Hello ladies
My first post in the main section, please forgive me if the question has been asked before.
As I'm still deeply in the closet .
1.how did CDers connect and make friendships prior to the Internet?
2. How did you find support networks?
Thanks you
Rosie
I was in my twenties, worked up enough nerve to go to a meeting for crossdressers. I remember having a nice place to dress there, very little about what we talked about. From there, I met others which prompted me to go out to dinner and clubs with the group. Haven't been in a group environment in 20 years. Just me exploring with myself.
My answer to both questions is: "did not".
Welcome to the forum, Rosemary+
The only time I met another crossdresser prior to the internet was when a great CD put an ad in the local paper.
It was in the 80's. and I was trying to understand myself. I've never questioned why I was the way I was, I just wanted to understand it.
Anyways, I was browsing the want ads in the paper, and I read an ad from a CD, so I answered it. I told her exactly what I wanted. At that time I had no idea there were other intensions for why anyone would put an ad in the paper. Call it niativity if you want.
She did reply to my reply, and we set up a meet. She was quite a bit older than me I was only in my teens at the time. My guess she was in her 30's or older.
We talked for hours and I think I learned quite a bit about myself and why I was the way I was and still am.
It never went any more from just a great friendship. we went out on the town, she showed me the hot spots (safe). she showed me how to do make up and hair, mannerisums etc.
Besides all the gurl stuff, she had other interests, that I was also interested in.
That turned out far better than any on line meets that I've ever had to this day.
Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
The same way everything else was done before the internet. Word of mouth and actually interacting with peope face to face.
Thanks Ladies for all the responses , I never thought I'd get tha many replies!
Heather, thanks for the link a little bit of history
Rosie
There were support groups out there, just not a lot of them. You'd have to go to a major city, and, there was usually just one even there. The only reason I knew about other men who crossdressed was from the Kinsey report. That was all I found for years. No one else was discussing us, as it was just assumed by all that we were gay or transsexual. There were also clubs that catered to fetishists and alternative lifestyles, dom/sub couples, etc., where we could go and be generally accepted (although there were always a few who thought their own kink was perfectly normal, but everyone else was weird). But again, you wouldn't usually find these clubs outside the larger cities. A single male going to those clubs had about a zero chance of finding a single woman there, at least that was my experience.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
My first contact with others was as pen pals in the mid-1970's. There were magazines published by a CD named Cathy Slavik from Seattle that had personal ads from people all over the country and other countries, and back then, snail mail was the only option for contact. She published a few different magazines back then.
There was also Tri Ess, a support group for straight CD's, and they published magazines too as well as holding meetings. I didn't attend a Tri Ess meeting until 1985, and I made quite a few friends there.
My name is Carol.
Thanks for the answers
Ahh the old days where people had to actually get out of the house and interact!
It could be done you just had to be proactive and find others.
Rosie
Ps. Thanks for the welcome Salerba
Hi Rosemary, Before the internet and CD forms I was as lonely as the MAYTAG REPAIREMAN
.
The only thing that I had was the few books at the library and the XXX ADULT book stores. ~~......
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Primarily they corresponded via the various magazines for dressers at the time, Transvestia, The Transvestite (Cathy Slavik's), Tri-Ess Femme Mirror, Tapestry, LadyLike, and many many others.
Some orgs also did outreach on TV back in the 1970s and 80s (Tri-Ess, IFGE, FPE and others), and gave people an address to write to etc.
Phil Donahue the daytime talk show out of Chicago was very helpful in reaffirming I wasn't "the only one out there"
Penthouse letters (sorry) at least also brought it to my attention that I wasn't the "only girl out there"
The Village Voice carried ads for crossdressing parties usually held at NYC and Long Island bars. The scene was hopping in NY in the 80's and 90's. It was actually far better than it is today.
I had started wearing pantyhose when in my early teens and added a pair of my sister's heels a couple of years later. But I really got into crossdressing after reading stories in this magazine.Originally Posted by SHY KIM
I remember seeing an ad in Area Shopper before the internet age, from Erie Sisters support group. I can recall on more than one occasion seeing Ann Landers and Dear Abby answering question from crossdressers about where to find support groups. And I once posted an ad in a local newspapers personals section that had quite a few crossdressers looking to meet others. I had one CD'er contact me but lost my nerve and never did meet her.That happened just before I got a computer and internet access
Last edited by Allison2006; 01-21-2016 at 10:12 PM. Reason: Spelling
Back in the early 1970's when I first started contacting other crossdressers, I found out about an organization known as FPE through a magazine article. FPE was Virginia Prince's organization, which years later merged with another organization to create Tri-Ess. I joined FPE sometime around 1974 and was sent a membership directory. The directory was really just a member's name, membership number, some minimal info about the member, and the city that person lived in. If you wanted to contact someone, you wrote a letter and put your letter in a stamped envelope with the membership number of the person you were trying to contact written in pencil on the front. You then put that envelope in another stamped envelope addressed to FPE and put it in the mail. If you were lucky, you would get a reply in between two and four weeks. Even though it was slow, I did develop a fair number of contacts, and was able to eventually meet many of them in person.
Phoebe
My only contact with another CD'er, pre internet, happened quite by chance. I was fully dressed very late one night after quietly sneaking out of the house for a moonlight stroll. Big boobs, tight dress, heels and wig I was in heaven. One of my games back then was to drive a mile or so away and lock the keys in the car. Then I would have to walk back home to get the key stashed outside of the house and walk back to get the car. All in full glorious CD dress. As I was walking down the sidewalk one night I saw what appeared to be a tall slender woman wearing a very wide brim hat and seemingly hobbled by her tight ankle length dress. It was another CD. S(he) had safety pinned her dress hobbling tight and could only take short steps in her high heels. I approached and let her see that I was playing dress up myself but, she was really frightened by my presence. So, I just told her to be safe and left her alone. I had a few other encounters but the internet really opened my eyes to a larger community than I had previously imagined.
Hmm? I haven't done that lock the keys in the car thing in a while. Maybe this weekend I could..........
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
I didn't, nor had the clue how too...
Ironically, I have came out as a cross dresser too... A few of my close friends knew and they held my secret, but, that's effectively a lifetime ago, whereby I have moved to different areas and no longer know where they live or even if they are still alive... So safe to say I am in the closet and now reluctant to come out... I just dressed then (as I do now) firmly behind closed and locked doors, when I know that I will not be caught...
Similarly the Internet wasn't about, and even when it first did come around the likes of compuserve and the original AOL where incredibly slow and still didn't have the CD forums... As far as I was concerned, I was just the 'kinky' bloke down the street who enjoyed wearing his sisters clothing...
wait.....there was a time BEFORE the internet ????? .....kidding xoxo
Never met another crossdresser before the internet.
And even today, away from the larger cities, it is hard to meet others.
Every major city had a fetish weekly. In Toronto there was TAB magazine, in New York there was Screw, and miriad others. In the old days CD's really only wanted to communicate to hook up. It was all very hush hush.
"in New York there was Screw" Ha I remember that I was in my 20's and a visitor to your fine city.
Screw opened my eyes (but not my legs) to endless possibilities.
Meetings often took place in and around Public Lavvys, I'm told.
There were crossdressing magazines back then, and "alternative" newspapers where people ran personal ads...snail male or phone was how you responded. It was long and tedious...photos were worse--before digital, you took your film to a drugstore or photo processor and waited a few days to get them back....all the time time wondering who was snickering at your image...
It was rough. I would comb the Readers Digest Guide to Periodical Literature. I would comb the card catalog at university. I found a small ad for Lee's Mardi Gras Boutique in Manhattan in the back of the local newspaper when I moved to New Jersey after finishing school. That really opened the flood gates. Hugs, Michelle
There were books that mentioned the various support groups, and of course magazine articles which one could easily find the RGTPL. In the big cities, the support groups often advertised in the free weeklies. There was also TV, every once in a while you might see a Tri-Ess or Renaissance member on Phil Donahue or something.
There were also electronic networks before the Internet. I know there were CD's on the likes of Compuserve, the Source, and smaller BBS networks back in the 80's.
If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.
I live in metro Detroit and I used the Metro Times weekly papers classifieds to meet and find out about activities in Detroit. The first Cross Dressing shop I went to was Lavender and Lace. I'll always remember going there and being fitted with a corset, it was wonderful being treated like a lady by the sales assistant. They use to have monthly meeting for cross dressers. I had my first makeup makeover there. I miss that shop.
Janet's Closet is a great shop in Detroit for everything breast forms, wigs, makeup, heels .... fantastic staff.
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