Ladies Room

[Vickie_CDTV]

Some states have unisex restrooms at their rest areas/service plazas (NY renovated them over time and now has them at all service plazas on the Thruway, but I don't believe the humble rest stops on along the rest of the interstates in NY do), you might want to check to see if any exist in the states you go through. Barring that, you may have to exit the interstate and find a single user restroom at a McDonald's or such. Some truck stops also have unisex restrooms.

Most will say it is a stupid issue to worry about, but it is always good to be prepared if you are concerned, and find a way around the issue completely. Believe me, I don't take many chances, especially when their are minors in the ladies room.

[Krisi]

Keep in mind that protection for "transgender" folks doesn't apply to crossdressers.

[AllieSF]

Krisi, that really depends on how any law or regulation is written. Some say "the gender that one is presenting". So a crossdresser would be covered if that person is presenting as the opposite gender. Now how to define presenting could be an issue, but basically is the outfit is male or female. That is more or less how it is worded in California so crossdressers are protected here.

[Lorileah]

Keep in mind that protection for "transgender" folks doesn't apply to crossdressers.

but how would the official know which you are?

[heatherdress]

We need common sense to prevail for bathrooms and locker rooms.

For those who suggest national potty laws and regulations - unconstitutional.

For those who want a myriad of state and local access laws: how can you really define who is allowed where; if transgenders have the same access rights as crossdressers; how to prove if you are transgender; what degree of crossdressing gets you in; what is OK in schools; if we convert to unisex rest room facilities and who pays; if there are differences between male and female transgender and crossdresser access rights; etc; etc; etc.

Simple policies or regulations which provide for discretion may be best. There will always, unfortunately, be complaints, loitering issues, and unfair treatment from thoughtless bouncers, administrators, restaurant owners and law enforcement personnel. But there are fortunately avenues to address unfairness.

[Katey888]

We need common sense to prevail for bathrooms and locker rooms.
....
Simple policies or regulations which provide for discretion may be best.

That makes sense to me...

Perhaps your legislators could take a lesson from the old world - our public conveniences (restrooms) are covered by all the usual laws that govern behaviour (ie. assault, threatening behaviour, public order, etc.) so anyone misbehaving in that most private of public spaces is subject to the same penalties as anywhere else, regardless of sex, gender identity or dress. The allocation of male and female defined spaces is deemed to be advisory only... this also allows for anyone to use any designated convenience in an emergency without fear of committing a technical 'foul'. Why doesn't someone suggest this...??

Or is this a case that the US is committed to legislating on everything (similar to the German "Alles verboten" - All is forbidden - principle, except where expressly allowed...?)? Sad for you if it is - but I suppose that ultimately just leads to more work for legislators and cases for attorneys. Call me cynical (I am...) but who benefits from this all encompassing legislation, and who would benefit from a relaxation of the specific laws...?

Oh, I know we're not going to change state or federal legislation by discussing it here - it just makes you think... or some of us, anyway...

Katey x

[Adriana Moretti]

I think you just gotta be smart about it, and where you are at and the laws etc.......obviously unisex is the best, here in NY i havent had a problem using the girls,....and sometimes the guys.....

[Katie Louise]

Where I live in Queensland Australia, if you are dressed and you use the mens' room, you can be arrested for soliciting (because all crossdressers are prostitutes WTF?) So here you would be better to use the ladies' and get in, get out as quickly as possible or the accessible unisex toilets.

[TaraGrace]

oh wow, had not given this any thought at all (still fussing over what outfit to wear on my first time out naively with my head in the clouds).

thanks a lot, will deffinately give this some thought or ask locals for the Netherlands

[CourtneyJamieson]

I have used the Ladies Room at rest stops during road trips, at the Shopping Mall, at the airport, and in restaurants. I have never had a problem and never had anyone make a comment or look at me awkward. Now I try to act normal and walk slowly but I try to walk directly to a stall and close the door. I also monitor the common area until I feel it is "safe" to leave the stall. I make sure there are no children's voices and I try to time it so that nobody is leaving their stall at the same time I am. But I do tend to stop at the sink as I wash, just like any normal gg, and check my hair and make-up in the mirror quickly. But if I do see something that needs a touch-up I usually don't do it in the restroom but wait til I get back to the car. And when I am in Fem attire at any of these venues, I wouldn't even dream of going into the Men's room. Much higher risk of ending up with a broken face and a few broken ribs. But I know I do tend to blend a bit better with real girls as I am only 5'8" and 145 pounds. It may be a bit tougher if I was 6'2" and 240.

[MissTee]

In drab I find it completely safe to use deciduous shrubs. In femme, though, I always choose an evergreen lest I inadvertently out myself.

[Pat]

Perhaps your legislators could take a lesson from the old world - our public conveniences (restrooms) are covered by all the usual laws that govern behaviour (ie. assault, threatening behaviour, public order, etc.) so anyone misbehaving in that most private of public spaces is subject to the same penalties as anywhere else, regardless of sex, gender identity or dress.

Actually, that is exactly how it is in the US. All of the bad behavior that is illegal outside the restroom is illegal inside the restroom. And until it got turned into an issue quite recently it was always treated as a "better to ask forgiveness than permission" situation. We were such a small, invisible part of the population that nobody even thought about us. Now that we're gaining visibility and more people are coming out I suppose we reached a tipping point where now this issue has to get settled. We either need permission for the ladies room or protection in the men's room. The latter will never happen so we have to push for the former.

[Secret Drawer]

Here in Sweden, as it is a rather progressive place in general, more and more bathrooms are marked with the transgender symbol. If I had a clue how, I would post a picture, I took one the other day as I was proud of the progress!

[brandigirl]

Is this the symbol?

[Lorileah]

^^^ probably not since that isn't an internationally known symbol for a restroom

More like thissweden.jpg edit BTW OSHA requires access to restrooms for transpeople to match their gender identity

[AngelaYVR]

I think that engaging in the normal activities that women do at bathroom mirrors (hair, lipstick) can help put women at ease. But I will say that "passing privilege" plays an important roll although I suspect this is mostly self-policing as those who feel they don't pass well enough (meaning hitting a level that most people could agree that an accepted degree of femininity had been achieved, not 100% passing) probably don't go out so much.

[brandigirl]

Half of a dress, thats funny.

[CallmeAlice]

I usually travel GA, SC, NC.

Typically I don't use public bathrooms anyways. I've never really had the need to, but if that time did come I would, I pass really well. But I would recommend looking into the laws of the city you're going to. I see that you travel to NC, guessing Charlotte, I'm from the area. We just tried to have a law passed were we could but got heavy opposition and didn't get passed. But gender natural bathrooms are starting to get kinda popular here.

[Lauri K]

IMG_0960.jpg

Similar to Lorileah's post, you will definitely start to see more of these universal/ gender neutral bathroom signs. The San Diego airport is very LGBTQ friendly, that is where I saw this particular sign.

I am sure I will get yelled at for this statement, but if I am dressed up and I am in any way near or remotely close to passing I bypass the gender neutral facilities and use the ladies room.

Just saying, that is my preference, I prefer to be a lady among the ladies.

[Secret Drawer]

Yup. Brandigirl, that is the symbol now on more and more Swedish restrooms.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There's a proposed Virginia transgender bathroom law that is coming up for a vote in this session of the General Assembly.

I have a mind to go down to the Virginia state capitol and protest the law. I'm like to recruit a bunch of TG girls and line up in front of the men's bathroom in the capitol building and see how the legislators like a bunch of "ladies" using their restroom. That would be orth getting arrested for.

[Alison Lewis]

Once when I attempted to use the ladies room at a hotel in San Francisco of all places, a security guard stopped me and asked what I had down there. She said they received a complaint recently about a cd using the ladies room, so she'd have to ask the head of security if I could use it. I took down her name and left. When I called the manager the next day, he apologized and stated the security guard was wrong and he and the head of security would talk to her.