First step

[EnglishBeth]

I'm going to see my GP next week for a referral to a gender therapist and take my first step on what I envisage being a long and testing journey.

I have researched a great deal and read many of the posts on this site. Being in the UK, I know that there is a long wait to see a therapist, then a longer one to start any treatment, if it is confirmed what I already know. I am going to start coming out to family and close friends in the coming months and plan to do so at work after I have seen the therapist.

As so many on here have said, I am making no assumptions on the reactions I will receive from those that I will tell, but hope that there will be acceptance by most. I am prepared for the worst, and know that I risk losing my family, although hope that I've raised my kids better than that. My youngest is 15, so they are aware of the wider world and we have always raised them to be open minded and accept the differences in people.

I have four children, two of whom have left home and have their own partners. My wife will struggle with this and I know that I am risking my marriage. I am torn apart with guilt and feel selfish, but I am living a lie right now and don't feel that I can carry on doing so.

Work is different in that I am a highly placed manager in a very large company, knowing most areas of our multiple offices. That being said, I am hoping that my popularity will help me access most areas and not be a freak show, although i am prepared for this. I am also friendly with our head of HR, so plan on speaking with him directly.

Apologies for the rambling, but needed to get this down. Rest assured, this is not a decision I am taking lightly and have wrestled with this for a number of years, but feel that I need to do this now.

I am sure that I will need support and guidance along the way and really hope that I can get some of this from you ladies.

Wish me luck!

Rachel

[Nigella]

Welcome to this side of life, you will find that there will be more twists and turns than Blackpool Pleasure Beach, but rest assured that the members on this side of the forum will share their wealth of experience

[JanePeterson]

Good luck!!! Please keep posting on your progress... For those of us poised to take the same first steps soon!!

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Rachel, welcome to the Transsexual Forum, there are a number of us here who are from the UK and who have been where you are, so don't hesitate to share or even to ask questions.

With regards to the Gender Clinic (I expect you'll probably be referred to Charing Cross), it is worth telling them that you are willing to take a cancellation - I gained a few months by doing this for my 2nd appointment.

[emma5410]

Hi Rachel,

Are you going to ask for a referral to a gender clinic (such as Charing Cross) or a therapist?

[EnglishBeth]

Thank you Rianna. Any help or advice gratefully received.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Hi Emma, would be the clinic. Sorry for any confusion!

[emma5410]

Hi Rachel,

The protocols changed in the last year or so. These are the new ones

https://www.engage.england.nhs.uk/co...-serv-spec.pdf

It might be a idea to read through them or even take a copy with you. Two of the main changes are that the GP can refer you directly instead of sending you to a CMHT psych. You can also choose which clinic to go to. Not all GPs are aware of the changes so it is worth going prepared.

This is the latest info I can find about waiting times at each clinic
http://uktrans.info/attachments/arti...ion-july15.pdf

[EnglishBeth]

Thanks Emma. Depressing reading on waiting times!

[becky77]

Best of luck Rachel.

[MissDanielle]

Best of luck, hun!

[emma5410]

Thanks Emma. Depressing reading on waiting times!

Yes. They are the waiting times from last July so I am sure they have got worse. I was on the NHS pathway but I went private as well. There is no problem doing that if you have the funds. Gendercare and Transhealth are two of the best known private gender clinics.

http://gendercare.co.uk
This is run by people from Charing Cross.

http://transhealth.co.uk
This is Dr Curtis who is FTM. He is probably your best option for hormones.

Obviously, you need to do all this at your own pace. I spent over a year in therapy before I contacted Gendercare or my GP.
Good luck next week. As Rhianna said, there are quite a few from the UK on this site. Our US friends may not know much about the NHS but they know everything about transitioning. They were a huge help to me in my transition.

[PretzelGirl]

Rachel, this is the start of a difficult path. I wish you the best. Keep coming here and checking back in. The support, positive or negative, is important.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations on your decision and I wish you the best of luck moving forward. Thanks for sharing.

[Sue Too]

Hi Rachel,

Congratulations on your upcoming journey. You have a road ahead of you that has the possibility of many unknown pitfalls. I question your plans for telling your family. This is probably the one item in your early transition plan that does not offer a do over. Once you let the genie out of the bottle you can never put it back in. There are many things that will come up during you transition that my make it advisable to put a temporary hold on you plans. You cant "untell" your family of your plans. Once they know, they know

If it were me I would wait until i was farther down the road before I opened the bottle. The one semi hard trigger point to coming out probably is noticaable physical changes from HRT. What is to be gained by coming out early to Aunt Sarah

Good Luck,

Susan in Phoenix