wear pants everyday, she would have laughed. Same with men wearing earrings before the 80s. Maybe in five years all guys will be wearing that kind of apparel. Maybe we -men and women- will all wear triangle shaped lapels like The Jetsons. (I second that).

[lingerieLiz]

Bigger question is will you interface with customers? While in say a call center no one might care. If you interface with customers it may make a big difference.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have just dipped your spoon in the soup to taste it, try a lot more research first, there are enough answers here for you to make a wise decision.

For now, leave it go.

[Vickie_CDTV]

The top is not gender neutral by any means (that neckline is not male), even the shoes are dubious.

I don't know if IL is an "employment at will" state like NY is, but if it is, you can be fired immediately for no reason given at all. Even if IL isn't an at-will state, they can wait to find some excuse to get rid of you.

This is your livelihood on the line, I'd really think twice about it. If you are not a TS and can survive living male you are so much the better for it. Jobs are hard to come by in the rustbelt and things are not going to get any better. I'd stay on your employers' good side and not rock the boat, unless it is a life or death issue as it is for TS it isn't worth it.

As far as being straight goes, well, dressing like that most women are less likely to find you attractive. Just the way it goes.

A majority of TS live without having the surgery, whether the want the op or not. A majority never have it, due to health (come with risks) or financial issues (it isn't cheap), or just don't feel they need it.

[Mollyanne]

I would play it safe and ask HR before I would do something that I might regret.

Molly

[Kate Simmons]

It depends mostly on you, your company and your co-workers. Just remember if you decide to do it, you may have to deal with any repercussions of doing so. Just be prepared.

[Krisi]

My advice to any crossdresser is to keep your little "hobby" as far away from your workplace and co-workers as possible. Nothing good can come from it and a lot of bad can come from it.

To answer some of your specific questions, yes, I think it could be a problem and I definitely think it would hinder your professional growth. Companies hire people to do a job, not to cause commotion. You might not lose your job but you may lose respect and limit your potential for promotions to where you would be supervising people.

I don not think there will come a day when men can come to work in skirts and blouses, wigs and breast forms. That is, unless you're working at a crossdressing retailer.

If you are in some sort of professional career, you should think seriously about what you do at work or around your co-workers because it could impact the rest of your professional life.

[Taylor186]

It also depends on what you look like. If you are over weight or built like a fullback then none of these [items shown] work. If you are already androgynous looking, and often being mistaken for a girl while in guy-mode, then maybe you can get away with the pants and shoes. That said, jeans were never allowed at my place of work, even on casual Fridays.

Also, long hair alone does not scream softness and femininity as anyone who was around during the heyday of the Eagles, Led Zeppelin (and any number of 80s big hair bands) can attest. Softness and femininity comes more from your behaviors and actions than it does from your clothing.

As for question 7: That's not going to happen in my lifetime, nor anyone's who is alive today. Cultural progress happens at a glacial pace. Fashion leaders/designers have had men in skirts for over 50 years (probably longer) but that look has never made it on main street.

[Stephanie47]

I really do not understand this inherent drive to wear women's clothing in a work environment unless you're transitioning from man to woman. I've always approached life with the concept of "risk v. reward." So, what's the upside of declaring yourself as a cross dresser to coworkers? You may think you will feel better until the circle of friends grows smaller and smaller. And, maybe nobody cares to work with you on projects. Or you become a wall flower at the Christmas party. There's a time and place for self expression. I think most cross dressers view their desire to wear women's clothing and appear as a woman to be a private affair. That does not mean she does not go out for strolls or shopping en femme or to clubs. It means she chooses time and place when there is little risk to upset or negate the positive feelings that come with being en femme.

In the State of Washington the law protects sexual minorities from discrimination. And, that includes cross dressers. So, here, if you desire to wear a dress, hosiery and heels to work, then you can. But, I have not heard of one instance where a cross dressing man as asserted that legal right. Yes, there have been many instances of mild uproars over transitioning men and women using the locker rooms of the sex they identify with, but, that is a totally different issue.

Just keep in mind, once the Genie is out of her bottle, you cannot get her back in.

[litangel]

Go for it! It is exciting that you are expanding the places you can express yourself fully!
1. Yes! I dress femme all the time at work. Dresses, bras, lipstick, the works. I work in a very alternative medical clinic where our doctor specializes in trans patients, Super supportive environment. It has been a great place to experiment, find out which looks don't work.
2, It could lower your esteem in some folks eyes. Again, not so much for me because of where I work. Our agency head looks like a nerdy version of ZZ Top. anything goes here. Also, I'm in Oregon, progressive culture in general.
3. I have heard of folks getting fired, not officially for dressing, but it seemed like the real reason. This was mostly in lower end jobs in organizations with a lack of integrity.
4. In my experience, folks will perceive you as gay, and you may have to do a bit of education. Also, you will reduce the pool of female people who are attracted to you, but hey, you couldn't really be with the folks who don't like you the way you are anyway!
5. There is a pretty diverse range of trans folks in Eugene, where I live. I think an ideal place to do this would be Portland or Seattle, or the bay area, I imagine.
6. I liked the look with those clothes you chose. I wore that kind thing for a while til I was more comfortable to fem out.
7. I don't think it is right around the corner, but also not as far away as it may seem. Just look how much things changed this year. Again, I think this will be regional. It will be acceptable in hip parts of California about 50 years before Alabama.