I thought the need to appear as an attractive enough woman had gone. In fact have hardly thought about it for nearly five years. Now I can only think of wearing a skirt or dress again, doing my lips and eyes, using Miss Dior and all the rest and going out again, I shall, of course, but I wonder if anybody else has had such a long period of inactivity? Jenny Alice
I went for many years without crossdressing. Seems whenever I was in a stable, loving relationship the desire to crossdress simply wasn't there (seemed that way, but wasn't; I was just able to suppress it better when everything else was going well!). By the time I got married, I really thought that I had 'beaten it', which is why I didn't tell my wife anything about it, I thought it was all in the past. About five years into our marriage, everything going bad, and the crossdressing genie was out of the bottle once more. DAMN YOU YOU BAD OLE' CROSSDRESSING GENIE! Why'd you come out of that bottle and put me back into the closet! RATS!
Last edited by Lorileah; 01-02-2016 at 04:49 PM. Reason: you know you don't need to quote OP
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I tried also. To suppress it after getting married again. Two months in and my new wife figured it out.
She actually threw away some of my gem clothes I had in storage. She thought they belonged to the ex. No sweetie, those were my clothes you tossed out.
It was rough for a little while. She was hurt because I didn't trust in her to tell.
After many discussions, acceptance was clear and the pink fog was on heavy.
Now, for us, it's the norm. Dress casual or sleep attire every day.
I have gone for 2 decades, deep in denial and fully emerged in my male role and work. Than for some unknown reason I needed to dress and explore my femme self once again. I joined this site and all bets were off, I came to accept myself and my gender fluidity and now my weekends and weeknights are my femme self and I could not be happier. I doubt if I'll go any length of time without expressing my femme side again.
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
Jenny,
I think that we all have, or have had times that we go for stretches of time without dressing. For me, it was like Lexi was saying, when I was married and things were going well with us, I didn't feel the need to dress. But as soon as things got bad, I could not get into a dress again fast enough. Now, since I am single and live by myself, it is in my life almost everyday and I'm glad that it is too.
Hugs,
Bree
Brandy Mathews
I too have gone through periods where CDing was not even on my radar. Didn't want to. Didn't think about it. Then all of a sudden the urge comes out of nowhere. I am trying to find some common link that maybe sparks my desire to CD. I think one factor might be when my male life becomes super stressful and overwhelming. CD seems to give me a safe cocoon. It seems that in my male mode I am responsible for everything. Decisions being made. Financial obligations. Family stability, etc. It may sound sexist but I retreat to CD during these times because when I dress as a female I feel like some of those responsibilities are taken off of my shoulders. I feel a little more vulnerable. Someone should look out for ME for a change. Someone should take care of ME. Someone else besides ME should make decisions. Someone else besides ME should pay the bills. Etc.
Thank you all for replying to me 'Then(how true Courtney) all of a sudden the urge comes back out of nowhere'. Glad to know that I am not alone in this strange thing. I am wondering how it will feel when I can hear my heels clicking again and a dress around just below my knees. I suspect, wonderful! Thanks dears again, Jenny Alice
So True...... Thats why we do this.... We just need an effin Break from being in control all the effin time!! This is our out!!!!!!! our break!!! Relax and enjoy it!!
Tonya RoseThis is me! (song by camp rock)
I was 'out of the program' for over 20 years, not that I tried to suppress it, just no desire at all 😕 That said, the fog rolled back in a little over a year ago and apparently it was a hurricane! I think it's always been there but until then there was no way I could look like a woman so I was full on guy, now it's kinda 180
I had a break of about 20 years then started again last year. Since then I've had another 6 month break. On both occasions the desire to dress just stopped.
Most of the time, I'm so driven to program, write music, etc. that I don't care what I wear (or what I eat, whether I sleep, etc.). Most days, I wear the same clothes, or even pajamas if I don't have to go out; heck, I'd just be naked if I didn't live in a cold part of the U.S. Eventually, though, the urge to be productive quiets down, and I just want to be a slug and loll around like a proper Southern belle. It's then that I want to dress. So, for me it's not when everything's stressful and I want to escape: it's after I've been really focused and productive, and just want to crash.
KKat
When a beast is hurt it roars in incomprehension.
When a bird is hurt it huddles in its nest.
But when a man is hurt,
he makes himself an expert.
--Tony Hoagland, "When Dean Young Talks About Wine"
I have suppressed Carol for 15 years. I hadn't had any major issues until about 6 months ago and the rage to dress gas just got stronger and stronger. Fortunately for me, my wife went away for a few days, giving me the opportunity to raid her clothing.
She's going away again soon, so I'm planning on buying my own bra, panties and nightie.. Not much, but enough for a little girlie time...
When I was growing up I dabbled in my mother's lingerie draw. I wore her bras, panties (ugh), hosiery, girdles, slips and one dress that fit me (tightly). I was into self loathing. I did not understand why I was wearing her clothes. Society said cross dressers were gay, and, I definitely knew I was not. I lost interest. I was drafted into the army. During my military service I never thought of cross dressing. I had no urges or desires. Maybe I was to centered on not getting killed. Anyway, it wasn't until about two years of marriage that my interest in feminine attire was rekindled. Maybe I should blame my wife who was five foot two, 115 pounds, great figure, blue eyes for rekindling the desires. To see that lovely woman in the fashions of the time was.......cannot express my thoughts here. Anyway, I love going shopping with her to buy her lingerie and dresses. It was definitely an exciting time. Forty years later, she still is a good looking woman.
Short answer is yes. Thought and action free for about 3-4 years.
I suppose I've never thought of it as a bank of billowing pink fog, but that's what it must have been...
I've had periods of zero activity, minimal activity and then intense activity during 2014 followed by something of a lull in 2015 (still got out a couple times though...)
We're all different in how this motivates and drives us to indulge ourselves... what becomes clear to me (in even just a few replies from folk) is how deeply rooted an urge this need for expression is which rather gives the lie to those who consider it just a 'fetish or hobby'... It's clearly something much deeper and fundamental to our personalities that is enabled or emphasised during certain periods or events in our lives (for some of us...
Quite a few comments here ring true for me: some of it is escapism; some of it is expression of a repressed aspect of my persona... It is complex, for sure...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I think for me, the urge was reignited by wearing a kilt. The silly thing is, the majority of clothing that is considered female today, was worn by men in times gone by. Even knowing this, I am still not prepared to come out, due to societies lack of understanding.
I have a friend who lives 24/7 as a woman, in a loving relationship and a few friends who are in various stages of reassignment. I guess when I am ready, one of these will be the one I talk with first...
Thanks you again ladies-interesting Carol you could identify what 'reignited' your feminine self. There must be something which triggers it off again, something inside oneself which is just waiting for that trigger-a floating summer dress or just a hint of a once worn perfume. Who knows, remains a mystery to me. Just waiting to be called Jenny again though. Jenny Alice
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