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Thread: Wife's Attitude Toward Your Dressing

  1. #76
    Member Helen 2's Avatar
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    3.5 for me.
    She knows, seen me twice en femme, knows where I keep my things -but does not get into them (that I know of) and does not participate with me.

  2. #77
    Member donnaS's Avatar
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    2 for sure!
    Possibly 1 soon. Wants me to meet makeup artist and get the basics down.
    Meet others and have safe place to go out on town.

  3. #78
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    Used to be #4, DADT, until three weeks ago when we had a long (two hours) talk. I got through about half of what I intended to say. We will talk again.

    Now its about #3. She said she does not approve - but she knows she can't change the way I feel. She thought my going to a counselor would get me "fixed" (and she might still think that), but I have actually gained the ability and strength to say "I am the way God made me, and I am OK." I am not going to change. She has made negative comments in the past, occasionally, but has not made any in the past three weeks! My underwear in my drawer, and I know she has gone through it last fall, and at other times. My other clothes are hidden away. She has not seen me dressed.

  4. #79
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCCarly View Post
    1.5. Wife knows, enjoys, gives me some of her old stuff, and is very supportive. I am allowed to go out partially dressed or dressed andro, but -- wife does not want me out to friends, neighbors or relatives because she is afraid I will be mistreated or my career/business will be damaged.
    This. All of 1 really, but this concern for my and our wellbeing makes it a 1.5
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  5. #80
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I'm at #1. But, I need to quantify your "because she enjoys it", in case it means that I actually have a preference for going out with my SO dressed. I don't, because it is somewhat stressful (fear of being judged negatively, fear of running into people we know whom we don't want to tell). I do enjoy seeing my SO happy, however, and so in this sense I enjoy going out with my SO dressed despite the stress. I'm also happy when we go out in guy mode.
    Reine

  6. #81
    Junior Member Alleybee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pamela7 View Post
    This. All of 1 really, but this concern for my and our wellbeing makes it a 1.5
    My situation is 1.5, much the same as quoted by Pamela7. I simply can't go out fully dressed due to the region/ country that I currently reside. Fem-andro is the best I can manage outside, with my wonderful wife supporting me by my side while we go out and about shopping etc. I am so very appreciative!
    I am what I am, and that's who I am.

  7. #82
    KIM SHY KIM's Avatar
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    Happy New Year Ladies!
    I will find out later today. She mentioned it would be ok 2 weeks ago (a good incentive for me to lose wt.)
    Today we are doing a 24 hr getaway and I will be mentioning I want to make dressing and going out a more frequent part of my life (6 or more times a year) plus wearing things around the house. Hopefully increase the frequency over time
    My money goes anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5
    Wish me luck!

  8. #83
    Reality Check
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    Thanks for the responses everyone. Keep them coming if you haven't already posted. It's interesting, the spectrum of the responses, especially those who were off the scale. I don't think it would be possible to assign a number for every different situation and of course some of us might be high in one aspect and low in another.

    Someone suggested an actual poll with the results automatically tabulated. Some web forums have this feature but I could not find it here. Maybe after responses slow down I can manually tabulate the results and post them.

    Thanks for participating.

  9. #84
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    3.5) She tolerates it. I know she would rather I didn't do it. She knows I do it but refuses to take part in any way including seeing me dressed as a woman. She makes negative comments from time to time. She doesn't like to talk about it. Don't ask, don't tell. My stuff is filling many dressers and a full walk-in closet. She knows it's there but doesn't want to look at it.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  10. #85
    Having FUN !!! Nikki Elle's Avatar
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    #1 She is awesome.

  11. #86
    Aspiring Member Sarah Beth's Avatar
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    I honestly can't say where I am at with my wife with all this. It goes from totally with it and accepting and she has gone shopping with me and bought stuff and then the next thing I know she doesn't want to hear see smell or know anything about it. When our granddaughter moved in with us for a time a year and half ago I had to pack up everything I had and put in the storage shed. She told me not one sign of any of it did she want to see or hear about. After our granddaughter moved back home I brought my things back in and she asked me what it was doing back in the house. I just told her I had missed my things and she didn't say anything. She did then a couple of weeks later tell me if I had to wash those on my own she wasn't doing that laundry for me.

    I do wear nightgowns to bed a lot and she doesn't say anything and especially when the weather is cold I under dress most of the time and she has to know that I do and she doesn't say anything. She had been out one day and came home and I was wearing a dress and she didn't say anything but gave me kind of look that was like she was maybe upset. After I got changed I asked her if she was ok and she said yes why. Then the other day something came up about the lipstick she had on and she told me it was mine. I said I didn't think so because I thought all mine was in my case in my trunk. She marched me into the bathroom and pulled out the tube of lipstick and show it to me. The end of the stick was blunt and she snipped at me that it had to be mine because she would never have hers looking like that. I realized it was the one I had been using for a beard cover up but I didn't say anything to her about it because she has had lately a bit of an issued with me using makeup.

    It makes it hard to know what to do. Before our granddaughter moved in I had been dressing in the evenings a couple of times a week, since then it doesn't seem like is approved of. I am just treating it like DADT right now but I ordered myself some Christmas presents that aren't here yet and I'll have to see what her reaction is to what I got and how she is going to feel about me going to wearing panties full time.
    "It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
    Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
    If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
    That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
    It takes all kinds of kinds.

  12. #87
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    Between 1 and 2. Only exception is going public. That isn't going to happen. And that's fine really.

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Interesting way of doing a survey. It should be made a sticky, with a poll and vote so each member can only vote once, and we could keep a tally. It's nice to hear from all those with supportive spouses. I wonder what the rest of the 26,000 some odd members who haven't responded would have said over the years.
    I'll go. My ex wife situation was firmly a 6, with a new catagory, those who are aggressively against it to the point of committing a felony in hate.
    I'd mark it lower, but that's as far as we can go.

    How's that for a reality check?
    My ex-wife suspected as much and used my crossdressing as both rationale to cheat and the subsequent divorce.
    "It is so easy to exist, instead of live. Unless you know there is a clock ticking."
    --Anna Quindlen, writer, journalist, columnist

  14. #89
    Junior Member s.e.al's Avatar
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    Its between 1 and 2 what can I say my wife is a great person.

  15. #90
    carpe diem jenniferinsf's Avatar
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    between 1 and 2.

    for the largest part v supportive but when i push the envelope by wearing femme clothing or accessories or shoes close to home she is v v v uncomfortable.

    she says that it would embarrass others, because society frowns on us it would make them feel awkward....we had a bust up yesterday about it as i had torn out a number of magazine pictures and asked her about hair styles that i could wear.....NONE was the reply

    she really wants me to be a closet case

    i felt that perhaps my long hair made it too easy for me to push the boundaries (just add earrings, necklace and t top and shoes to go out) so.....for the first time in 40 years went to my hairdresser...showed her the picture of daniel craig as the latest james bond and said cut it all off. she gasped, the hair covered the floor - so now i have short hair (think leroy jethro gibbs). 11am on the last day of 2015 was the last of jennifer for the foreseeable future.

    the thought on my part, to be able to control my urges, is that no way will i dress en femme with hair like that. as i am not interested in a wig ....jennifer is going to be away for a while. perhaps a long while....a sad day given the level of support that i had received.

    i am telling our concierge and others...its was just a way to start the new year

    i had looked forward to a LBD and heels on new years, ended up with slacks and shirt

    ttfn

  16. #91
    Member Jacky Aikou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    2) She accepts it. She may shop with me, she doesn't make snide remarks or give dirty looks when I am dressed around her and she treats me normally when I'm dressed. I don't have to hide my stuff in the basement, it's hanging in the closet with my other clothes.
    Hi Krisi, thanks for the poll! Your posts are always poignant and sincere and usually ring true for me.

    Now then, you probably don't need a 90th or so reply, but my wife is typically around a 2. It can trend downward quickly if I don't behave, though!
    She does not want to go out with me en femme and forbids it in the bedroom, but otherwise I enjoy a lot of freedom. Even with our limited closet space she lets me hang my girl clothes between hers and my boy attire. She has given Jacky several hand-me-downs and gifts over the years. This year she gave me 2 dresses from Old Navy - one of which looked much better on the model than on me and will be returned, but oh well, we're learning!
    She supports my going to TG peer group meetings, and is glad I will be seeing a therapist soon to try and work out my conflicts within.
    With 2 young daughters at home, we both have bigger things to worry about, anyway.

    Overall I feel blessedly lucky and wouldn't trade my wife for anyone.
    I wish all the girls and guys here could enjoy at least as much freedom as me.
    - Jacky ^_^/

  17. #92
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    Sarah,
    I find it hard when the goal posts keep moving, as you describe your situation !
    It sounds as if she thought your stuff has moved out for good when your granddaughter came to stay .
    I said I was a 4 but where you are is difficult to say !

  18. #93
    Aspiring Member karynspanties's Avatar
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    Sometimes a 1, mostly a 2.5 Depends on her mood of the day.

  19. #94
    New Member Heatherose's Avatar
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    I'd say we're at a 1 1/2. I'm blessed because my wife is very supportive of my masculine and feminine sides. As I am with hers. But I've never gone out in public as Heather and really have no desire to. We get our alone time and it gives us both something to look forward to. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Go Seahawks!

  20. #95
    New Member Tonya Fox's Avatar
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    #3 she definitely tolerates it. I know she prefers a macho man, And I can be. I do get the looks and the comments, but we do like talk about it, like a lot since I just told her a few weeks ago. But I don't have to hide anything, she actually gave me a few things to wear and a box full of make up. But she doesn't want to think of it as anything more then a sexual kink. Hopefully more time and we may advance to # 2.

  21. #96
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I guess we are a 1 and 2 but mostly 1. But there are limits, like she does not want me to get forms. Totally confuses me.
    Part Time Girl

  22. #97
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    1 for me

  23. #98
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    I would say.... Less than a 1 now. It wasn't always that way. But with learning and talking and talking and talking and talking...... You get the idea. That is where we are at now!

  24. #99
    Member KrissyP's Avatar
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    Solid 4 for me

  25. #100
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    My situation is #4.
    Di

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