I talk to a lot of girls who are in the closet with their dressing for a myriad of reasons. None the less, most don't want to be. Fortunately for me, I'm not one of them. What I am curious about is are there more of us in the closet or out. I'm leaning towards more that are in. However, I must admit I have no idea what the real answer is. Care to weigh in?
Donna, I am betting there are more folks in the closet than out.
However like you I am out of the closet "finally"
Best thing I have ever done is accept myself for who I am, besides hiding in the closet is no way to live life, and there is no one to talk to in the closet.
Last edited by Lauri K; 01-07-2016 at 09:52 PM. Reason: shitty typing
What do you mean by out? I don't live 24/7 nor do the neighbors or friends know. My wife (and one son) knows and I go out in public a fair amount in the cold or cooler months. Am I out or in?
Please call me Lisa!
There are untold.numbers of.people who are still in the closet. Fortunately I'm not one of them. I've been out for years and is the best thing I have ever done. And by the way Donna welcome to the forum. It's a great place to be.
I'm in the closet I guess.My x wife new of my dressing but my kids don't.
Yes, what do you mean by that? Have told some or all people, go out of the house with or without telling any existing family and friends, etc.?? I go out of the house all the time and interact with the general public, but I am not out to family and friends.
Ever since the weather has turned colder I've been dressed 24/7. But for me that's just a pair of jeans and some sort of t/tank/long sleeve shirt, with bra/forms all under a sweat shirt. I go everywhere that way(except for the gym, there I don't wear bra/forms).
During the warmer months is when it'll get tougher.
So I guess I have one foot over the threshold.
I was so in the closet that I built a large addition to my house just so I had
more room to roam around in.
I am a large person, nothing fem about me, plus a Mustache doesn't help either.
I do under dress and wear fem jeans only, so I am almost dressed.
Rader
Yeah, you really need to be more specific about what you mean by out of the closet.
For me, I am out to everyone, everywhere about my gender non-conforming things. With considering myself transgender, I'm out to just about everyone. With cross dressing I am out to mainly just friends and family.
There will likely be more flavors of "in" and "out" than you would think. I am out to a supportive wife, but I don't "go out." I don't dress at my 1st home, but I have a second home that is my girl palace and decorated accordingly. I shave my legs and wear clear nail polish, but nothing more femme than that when in public.
The list of dichotomies is indeed a long one.
Last edited by MissTee; 01-07-2016 at 11:22 PM.
I go out dressed at least a couple times every month. But, NOT to any nearby venues where friends, friends of my family, or aquaintances mite see me. I consider myself a closet dresser. Because I'm more happier and more comfortable dressing in private!
My guess is; there r between 3 and 5 closet dressers for every 1 that is "out". Whatever u meant by that!?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
What, I am not your friend?Originally Posted by AllieSF
Suzanne
For me, in the closet means never being "in public" (ie dressed at home, by your self or other family members)
I would in that circumstance expect at least a 3 to 1 ratio - for every one of us who goes outside, 3 others will be only at home or underdressing
(not including the people with fetishes who probably aren't on this site anyway).
I believe for most people in developed countries, being see outside, in a skirt, would have to many negative reprocussions (it's socially more acceptable to be gay).
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
We have wardrobes in the UK - do they count...?
Definitely more in than out... and don't take the active members of this site as representative - people largely post here who have something to post about (not exclusively, but mostly) and the view from a closet doesn't change a lot... I'd say around 10:1 in: out - and...
You should read more here Rachel - there's a touch of fetishism around - especially at weekends...But yeah - if you added in all of the fetishistic TVs, probably 100:1
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I believe it's a closet of many doors.
Wife's door, 3/4 open.
Daughter's door, 7/8.
Small group of online girlfriends, full open.
Neighbors, slightly cracked.
This forum, picture window!
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
I'm in with the "in" crowd. My friends on this forum know that I am a crossdresser and I know that at least one SA at a Dress Barn knows that there is a guy that looks like me is a crossdresser and I'm sure that there are other SAs in a number of various stores who might suspect that a guy like me is a crossdresser - after all - why is this guy buying size 7 panties, or a 42 A bra (back when I could find one at Catherines) or Queen tall pantyhose or a size 42 slip or camisole? But beyond that, no one else knows (at least I think that anyway)
You need to define "crossdresser" as well as "in the closet". Some folks just wear panties or maybe a bra, some go all out with rubber suits. Most are somewhere in between. And of course there are those who are a "man in a dress" and those who do their best to pass as women.
Regardless, I would say there are far more of us concealing our "hobby" than out prancing around town.
Some web forums have a "poll" feature. A poll could be posted and the results tabulated. This one does not.
After a long time in I too am out and have enjoyed it much more then in. I find it to be an experience I never thought it would be.
Lisa, we could sistah's of another mistah'! Wife and one son knows, out about once a month, neighbors don't know. Isn't a garage with an automatic opener great!? Of course warm weather actually works for me. Long story.
good question I think there are a lot of us in the closet at least 3 in for 1 out but maybe high.
FOr me I would say I am in the closet but the door is open. I go out once or twice a month and I go to clubs movies malls and interact with folks in those places. My wife knows and a few others in my other life know. I kind of like the mystery/stealth of it and if I get outed no big deal at least to me. It keeps cross dressing fun.
Actually I getbored with dressing if I spend several full days dressed. It usually takes 3 or 4 before I get tired of it and need boy time.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I consider myself in the closet. I go out once or twice a week-to friendly establishments where I don't have to worry about disapproval. I go to meetings of a support group here in my town on occasion. My wife knows and my adult daughter knows. Except for a very, very small group of friends, no one else in my world knows about this. I'm not happy about it, but, this is where I am.
Very much in the closet and not likely to come out soon.
I know I won't pass as I am close to 6'2, so I would stand out from the crowd in public and that's before they see my long beard.
I guess the definition of the closet really sits around who knows. If you SO held everything as secretive as you do, then really you are still in the closet as much as anyone who is fully secretive...
As many others said - it depends how you define closet. I may be slightly out but creeping back in.
I have been going out fully dressed for years, going on holiday as Ssuan, and never had a problem.
But life changes. The stakes can get higher. The buzz from going out reducesn - when you know you can do it as much as you want you find you no longer want it so much. I no longer even want to have my toes permanently painted professionally.
My retreat is not based on fear. It is recognition that I no longer get much more from going out than staying in, and the risk to my personal standing in the community is now too great to justify that reduced outdoors buzz - I get almost all I want dressed from head to toe most of the time at home. I go out a couple of times a year instead of 2-3 times a month.
I consider myself securely in. I dress in my own home, alone. I have underdressed for work but no one, not even my wife, knows I have. The rare ventures outside (I can count them on one hand) were wracked with worry and embarrassment unless it was dark. Even then I felt unsure of my female appearance. I just can't see myself ever getting the chance to dress openly or when I want. But I'm okay with that for now. The closet is still safe for me.
You almost have to make this a multiple choice question. There are varying degrees of being 'out.' In my situation it is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." My wife knows of my cross dressing and has absolutely no desire to participate in any degree. More than thirty years ago was the last attempt by me to gain some sort of acceptance. I have related that dismal failure several times in threads. I just wanted her to buy a pair of panties for me for my birthday. We went to Mervyn's where we did buy a pair or maybe two, but, for her it was like a 'deer caught in the headlights.' I have a good idea why she is so adamantly opposed to the idea of cross dressing. She does not even snoop around and look for things. I think she does not want to discover any of my female clothing. So, if I categorize myself I figure I'm "Out." But, only in the sense my wife has knowledge.
It would be nice to have at least a wife who has knowledge and maybe buy a pair of panties for her husband without yet wanting to see her husband dolled up as a woman.
I think many women would see a husband wearing feminine panties to bed as a 'fetish' and not cross dressing. Maybe the GG's could weigh in on my thought.
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