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Thread: Here's my first question

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
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    Here's my first question

    I have been trying to get some Female clothing on line and it's not working right, mostly wrong sizes, I want to go to a store and shop, problem is I am male and I get very nervous in the Female sections, and to cash it out is highly impossible, I know there are others who have done this kind of buying the opposite sex clothing and have suceeded I tried to buy a few times but couldn't, any positive feedback would be great.

  2. #2
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    The stores want your money. They don't care if you're a cross dresser or buying for a wife. Green is all they see

  3. #3
    Member donnaS's Avatar
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    Jennifer is right.
    I get some stuff from Walmart.
    Cheap and its gives me more ideas for
    The expensive stuff.
    Plus, nobody pay any attention to you at Walmart.

  4. #4
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    I do not know if this helpful but my local Lane Bryant encouraged me to use their dressing room. My wife used one and I used another

  5. #5
    closet dresser Melissa73's Avatar
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    1st, welcome to the "club'.... we have all been there! 2) i have found in the beginning, thrift stores are best to get clothes at first. They are cheap.... and u can guess at sizes. (if it dont fit, u spent 1-2 Dollars, vs $10-20 on an outfit!......As u shop, pay attention to actual sizes. IF u buy a size 13 dress example, and its tight next try a 14 or 15..... and adjust as needed!

    BUt trying is the best part anyways..... get to pick ur style and wear different clothes

  6. #6
    New Member Alyssa's Avatar
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    Personally I just gather up all my courage and block out any negativity in my mind, and i fill my head with thoughts on how cute I'll look with the clothes I bought!

  7. #7
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    If you go to a "big box" chain type store, their job is to serve the customer.
    If you go to a private boutique, they are glad to have your business.

    If you act like you are doing something wrong, people will think you are.

    However if you act with confidence, they will think nothing of you purchasing female clothes.
    In fact, they will often just assume that they are for a female in your life and you must be very secure in your manhood to be doing so.

  8. #8
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Bruce, no matter where I shop? I rarely ever try anything on in the store. I take a small tape measure with me and measure the chest and sometimes the shouldefrs of items I buy to see if they'll fit.

    Of course, I still mite not like the way a piece looks or hangs on me. Expensive things I return. Thrift store items I just drop off next time I'm there!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
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    Hi Bruce and welcome to the forum! My first time was online from Long Tall Sally (pretty good size charts on the web site) and I chose 'in store pick up', great way to ease into it and pretty sure there's a LTS in T.O. 😉

    That was a little over a year ago, went in en drab but confidence builds, I still get a little nerved out shopping there after about 7 trips but now I go en 'tween', skinny jeans, boots, light makeup and find if I go first thing in the morning during the week it's pretty easy. Many times the SA even asks if I'd like to try it on ☺

  10. #10
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    Try Amazon. It is safe. You can order items and have them delivered inconspicuously to your home. And if they don't fit or if you don't like them, you can easily return them.

  11. #11
    Member CourtneyJamieson's Avatar
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    Welcome to the website Bruce64. Hopefully we can give you some good suggestions and help you out. I have been into big box stores, department stores, and boutique stores shopping for female items for my SO. I guess I was never self-conscious when shopping in the women's section because I was a man shopping for my wife. Never felt out of place. Even when 20-something VS sales agents asked if they could help. I usually said no, that I was just looking. Then when I went to the same stores to shop for clothes and lingerie for myself I was never nervous or self-conscious. I had done it before so it was no big deal other than I was looking for stuff that would look good on me rather than things that looked good on my SO.

    First go to Walmart. Nobody notices you anywhere in that store. I recently went in my drab attire and picked out some fem clothes. I threw in some men's jeans and tops and asked to use the fitting rooms. No glances. No questions. I spent my time and tried on the Fem clothes to get the right fit. Walked out with my Men's clothes on top and didn't get a second glance. I knew I then had some Fem clothes in hand that I liked and that fit. I would have had no problem going to a checkout counter but if that bothers you then most Walmarts have self-check counters where you wouldn't even have to pass by a SA.

    I recently went to the mall dressed in all Fem attire. I went into Sears which is a great place to shop. No sales agents roam the floors. I spent over an hour in the women's department looking at dresses, skirts, coats. I finally found a dress I really liked but wasn't sure of the size. I picked a size 12 (which I thought was right) and marched right into the unmanned women's fitting rooms. Tried the dress on to confirm it was the right fit. Walked out and nobody was even around to notice. The only dicey part is that if you find something you want to purchase you will have to check-out with a SA. My experience was wonderful. Even though she knew I was a male, based on my voice and cc name, she made no mention and treated me will respect. I think you will find most SA will be the same as they want your $$$ and their commission. My advice is to get the courage up to browse the isles until you become comfortable. (Remember you could just be a man buying for his SO). Then get up the nerve to buy something in drab and pay for it in front of a SA. Eventually you will WANT to try buying something in Fem and trying it on in a department store. Just one step at a time. Believe me, they will take your money and probably not bat an eye.

    As for shopping at VS to buy some awesome lingerie dressed in Fem.....that is still a goal out there for me to attempt some day. Not quite there yet but hopefully eventually. Happy Shopping !!

  12. #12
    Junior Member Just4me's Avatar
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    Welcome bruce. if you got a Ross near you they don't bat an eye at you trying things on in the dressing room I travel alot and have been in more Ross stores than anyone should ever admit to. oh and I shop in drab
    Miranda

  13. #13
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    I went shopping once dressed completely male except my nails were painted blue. When i went to the check out the cashier asked me how old my daughter was. I was confused for a second then started laughing and told her I don't have a daughter. Point is no one will know unless you tell them.

    +1 on the thrift stores. Most of my stuff is from there, i love it when all clothes are 50% off.
    Last edited by Gina Torres; 01-05-2016 at 11:17 PM.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Welcome Bruce. You are right were just about everybody on this forum was at one point or another. Shopping on line is tough no matter what you are shopping for. I Love Woman Within and find their sizing pretty consistent and they have a great return policy as well as some really cute stuff at reasonable prices(OK, commercial is over)
    Before I could actually trust the size I was ordering, I went to the Lane Bryant by my house close to closing time(at the recommendation of one of the ladies on this forum) and had the clerk 'size' me. She fit me for a bra and gave me a size range to work with. The sizes are different for tops and bottoms. My tops are size 18 and my bottoms are a 14. I don't do full length dresses because they just don't fit right.
    I ordered a few things in the size I thought would work from Woman Within and got lucky the first time.

    When I finally got to the point that I was ready to go out in public fully dressed, I rewarded the clerk at the Lane Bryant by purchasing my outfits for the big day from her. I stopped by the store after I was ready to go and I think she was as excited as I was.

    Moral of this ramble is, relax, as many have already mentioned, the sales clerk just wants your money and many of them, especially at some of the plus size stores like Lane Bryant are very accustomed to "us." and are more than willing to help.
    I think they know that if they make us feel comfortable, we will be good customers. The clerk at Lane Bryant still calls me by name when I stop by for something new.
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  15. #15
    Member Kevyn53's Avatar
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    Welcome Bruce. Two words, thrift stores. And like the others posted, all they care about is your green.

  16. #16
    Junior Member Charlyne's Avatar
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    Hi Bruce, I suggest going to a "secondary" thrift store. One of those that represent a local animal group or something like that. You might find the nerve (excitement) to try something on. Tell the clerk you are buying for your sister and you are about the same size.

  17. #17
    New Member Melissa B's Avatar
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    I agree with all the other girls who've posted. Thrift shops work well for me for shoes. I find that my local Good Wills have many new items sent to them from big box stores like Target.

    They too, Target, have sections in the back of the womens area with the markdowns of new items, 30%, 50%, 70%. Great item are found mostly on Tuesday and Wednesday, thats when they mark down the women's clothes.

    I'M trying my best to shop more in fem. I did a few times over the holidays but did not go through with the purchase to a SA. But I plan to get there eventually.

    Happy hunting.

    Melissa

  18. #18
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    I think all the girls have said it all, but I have a tip. Back when I used to be nervous, I would take out my cell phone and call someone. The added distraction of the phone call made it hard to be nervous. Truly, no one cares what you are looking at. Most if not all of the sales ladies will be very helpful. My favorite stores are Ann Taylor, MAC, Macys, and Nordstrom. Once you get a few garments that fit you will be able to better understand the sizing and be more successful on line. Macys and Nordstom even have an app on their web site that helps fit you based on previously purchased garments.

  19. #19
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    Hi. I can only speak for the UK. If I am dressed as a man I would always ask before trying on just in case someone complains and it is VERY rare to be refused even in small high-end female-only boutiques. Sizes can vary within a single shop, and they can also change over time - I always used to take a 14 in Phase Eight and now usually a 16 - but my old dresses from there still fit. I have favourite shops where they know me and are really nice to me no matter how I am dressed. Confidence (easy to say) and a smile open all sorts of doors including the fitting room. The first few times are the worst - there is only a small chance you will get a negative reaction and if you do just go somewhere else - don't be put off. Shops like LTS now regard men shopping for themselves as normal. Good luck.

  20. #20
    Reality Check
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    Yes, it's nerve wracking the first time you shop for female clothes in a store and it's even harder to walk through the checkout line and pay for them.

    The best thing to do is just run through your mind before hand what you're going to do and how you're going to do it. Do this several times so you have a plan.

    Now - Just go and do it. It's a bit like jumping into a swimming pool when the water is cool. You can't sneak up on it, just jump in.

    It can be easier if the store has self checkout lanes and it can be easier if you mix some generic or male items in with your women's clothes.

  21. #21
    @--}----- Sissy_Michelle's Avatar
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    Bruce64,

    Take the plunge. Go to a department store near closing or bright and early once they have just opened. Find a sales representative that your comfortable speaking with or bring your wife / girlfriend. Be open and truthful and assertive. I was the same way. Shy and not willing to ask questions resulting in a lot of wasted purchases and disappointment. Wasn't until I was in my favorite lingerie shop that I was asked, "is this for you or your wife" (she shops there too). I just blurted it out, "it's for me", since then she has helped me out a lot. But I don't go when they are really busy, and when other customers come in I conclude my business and leave. I have been caught coming out of the dressing room, and purchasing items. It will happen. I just had to tell myself, "who are they? And why would they be bothered with me?"...

    Department stores can be tricky because they seem to always be busy. Know your size if you don't wish to spend a lot of time in there. Or ask them to measure you. They are there to sell a product, the last thing they want to hear is you asking to see their manager because they don't wish to sell merchandise. "I am woman hear me roar", you can do it, go to Goodwill or a small outlet store near closing. They are more supportive than you think.

    @--}----
    Michelle

  22. #22
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    Welcome Bruce. Walmart is the place to go. It's a great cover up. Go buy what you want and what you think might fit. If you're that scared to buy the clothes alone try these few things. 1 - Go grocery shopping. Buy the things you need to fill the fridge and pantry. Then throw a few clothes in the basket. The checker will check things so fast they won't even care. Plus your stuff is all thrown in the basket and they won't care or thing twice. Do this with make up too. 2 - If you don't want to fill a cart full of groceries and just want the clothes, go get the clothes you want and get a happy birthday card for your wife (even if you don't have one). You might get this look from the checker as if "this guy is lame". You're a guy, you're supposed to buy lame gifts. Hahahaha. 3 - As another said go to Ross. I go there all the time and buy for myself. I look as long as I want and get what I want. Then when I'm ready I go check out. To break the ice with the checker I always ask how their day is going and if they've been busy. It takes their mind off what you're buying. Make short talk with them. Hope this helps cause it's helped me a lot. Cheers, Nikki.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    As said before, diversification works well, a bit of this, a bit of that, a pair of bras and a pair of panties, once you get the drift you will get used to it.

    real easy that way, go for it.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  24. #24
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    Bruce,
    Are you guessing your size or have you worked it out ?
    If you have trouble with on line with dresses you might find it easier to choose skirts and tops.

  25. #25
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    B6:

    Welcome! As they used to say at the Olive Garden restaurants: "When you're here, you're family!".

    I would be very careful on Amazon, and places that sell off new items like Sierra Trading, Overstock, etc. Reason being that it isn't unusual for them to not have the accurate sizing data from the manufacturer. Instead they will put up a generic sizing chart and it becomes a crap shoot after that. As we all know, there is great variance in the sizing of women's clothes. On top of that, items may change as a function of fit. Depending upon how an item is designed, it can be intentionally tight, form fitting, slim, regular, loose or oversized.

    Thrift Stores: I frequent a chain of thrift stores called SAVERS. They are in the US, Canada and Australia, although they are under different names such as Value Village, UNIQUE and Village de Valors (or something like that in french speaking Canada). Their claim to fame is that they partner with local charities where their stores are. Anyway, the thing about thrift stores is that you will rarely be approached by store personnel. That's not their job function as compared to personnel in department stores. I've shopped for DeeAnn as DeeAnn and as Don. As Don, I usually give female shoppers some extra space. Logic being that I try to avoid putting people in unpredictable situations. You just never know when someone is going to claim righteous indignation. As DeeAnn, I'm any other female shopper. Also, for the ones I've been in, the fitting rooms are all together and not gender specific.

    Online Vintage and Used Clothing Stores: The thing that is helpful about these shops is that they understand how sizes change from period to period and manufacturer to manufacturer. Therefore they measure the items that they sell and post it in the descriptions. So, matching the items with what your measurements are (or would be with bra, forms, padded panties or whatever) is greatly simplified.

    DeeAnn

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