I told my wife before we were married in 1966. Although over the years I’ve increased the frequency and the degree that I crossdress she has always been a solid 2,
I’ve been out to several conventions, with her encouragement, but we’ve never been out together.
I know if we did go out, with me dressed, she would be more worried about how any negative reactions would affect me rather than any reflection on her.
Having read through the posts I feel those that have lost ground over time have tried to push the boundaries too quickly.
I think many of you should read and learn why attitudes have changed and what specifically turns your SO off so to speak.
Others have taken it gradually and generally met with success.
Disaster can come at any time so remember all that bridge building can come tumbling down very quickly.
So read carefully and patience does help to mend those fences.
Good luck.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Definitely a 4 for me. She has been very vocal about me not dressing at all and would be extremely angry with me for continuing to dress. She believes that my talking to a therapist will help stop the behavior. At least the last one I saw understood that the urge doesn't go away and counselled me to be tolerant of her rigidity.
For my wife, it is a mixture of # 2,3 and 4. I do not dress in her presence. She has bought me a couple of small feminine items. We do talk about it from time to time. There are plenty of non conversation small usually playful comments or jokes. She is very respectful of me about it. My stuff is not hidden, but out of respect for her, not out in plain sight either. She willingly lets me wear the clothes that fit me that are hers.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Hi Krisi
Somewhere between 2 and 3. Its a DADT situation, she doesn't want to see me dressed, but has a couple of times. She knows where my stuff is and wants see anything new that I get. She has also bought a few things she has seen in a charity shop. Gradually I think she is warming to the idea of me being CD and is a little more accepting lately - I slept in the spare room for a few nights recently (en femme of course) and she was OK about it.
Vikky
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Adventure before dementia
Between 1 and 2. Only thing from being a 1 is going out, but we do also enjoy some inside jokes and laughs at the situation. She is more likely to buy for me than I do for myself.
I am blessed with a great wife.
5 is the closest to my situation. I was seriously dressing for several months when my wife caught me and $hit hit the fan. Stopped dressing as things cooled down, tried to stay away ... and we all know how that goes ...
I'd say my wife would be a 1, although the only times we've been out with me dressed fem has been on Halloween. She has siad in the past she would go out with me to local support group or girl's night out, but we've never done so.
A 2 here, definitely. It took a few months to get there - after she asked who I had bought a dress for - but we've happily been at 2 for best part of a year now. I'm much happier and even got bought a lovely dress for Christmas. The January sales are much more exciting this year!
Mine as well she allows a certain amount in public but I keep trying to push the limit she does like the fact I like shopping with her but she seems less accepting as when we were younger I think she thought it was just a phase or just a sexual thing but it has not slowed down one bit for me. Actually getting to the point I'm starting counseling this week to figure myself outOriginally Posted by Lee Andrews
I'd say a 1. Started as a 2, but mostly because we didn't understand it even though it's been a life long phenomenon. She has wanted to embrace it, understand it, and does the encouraging.
We don't go out, but that's on me 100%. I haven't ever even brought it up. She's joked about me winning a Halloween contest or something, but we know that would out me for who really goes all out with the details, etc?
She's not again of buying a lot of stuff out of practical reasons, but that doesn't bug me at all.
Here's the kicker...as I've stated before...I rarely dress. Sometimes a once every few months for a couple hours...sometimes a couple times a year. My wife would be cool with me dressing as much as I like as long as we kept it between us. We're parents.
I'm between 3 and 4 . The only reason I'm not a 3 is that my wife never sees me dressed and doesn't want to.
I would say a 4. She has seen me dressed and also been out with me dressed. But she does not want anything to do with it. She has said that she is ok with it when we go to parties, and with me going out alone. But other than that....NEVER.
I think that it could be because I look a damn sight better than she does.
Julie.
2-1/2. She accepts/tolerates but doesn't participate. My stuff is stored out of sight of other family members who don't know.
My wife is a solid 2. Truth is we went from a 4, that lasted for 17 years to a 2, 3 years ago. The change was her idea. I shop on my own and rarely leave the house dressed so 2 works just perfect for us. She gives me fashion advice and has even told me to add some of my feminine colors to my male wardrobe and not be so bland. Often in the evening she will ask me if I am going to have any girl time. She seems to know when I need to dress, she has no problem with me dressing everyday. I think she is glad that i enjoy doing housework while dressed.
I feel very blessed in my situation.
Hugs
Ellen Jo
Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
Truckin by the Grateful Dead
I must be very lucky, 1.5!!! She buys me girl stuff all the time
and I keep them in my closet. She helps with makeup and hair, and agrees to go out sometimes. She shaved my legs for the first time last weekend.
She's the best and I think I will keep her.
# 1, wife has no problem with my dressing at all.
#2. She bought me some nice things for xmas and helps with my makeup. With kids still in the house, we don't get to play together very often but when we do, it's generally a giggling, silly, vodka-fueled fashion show. : )
Two for me...
Mostly a 2, with elements of a 1 and a 3. Over the years she has brought the occasional gift for Vicki. We've shopped for Vicki while also shopping for her, and my entire wardrobe is in the closet/dresser. She has no problems with my under-dressing, or the occasional full body shave. However, actually meeting Vicki and interacting with her, is still on the to-do list. I told her up front about my dressing and she accepts it, but doesn't really want to talk about it.
2) She accepts it. She may shop with me, she doesn't make snide remarks or give dirty looks when I am dressed around her and she treats me normally when I'm dressed. I don't have to hide my stuff in the basement, it's hanging in the closet with my other clothes.
My wife is quite understanding and says it isn't hurting anyone. We in fact will go out together shopping. She will spend just as much time looking for stuff for me as her. She never asks me to go get dressed up though. I am the one saying "Susan's coming over if that's OK"
I am very fortunate and close to 2). She accepts it. We go shopping together and I don't have to hide anything, we share clothes too. She has no problem with my under-dressing and sometimes buy me stuff. She gives me space and time to dress, she is fine with me going out if I want to (I never had the courage to do so, yet). She does not mind looking at pictures of Claire, often makes compliments and suggestions on what looks best but she do not wish to see me in person. So besides meeting Claire face to face it is pretty close to 2).
- Claire
My girlfriend falls into number 1 with a caveat. She's totally accepting and encouraging, she sometimes even points out items I'd look good in, or more often than not, she'll notice when I want something and gives me a little nudge, encouraging me to go ahead. Sometimes she wants me to be in male mode, which I totally get. For the most part though, she's patient enough to wait for me to want to be in male mode. Man I'm blessed...
4 for me she actually just hates tthe idea totally
When we first met the first thing I told her about me was I liked to wear women's cloths. She thought I was joking so probably the third night she stayed over she ask if really did wear women's cloths I said that I was very serious. Her reply well I have to see this so after a half hour or so I emerged from my bed room skirt thigh highs heels make up. She looked amazed saying she didn't even have any heels that high. At first she was ok then she kinda changed her mind. The longer we were together I kept dressing when she wasn't home but she knew finally she had came back around helps me with my make up and has bought a couple of wigs for me. We have a ball I'm such a lucky girl
