Breaking the ice 😨 (or, You can't throw a 'good' punch when you're laughing 😁 )

[Robin414]

I'm out (shopping) a lot more lately in what I call my new full time 'quick n' dirty tween look' (won't elaborate but let's say 60/40 F/M...(on that scale lets say 90/10 is a hall pass)...anyway, it's all good but I occasionally get a SA who is at worst uncomfortable or at least confused...I 'get it'...but now that my 'don't give a crap' pressure is increasing (that's the non scientific term for confidence BTW 😉 ) I think I'll try 'cracking wise' to break the ice' 😂

Anyone else use that and any 'cute' TG one liners you use...just curious...or am I on the cutting edge of this phsycological realm LOL 😂

Here's one to start the ball rolling

"My parents always said 'You need to be more like your sister!'...OK, how's this! 😉 "

Heard that one on AGT last season

[Laurana]

I went out quickly today to get a six pack and some food and I had the guy at the drive thru packy give me a double take as I asked for my beer. So I put a hand on my face and said "What? Do I have something on my face?"

[Robin414]

OK, I'm totally gonna use that! 😀

[Tracii G]

That is a good one indeed.
I have used the line you can close your mouth now if you want.

[reb.femme]

'That's a cracker' as Irish comedian Frank Carson use to say.

It's 02.30 in the morning and I've just had my first laugh of the day. I also claim all rights as owner of said gag and shall endeavour to use it ad nauseam.

Becky

[kittie60]

Yes I have had them looks also and I usually tell them" yeah, you wish you look this good " it stops them in their tracks quick.

[pamela7]

"rainbow farts smell sweeter, don't you think?"

[Kate T]

Be careful Robin. It is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. One is admirable, the other unattractive.

And it is time we stopped regarding every muggle as a potential adversary. Did you ever consider that perhaps both you and the salesperson would be better served by you being empathic and considerate? That maybe just a little positive impression will go a long way? You don't have to be a doormat but perhaps look for a connection point, something in common. You can make jokes but try using language that puts them at ease, that is less confrontational. I suspect you will find far more benefit from that than from trying to be a smart ass.

[Robin414]

Smart ass? I'm actually pretty shy in public and certainly far from a 'smart ass', I find humor always eases tension, regardless of the circumstances 😀 People by very nature are usually uncomfortable when presented with something they don't often encounter (unless they're Alpha types, but then they just mask it well IMHO).

Smart ass? No, just trying to find ways to break tension in the 30 - 60 seconds I have to interact with someone I've never met before who just plain doesn't know how to...well...interact 😉

All that said though, I appreciate the perspective!

[alison1977]

I find saying anything to anyone in public can open the door to all kinds of unwanted / inappropriate comments. Be weary of what you say and who you say it to.

[jenniferinsf]

i have never had to but...perhaps ala laurana...."what - are my eyebrows crooked?"

[Krisi]

I'm going to agree with Kate T in post #8. I think she gives the best advice on this thread. These people aren't out to get you, they are just doing a job to support their families. They see hundreds of customers in a day. You are just one of them.

[ambigendrous]

I agree with Robin - there are different ways to handle that moment when a stranger is abviously taken aback by our appearance. If you show embarrassment or fear then it puts you at on the defensive, and leaves you open to ridicule. On the other hand if you project confidence and show that you have a strong enough ego to laugh at yourself it puts that person at ease, and even puts THEM on the defensive - they see that there's little they can do to humiliate you!

My first time in public I was wearing an ankle length denim skirt, a half-sleeve polyester top, hose, and flats and took a walk through a local mall. Now, I'm 6 ft tall, relatively skinny, bald, and sport facial hair so I do NOT "pass" in any sense of the word! I was pretty much ignored as I strolled through the mall, stopping in several stores to browse. That is, until I passed a group of Hispanic males - looked to be in their 20s or so. We were about 50 feet apart and as I passed them I heard wolf whistles and laughter. Now, I could have run away in shame, or turned to confront them in anger. But I chose to ignore them completely - I turned so that I could see their reflectkion in a store window and watched as they continued their demonstration. I then noticed that pretty much everyone in the area was looking at THEM, completely ignoreing me! So, they had tried to get a reaction out of me and humiliate me but all they succeeded in doing was to draw attention to themselves!

[Helen_Highwater]

I have a few one liner's to use with SA's;

Hi, how's your day going?

Morning/afternoon (use as appropriate), things seem quiet/busy (use as appropriate), today?

Hi, is it me or is it warm in here?

Basically it's using the old ask an open ended question technique. It's very difficult for the SA not to respond with something resembling a sentence. It gives you the "in" into a conversation of sorts albeit brief. You both chat while they scan, wrap and ask if you have/want a store card. It makes you more normal, more human, just another customer. I think it's in the CD handbook, section 4.3.5.2 and I need to paraphrase here; Do what you can to put a startled muggle at their ease. It's easy to confuse uncertainty on the part of an SA with animosity.

Think; have you ever been introduced to someone, gone to shake their hand only to find they've lost a limb or that they've severe facial disfigurement. Remember that split second of panic as you figure out how to react? OK for an SA to be faced with a CD'er isn't quite he same but it doesn't hurt to help them out.

And yep, at the end make eye contact, smile and say "thank you" like you mean it

[Robin414]

Great advice Helen!

@Krisi - I absolutely agree, there's certainty no 'hate' whatsoever, I genuinely empathize though and if someone reacts to ME in an uncomfortable way (I get it)...I react in an uncomfortable way...negative feedback loop..gets awkward pretty fast like a tailspin in a Cessna 😵