Turned on by men when dressed

[Mystique]

Lately I've been having fantasies about being with a guy while dressed. Does anyone else that crossdresses fantasize about this?

When I'm dressed as a guy I don't find myself noticing men.

It's something about giving into the whole fantasy of being a girl. I don't know if I'd go through with it but I'm definitely curious.

I just have crazy fantasies of a guy coming over my place and dominating me, making out all night, and falling asleep in his arms. It's turning me on right now. I don't know if I'd do this non dressed it wouldn't feel as right.

Regardless, I've accepted the fact I'm at least bisexual.

[Krisi]

If you've decided that you're bisexual, that's fine.

I can't believe that just strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change one's sexual preference. Having a fantasy of what it might be like to be a woman and be with (and have sex with) a man is one thing but actually doing it or even considering it is something else. For one thing, you don't have the genitals to actually do it so it's not going to be the same.

Clothes are just clothes. Breast forms and a wig are just props. They cannot change your feelings.

[Mystique]

Hmm, good point. I guess maybe the dressing part of me decided to explore my fantasies a little more and just became more open to it I dunno. Like my more wild side.

I still don't know if I'd go through with it tbh.

[EllieMayxxx]

I am exactly the same, i was bi-curious but my desires are really strong now. If I had the chance of being dressed with a guy I would definitely go for it. Like you when im dressed as a man it doesn't feel right. I would like to be with a woman and have 'best of both worlds' for me. But I totally understand your feelings.

[Mystique]

I posted ads on craigslist looking but I am super picky. So, it's never went anywhere.

[DanielleLee]

Simply put, and agreeing with Krisi, clothes have no impact on your sexuality... Period. End of story.

[CONSUELO]

Not uncommon, so don't overly analyse yourself. Your cross dressing is an expression of something else in you, as it is for all of us. Sure the clothes don't change you but the need to dress as a female does change you. Many cross dressers like to be together with men or other cross dressers and it can be very fulfilling. One thing that I have not understood or seen a good explanation for, is the interest in men when dressed yet if you go out in public you may find that you do not notice men in a sexual way.

[Krisi]

Here's an example to back up my statement:

A few years ago, a bunch of our friends decided we should have a "Pirate Party". Everyone came dressed as pirates, yet no one felt compelled to pillage or plunder. They acted normal.

[Mystique]

Well, if dressing is just the same as wearing a costume for you then sure!

It feels wayy different to me. More like taking on another personality.

[flatlander_48]

M:

I think all that happens is jusy allowing yourself to consider other options when you are dressed. I would guess that you are basically bisexual, or something close to it, and that dressing puts you in a situation where you are not constrained by being a "regular guy". Sexual orientation and gender identity don't change, but owing to society and how we've been reared, we may allow ourselves more or less freedom to explore. Also, remember that bisexuality is also a spectrum. It isn't 50/50, 90/10, 10/90 or necessarily anything else. All it means is that there is an attraction to both sexes.

DeeAnn

[Sky]

Lately I've been having fantasies about being with a guy while dressed. Does anyone else that crossdresses fantasize about this?

Some do not fantasize but actually do it.

Sorry to disagree with others but clothes do make the part, at least for a sizable number of us. I understand some others don't feel any change in sexual attraction whichever clothes they wear, and that's fine. But some of us do, very clearly. Check out the idea of "social and character masks" in good ol' Karl Marx (if you are the serious kind) or watch "The Mask" movie for some cheap laughs but essentially the same concept.

[EllieMayxxx]

like taking on another personality.

That is how i am.

DeeAnn, what you said has clarified somethings for me, I definitely like women more than i do men but I would only go with a man if one of us was dressed.

[Laurana]

Nope. I don't do this as a way to explore sexuality.I don't do it to have fantasies or have sex with men. Just because I wear a bra doesn't mean I want some guy trying to take it off.

[flatlander_48]

L:

And what you said fits you. Remember that NOTHING on this site is a One Size Fits All...

DeeAnn

[Katey888]

To Mystique, Charlotte and others of your persuasion (for there are many of you here, perhaps not so vocal, for obvious reasons...)

Your feelings about how your choice of expression or presentation affects your feelings of sexuality are ENTIRELY VALID - Enjoy them!

Unfortunately it seems difficult or impossible for some folk here to think or empathise outside of their own self-imposed boxes and they feel much more comfortable by trying their hardest to deny what other people here feel and experience, as if they are somehow tainted by the sexuality of others here and by loudly declaring "NO - I never feel that - that's just nonsense.." it provides them with a curious but nebulous reassurance that they retain some normality in a community that has their gender and sexuality compasses swinging wildly all over the place...

As for the logic of people at pirate parties not plundering - well, Socrates must be turning in his grave... I think we can all see the fallacy of an example that proves zip...

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

Of course you find men attractive.

You are trying to emulate a woman.

Aren't you?

[hope springs]

Yes OP, i am in the same boat. Hetero in drab, extremely bi curious while dressed. To the point my fantasies while dressed are guy only. Threads have popped up like this before, and most will say your delusional or in denial. Ignore them, its your life so live it how you want. I stopped questioning why the sexuality shift occurs while dressed and just go with it.
Your original question was does anyone else feel that way ( bi only when dressed). So im not sure why many want to tell you your feelings arent valid. While clothing doesnt make the woman. The potential attitude, personality and preferences can shift while dressed. And that shift could include fantasies and desires. We muddle our way through this however we choose.

[Teresa]

Mystique,
Not all Cders have this feeling because they may not have a female trait, if you do , the needs are met by dressing and the combination is enough to have feelings of attraction to a man. Some do have these thoughts occasionally , I'm totally attracted to women so I surprised myself when it crossed my mind for a short period.
I will say that viewing some of the more explicit websites can have an effect but that's what they're there for, the best action is to leave them alone and move on !
Cding is a confusing issue and it's easy to think I look like a woman I must act like a woman in every respect. The danger is if you go that far what sort of guy are you going to attract and what harm might come to you !

[Mystique]

[QUOTE=Teresa;3872753]
Good advice. That's what I'm thinking with this whole CL thing. Stay safe and CLEAN.

As for the logic of people at pirate parties not plundering - well, Socrates must be turning in his grave... I think we can all see the fallacy of an example that proves zip...

Katey x

Well, everyone was thinking it at least someone said it.

I've just been exploring more my sexuality more the past year or so. Like another poster said sexuality is not necessarily a black and white thing.

There seems to be this stigma that it's alright for girls to play both sides of the fence but the minute a guy mentions it he's labeled homosexual.

Regardless, the past few years I decided not to be so repressed and explore a little more. Oh well, I'm a perv!

[Robin414]

Of course you find men attractive.

You are trying to emulate a woman.

Aren't you?

I'm kinda 'non sexual' lately (yah, tried the red meat and porn idea...nothing 😕 Emulate? I AM a woman, it's not physical, it's emotional...I get it GGs 😊

[pamela7]

i really do only have eyes for my wife. I can admire other women, tho really now i'm more interested in their clothes and body shape than any thought of sex.
As to men, while crossdressed I remain the same, I just don't feel any attraction. It's not a denial Katey888 - when I was 15-early 20's I had a boyfriend as well as girlfriends, so I was open then - I just don't get the feel or urge one iota since back in the day. Maybe if there were a guy crossdressed with similar enough body form and looks to my wife that might give me a rise, but so far, nope, and I do hope it stays this way.

[Acastina]

To Mystique, Charlotte and others of your persuasion (for there are many of you here, perhaps not so vocal, for obvious reasons...)

Your feelings about how your choice of expression or presentation affects your feelings of sexuality are ENTIRELY VALID - Enjoy them!

Unfortunately it seems difficult or impossible for some folk here to think or empathise outside of their own self-imposed boxes and they feel much more comfortable by trying their hardest to deny what other people here feel and experience, as if they are somehow tainted by the sexuality of others here and by loudly declaring "NO - I never feel that - that's just nonsense.." it provides them with a curious but nebulous reassurance that they retain some normality in a community that has their gender and sexuality compasses swinging wildly all over the place...

As for the logic of people at pirate parties not plundering - well, Socrates must be turning in his grave... I think we can all see the fallacy of an example that proves zip...

Katey x

Very well put. You know that feeling when you're all ready to write a rebuttal to another's point of view, then you read exactly what you intended under someone else's byline? Like that. It is clearly denial for some, evidenced by the certainty and the occasional false analogy. I respect much more the simple statements of "It's not like that for me" without generalizing to others. My preference for the prenatal neural-connection anomaly hypothesis of gender (including sex, which after all has a physical binary and thus fewer inherent shades of grey) variations leads me away from asserting universal truths in this most enigmatic human behavior of ours.

Mystique's question is a common one here. May she find the courage and opportunities to explore it on her terms.

Craigslist is active and local, but your caution is wise. Be patient and picky and careful.

[Lorileah]

Dream of driving a Racecar doesn't make you a Nascar driver. Dream about flying: you're not a pilot. Thinking of sex with men while dressed? That is a common fantasy. But just because you think about it doesn't mean you will or can do it. The pirate thing is totally a red herring in this case.

Since I have played both ball parks, let give you my inside feelings.

Being with a man can be fun, if you like being with men. Being with a man isn't fun if you don't like men. It is scary and boring. And you feel bad afterward. Also take into consideration that being with a man, EVEN with safety measures, immediately marks you as gay or bi for many things. Do you give blood? Not anymore. Your doctor will probably suggest testing (but IMO everyone who has casual sex should anyway). I assume you would be honest about the encounter. Remember it can only takes ONE time to catch things. If you are married or in any other manner attached to someone, you put them at risk. Especially if you are on the down low. Risk/reward. Having sex with someone isn't like trying on a fetish outfit. It is FOREVER.

We all have ideas of how others would be. Some of us think being a woman means you clean the house, even though that stereotype has been quashed. Some think you get to be the belle of the ball, glass slipper. Some think you can walk the streets and get picked up (ell you can but not in a way you would find fun). Personally, I rarely wear slacks. In my world, in my mind, I see dresses as what my image should be.

People here often make the analogy about putting the genie back in the bottle. Being with a man is like that. If you like it, now you may want to do more. If you didn't, it is in your mind the rest of your life.

Caveat: Just because you think you play safe, doesn't mean you are. Things happen.

[CarolBrown]

Being and feeling like a girl is very much part of the fantasy, but, this girl is very much a lesbian when dressed...

[reb.femme]

Oh no it doesn't! Damn! Pantomime season is over.

What ever floats your boat Mystique, is good for you. I would agree with others in that dressing somehow allows you to fantasize or think beyond 'societal norms', whatever they are for you. Not something that happens for me, I'm all the man I need . Happy hunting?

Becky