Would this be a hilarious shopping experience?

[Nicole Erin]

So you go to buy your pink frilly panties. You wait til the coast is clear, sneak over and grab a package, hoping that group of what SEEMS like 500 obnoxious teenagers didn't see you, but you got them. Maybe they aren't laughing at you, but you imagine they are They are now in the cart hiding under the vacuum bags or whatever "coverup" because you know, the cashier won't notice every item you are buying.

Well, you need to feel like a man for a moment so you go look around in the hunting section. So you gather your nerve and head to the registers. Ahh look, self check-out. You can just scan and pay. Be on your way and back to your shiny black Ford F-350 super duty truck with chrome trim.

So at the self check-out, you scan the vacuum bags, then go to scan the undies. There doesn't seem to be a tag on them anywhere. Oh f$%@. Well you cannot really slip away because the cashier has asked if you need help while staring at the pack of undies. So you try to sound bold and calm and say, "There isn't a tag on this." By this time, the Self check-out has become Grand Central station. You also notice that group of "500" teenagers approaching the check-out. You pray to (whatever you have faith in) that they don't see you. The cashier stands there staring at the package to try to find a SKU. Of course there isn't one so she has to call the DEPT and describe what she is holding. The person on the other end doesn't understand so he will have to come up and check. Of course he is just getting off lunch so it will be a few minutes.

He finally comes up after what seems like 4 hours and they both stare, he digs thru his phone's store app to find a SKU, and about this time the manager wants to know what is going on cause managers like to "get involved". So there all three of them are, trying to figure out the SKU. The company butt-kisser notices the group and decides to join in also cause he or she is just THAT important. You look around like you are bored (instead of like you are sweating blood) and notice there are more cameras than at a presidential debate.

You know when you can feel your face turn beet red like it is on fire? So they finally get the SKU, you fight with your credit card for a few minutes (the cashier has to help again) and are on your way.

Walking back to your truck, you feel mortified. You see your testosterone truck parked out there and walk by a Toyota Prius. A pink one. With those headlight "eyelashes". And a Betty Boop air freshener hanging off the rear view mirror. You swear you can hear your truck laughing.

So the point is - yes, Self check-out IS a good idea.

[Gina Torres]

Mine was similar though I was buying womens sandals. They were the last ones on the rack so they sent someone to get one with a tag but there weren't anymore. Oh yea and I wasn't in self check out. I survived but just barely. I was in Wal-Mart I'm assuming you were too.

All these kinds of experiences help us get stronger imo.

[Heidi Stevens]

Next time you buy panties, go over to Penney's or Kohl's and go thru the line. You had to it at Wally World didn't you? Plus you'll get a better grade of panties!

[Dana44]

Oh my Erin, that was great. LOL. Yeah, it is always fun when the cashier say's, these are two different sizes are you sure you want this one. "Uh yeah..."

[Abbey11]

Excellent story Nicole, LOL. Hope you have better luck next time.

[Dawn cd]

I've always felt that being outed at the lingerie counter is almost as nice as being dressed in public. My true self is shining under my drab clothes . . . a definite high.

[Christie ann]

Was that you checking out right next to me with the bra and "foundation garments" in size XL.

[Tara Rushing]

Awesome story! My worse was a bikini at Wal Mart self check out. I was so naive I didn't realize it had one of those "anti theft" buttons. I tried to scan it and immediately Ms Helpful shows up to remove the device with that special "tool". She's about 65 and I'm living in the buckle of the Bible Belt and she just gives me the death stare......I could just feel my face blushing.....finished and paid and walked out with what little dignity I could muster and headed out to my pickup......

[Dominique12]

This happened to me at wal-mart. After much debate I picked up a black bra in my size. The only one I think. I always go through the self checkout, and of course no price tag. I tried scanning everything on the bra, even tried looking it up on the checkout computer screen. I looked around and no one came over. So I finished checking out and handed the bra to the guy and told him it did not have a price on it. He said, so you don't want it. I said no and kept walking. I'll try again.

[Kellitgdet]

So funny, but true, I would think everyone must have a story. You just have to make the decision and own it, it's all about your attitude. My funny story, I was at the check out counter purchasing my lingerie when a beautiful woman came up to the opposite side of the check out station with her purchase. The SA rang her vibrator with a huge selection of attachments on my credit card, so that puts all the attention on her purchase. It was very funny, glad it wasn't the other way around.
Kelli

[sometimes_miss]

I went through this buying tampons for the wife; item won't scan. Person up front runs through the store with the box to get the right scan code off the shelf. Panties? No problem. Any idiot asks, you can always respond with: 'She stained the pair she's wearing. Women do have periods, you know, and stuff happens. You don't know about that yet that? (look at them like they're idiots)....You will'. Now you can walk into a store and buy JUST panties without fear. Anyone who comments will be presumed to be an idiot after your reply.

[Allison2006]

I actually did buy a 3 pack of panties not long ago at Walmart that I couldn't find the bar code on, and a cashier had to come over and help. Fortunately my wife was with me so the cashier might have presumed they were fro her.My only embarassment was for holding up the line.

[TrishaTX]

I have found a new place that is resale...I love it. Everything from Anne Taylor, to dresses etc....there is even a guy section. So yesterday I went in and bought four items, two fit two did not. Today, I went back they did the refund and I bought more but in between..
- Do you need gift receipt (no)
- Your wife allows you to shop for her?(yes)
- she didn't like the other items( no)
now checking my work email making like aI am busy...
- oh do you have a points account, yes give number
- Oh your close to a reward make sure you shop again this week
- How do you know her seize( I guess)
- does she always like your style(sometimes I say)...
Funny part os now she has to know its me by my answers etc...

still

- She seems to like skirts allot(actually i buy for her what I like to see her in)
- Do you think she needs hoes (no she is good)

it went on a little more ...instead she could have asked and I would have said they were for me...but if we are playing that game???

[Glenda58]

I bought some the other day. The sales lady asked if these were for me. I said no I like the pink ones with lace and a thong. She laugh and rung me up.

[Robin414]

OMG Nicole, didn't know whether to laugh my ass off or cry...kinda been there, done that!

Honestly, I totally laughed my ass off, great post! 😂

[Jilmac]

Those evil self checkout registers are programmed to reject items from people who want to remain anonymous. I think they have a chip installed to scan a nervous buyer.

[susann_gardener]

I reciently bought a hot pink long line push up bra at Wallmart, that I'm wearing right now. I think I did it all right as I dont have any funny story to tell. I was just browsing in the bra dept when I saw this bra. I knew I had to have it, so I went and found a basket (it's quite impossible to see through them) to carry the bra to the self check. I made sure there was a scanable tag and arranged it in the basket to be easily accessible. I was lucky there was an open register, walked up, grabbed the bra so I could quickly scan the tag, and dropped it into a bag.

Funny part - after getting out to my truck and "storing" the bra, I had to go back into the store to get what I went there for in the first place.

[Stephanie47]

I have learned a long time ago, even if the package has a UPC or a SKU code on it, go find a self scanner and check it out. I've bought many items that are new to the store and are not yet in the computer. It irritates the crap out of me. I have to wait because too many cashiers do not have any initiative and just plain freeze. "Duh! What am I going to do? Oh, shit! Call for help." I use the self checkout lane at Wal-Mart all the time. Now Target has them also.

I have no issues throwing anything into the basket. If you need to muster some courage make out a shopping list your "wife" made out. Guys are incapable of shopping? Duh! List that package of panties between the milk and detergent. Lately, I have bought a lot of women's clothing on-line with store pickup. I get notified by email when the purchase is ready for pickup. Twice I have picked up two dresses each in size XL and 16/18. Once for four packages of tights. At Sears a floor length maxi dress brought out on a hanger. Nobody really cared. Maybe since I'm a senior the cashiers or sales associates think older men do not have any sexuality left.

Valentine's Day is coming up. This is the time of year to load up on red and pink bra and panty sets, nighties and sexy outfits.

[Teresa]

Nicole,
I know the feeling of turning bright red ! Also the lesson not to shop in your home town .
I was in a department store and asked a SA about some underwear, she called across a fairly crowded store to another SA, " Ladies underwear for the gentleman !" The reply came back , " Ask him to wait by the knicker rack !" My face was as red as the underwear I was pretending to ignore, but the sales were on and I wasn't going to pass them up. I still left with panties, suspender belt, bra and slip all in red. Every time wear them I recall the two SAs having some fun at my expense !

[Beverley Sims]

I was looking for a Bra 36B, not so many of these so a limited range.

I was asked by an assistant if she could help and I quoted a 36B underwire soft cup bra.

We searched around and eventually found a couple.

I looked at them trying to choose, she said the pink one looks good is it for you?

I was in drab, she had a smirk on her face and I said "yes".

She said " you should try them on to see if they fit."

Naah! I'll take them both and let her decide.

Aww! I did so want to help you try them on...

Was that a missed opportunity?

We were both about 21 then. :-(

[Ozark]

I posted this August 2013..... I enjoyed the exchange.

Tuesday I went to the VF outlet store in Branson.

I bought three pair of Olga Secret Hug briefs, a set of VF coloratura pajamas and a matching gown. Oh yeah, three pair of low cut socks and three pair of regular socks (men's)

At the checkout the sales clerk asked if I was a member of the VF club, I was and I gave her my phone number. "I hope these aren't for you," She said, "Do you wear these?" I replied, "Not all at once."
She then said something to the effect "Don't worry, I'm not judging you, at least not to your face".

Then my phone rang and it was a call I needed to take so I just ignored the sales clerk and paid with my credit card.

Years ago I would have been embarrassed or anxious. Now, I just blew it off as a poor attempt at humor.

Last year, at Sear's, This happened on Valentine's day:

This afternoon I went down to the cabin to check on the boat, move a tv down there and generally check on the place since I hadn't been down there since before Thanksgiving. It was all secure.

I headed over to Branson to the VF store but I got there about 6:30 and it was closed.

So I went over to the Tangier outlet mall (can you tell I'm in Branson) to the Jockey Store. I bought eight pair of Jockey for Her pants on sale for 2.99 plus a 14% Valentine's day discount. I got french cuts and extended briefs in every color the store had. The woman asked me if I knew about their 100% satisfaction guarantee....if SHE wasn't satisfied, bring them back for a total refund. I told her that I know what I liked and I am sure these panties will be satisfactory.

But I wasn't done. I headed back to Springfield and stopped by Dillard's in the mall and bought 5 pair of Cabernet full cut brief panties in black, red, white, blue and yellow. I asked the sales clerk if these pants (I used that word) ever went on sale. She told me they are such a good seller at that price and they were comfortable and they sell a lot of them. I told her yes, these pants are so comfortable that I keep coming back for more.

I had a 20% coupon off at Penney's and a 25% coupon off at Sears. I went to Sears and picked up a sears brand nylon night gown and a three pack of sears panties, not the VIP panties, the old blue package panties.

At the checkout counter, the girl asked is I got her the right size. I told her I am sure the size is correct. She then asked if I wanted to keep the hanger.

I said, yes.

She asked if I wanted to use my sears card and she looked up to see if I was a member of the Sears Club. I gave her my phone number and She must have seen my purchase history because she said I bet you have 5 of these hanging in your closet in every color (if only she knew!)

I told her we had enough colors and I was actually looking for white and counted find any in the size I wanted. She commented that the gown I picked out--- just a basic sear's nylon VF knockoff-- would certainly look cute on me... I told her A lot of things look cute on me. In my mind, I said, I have a perfect body. We both laughed.

I could sense another person in line behind me. The clerk kept up with her banter. I was enjoying it, I don't think I was blushing, but it was fun.

She picked up the package of panties and told me she thought I'd look cute in the pink panties, and the blue and beige ones too, they were so cute. I again told her I was looking for white but didn't find any. I had picked up a size 9 package--these run big because I had bought a size 11 before Xmas and they swam on me.

She told me did I have the right size as these run big. I told her I knew that and that there is even a note in the package stating that fact, these panties run big but shrink down in the wash.... I know because I am using that card as a bookmark in the book I am reading... she said she didn't know that.

She asked if I wanted a receipt or an e-receipt.. which I opted for. So, I don't know her name but she did make me smile.

I think she knew who I was buying these for. When my wife got home from work this evening I told her what happened. She wondered how many old men buy panties from Sears.

I reminded her of the time she and I wear at the VF store in Branson and the sales clerk told me, as I was purchasing VF briefs (for me--- when shopping with the wife, while she will pick out styles she thinks I will like, she makes me carry the panties andpay for them, she tells me what to do. She wonders if I want to buy something pretty. I always do.)

Anyhow, several years ago at VF store, at the check out, the checker...a middleaged woman about my age, maybe a little younger, says 'these are very comfortable, lots of men buy them.' I said something like yes, they are comfortable, not agreeing that I wear them or not. Then my wife says oh you now you like to wear them.

Well, they are comfortable I said. The clerk said I thought so. I asked how. She said the sizes. Oh. I was buying big sizes and my wife is about a size 7. Have a nice day and enjoy your purchase she said, I will said I.

[grace7777]

In my early days of shopping for female clothes and also before I started shopping en femme, I was at a Wal-Mart in the self checkout line scanning a pair of fishnet hose. The item would not scan, so I ask the woman monitoring the self checkout area for help. She comes over, I hand her the fishnet hose and she types the UPC number in, and it shows up on the screen. As she leaves she smiles at me, like I know you are buying them for yourself. I complete the purchase and leave the store. Being I was over 200 miles from home, I had no worry of anyone I know seeing me.

[docrobbysherry]

I shop in drab and I'm the last guy in the room that looks like a dresser with my beard and stash. Heck, I don't much look like one dressed!

I've long ago gotten over comments or looks because of my endless girlie purchases. If I say yes when an SA jokingly asks if they're for me? They seem to want to change the subject immediately.

I've found others waiting in the checkout line to be a bigger nuisance. A guy a couple folks behind me in a thrift store loudly said he thot I'd look good in the 5" heels I was holding. I said, "Really? I wasn't sure they'd go with my complexion. What do u think?" A number of folks chuckled. But, the comic shut up!

Most folks aren't comfortable talking about CDing when they see it doesn't bother u. Especially men!

[sometimes_miss]

it went on a little more ...instead she could have asked and I would have said they were for me...but if we are playing that game???

Remember, she might just have been 'making conversation'. Many women simply like to chatter a lot, to no particular end. They're not always fishing for information. Sometimes, yes; always, no.

[Samantha981]

One store I shop is Kohls, they always have a clearance rack to browse. check in once in a while see if there is anything. Will get glares (at least that is what I feel, could be my imagination) from the other women shoppers.
Once, was getting a couple bras and panties, more a sexy push up balconette style than everyday comfort, for me. The guy at the checkout asked if my wife lets me buy her lingerie and she wears it? I just said yes, she does. He was so jealous, said he wished his wife would wear fun lingerie.
Another, I found bras and panties (why is it I always go there... and I always seem to find something ) for my self and wife. Different sizes of course! The lady at checkout, innocently asking as she thought maybe I didn't know better: Do you know these are different sizes? Me: Yes, that is correct. Her: OK....
Even in guy mode I'll wear a bit of lipstick when shopping on my own (gets me in mood for shopping) so she maybe put it together - or thought I had two SO's ??