Hello everyone,
As some of you may know from my previous post a long time ago I am in a situation regarding the care of my aging father. He is fast approaching his 90th birthday and is living in an assisted living facility since suffering a stroke nearly 6 years ago where he continues his daily routine of catheterizing and emptying/changing his colostomy bag and other mundane task, like trying to sleep or even walk. Fortunately he is able to do some of this himself because he still has his mental faculties and is able to have intelligent conversations with me when I visit him frequently. That is until last night where for some reason he begins to lambast Caitlyn Jenner calling (him/her) a freak, crazy and disgusting, unaware of who I really am. Seeking a response from me the only thing I could say was that we were all conceived as female in our mother's womb.
The dilemma is that he and I are dependent upon each other. He depends on me for driving him to his many appointments, buying his many supplies and delivering his mail. I left my job to take care of him and give him moral support through the tough times and perform many of the physical task he's not able to perform by himself and I depend on him financially.
So last night I almost came out and told him who I really was, but restrained myself knowing that it would end our dependency on each other and that it might lead to something worse for both him and I. I was so enraged with his conservative position I nearly lost it though I did rant about his nitpicking.
Let me make it clear that I don't hate my father, because he has been good to me over the years and I would like to care for him the best I can in his remaining time on earth, but some times it is just so hard to maintain my composure with him considering who he is and who I really am.
Thanks for your time and patience with me and hope to converse with you in better times.
As always,
Ilsa