I've been dating this girl for almost a year now. We live 45 minutes apart, and both have hectic schedules. We're lucky if we see each other once a weekend. In another words we have been taking things slow. Great for a crossdresser like myself. I have not told her that I am a crossdresser, nor do I even know where to begin. However our relationship has escalated the past month or so. Heavy petting has led her to feel my shaven legs once. Actually they were not shaved for about a month at that point. But the little stubbles of hair begged her to ask: "do you shave your legs". My nerves went on end, and I answered as nonchalantly as I possibly could: "yes". She asked nothing more from that point, and hasn't since then. So as far as I know she knows me to be strange, or peculiar.
Anyway our weekend "make out" sessions have been getting more and more involved. (I made it to second base, HEY NOW!) However I am now finding my feelings to be more and more mixed for her and of myself. Over the past year I have stopped and started crossdressing at least 3 times. I'm more acceptant of my crossdressing as more and more time passes by. The past few times we have been together I have been showing her more signs of rejection though. I feel as my secret is just a major betrayal to her trust. And now it has almost come to an ultimatum. The other night she wanted to spend the night, but I sort of blew her off because I can't stand the awkwardness of the situation. I want to tell her I just don't know how. I don't believe I can do it face to face. My words get jumbled up, my thoughts go all over the place when she is near and I even contemplate telling her about my secret.
Is it ok to at least start the conversation in an email? Any other advice would be awesome.
xo
k
