How is Your Internal Feminine Growing? (especially for Gender Fluid/non-conforming)

[litangel]

Lately I have given a lot of emphasis to stretching my dressing in more feminine ways. And I realize I have not paid as much attention to allowing myself to experience internal femininity. I know that on some level, psychological traits and ways of being are neither male nor female, but living in our culture, there are some aspects that seem more natural for men or women. As part of my new years evaluation, I made a list of the inner feminine characteristics I would like to embody, or at least explore more in 2016,

* I want to learn to enter others space in a soft way
* I want to find venues where I can partner dance and follow)
* I want to let go of control around relationships and life in general
* I want to give off a vibe that invites people to approach me
* I want to embody grace and beauty from the inside out
* I want to be able to touch and express affection with both genders, and not have a wall up with males
* I want to value myself for my vulnerability as much as my competency
* I want to be more OK to show others my fears
* I want to trust life and surrender
* I want to leave space for others to pursue me (not always make the first move)

[Teresa]

Litangel,
What's stopping you doing these things in male mode, guys don't have to follow rules any more than women do ! Just be yourself, dressing doesn't become the same pressure anymore if you can integrate your feelings !

I'm not sure if I could live my life by lists anyway I can't see the point of applying unnecessary stress and pressure in my life !
The important thing on any list, be happy in what you do !

[Niele]

I won't follow lists too, but I think that have one could be usefull, not to have like "I need to, before die", but some kind of guidance, like archievements on Steam games, you don't need to do, but you feel great when you got it, even when not pursuing them.

I would like to be more soft in some places too, especially at home, maybe, even when I'm dressed up.

Litangel, I hope you enjoy the changes that pursuing this list could bring, some of them must be a really cool experience, some of them will teach you a lot about yourself!

[donnaS]

If your not living on the edge of life, your taking up too mich room.

[LaurenS]

Very nice thoughts. Thanks!

[Kate Simmons]

If you are true to yourself and your feelings, this will all come naturally in time my friend.

[litangel]

Hi Teresa,

Litangel,
What's stopping you doing these things in male mode, guys don't have to follow rules any more than women do ! Just be yourself, dressing doesn't become the same pressure anymore if you can integrate your feelings !

I'm not sure if I could live my life by lists anyway I can't see the point of applying unnecessary stress and pressure in my life !
The important thing on any list, be happy in what you do !

I use my femme aspect as a tool, to stretch myself, I don't really have guy mode anymore, I do have a more andro mode, but I find anything I stretch in exploring femininity naturally oozes into all of my life.

I am a list person, they work for me. I do not see this list as pressure or something that I must do, but as an invitation. I am going to choose one intention a week, and just let that be part of my mental set for the week.

What i am most interested in hearing from others is, in what ways do you see yourself growing and expanding in ways that you or others may think of as feminine, whether you use a list or not

Blessings,
Kimberly

[Niele]

looking by this point of view, there is some topics on your list that I would like to do my best to do, like:

I want to embody grace and beauty from the inside out

I want to give off a vibe that invites people to approach me

And sometimes I think about this:

I want to be able to touch and express affection with both genders, and not have a wall up with males

But I don't have that feelings about being with a man in my side....

[docrobbysherry]

I waited 3 years for my "female side" to appear. But, I gave up waiting for her to show 5 years ago.

Apparently looking like a female is it for me. And, looking like one makes me THINK I feel like one occasionally, too. I'll just have to be satisfied with that, I guess.

I quit making lists for Sherry years ago. She keeps pushing me to do things I never, ever thot possible!

[Saikotsu]

I'm glad you acknowledge that not all psychological or behavioral traits are gendered, because I know plenty of women who don't fit your list of feminine traits. I can think of quite a few women who are very take charge in relationships and life, who dislike touching and being touched. That said, if these are traits you want to embody, more power to you.

As for me, a lot of the women in my life are really tough. They've been through things like cancer, rape, depression, anxiety, and domestic violence. But each of them eventually overcame their demons and made it through. Some are still fighting to this day. No matter how bleak things got, they stayed kind and compassionate. They supported others, even as their own lives fell apart around them. And they in turn took strength from those around them to put their lives back together. I'm proud of each of them, and they inspire me.
Those are the traits I want to embody. Determination and will that can overcome any of life's hardships.

The strength to feel compassion for others even when no one would blame you for being bitter and angry.

The ability to admit when you need help and they ability to seek it.

[litangel]

Saikotsu,

I am inspired and touched by your sharing. And I love that you have an avatar from Ranma 1/2!

I think what each of us wants to develop in our "feminine" sides are very different, it is very individual.

[Saikotsu]

Thank you. But really, they deserve the credit for the inspiration, not me.
As for Ranma, oh what I wouldn't give for their "curse".